2. Han’some Valentine
The world became a blur of neon colors and specks of gold. I had reported to Bottoms Up after my performance, and I was officially floating in outer space. The bass from the speakers in the corner of the room vibrated through my body, forcing me to rest my head against the back of the couch.
Even though everybody around me was having a good time, all I could think about was the fact that it was getting late and how my daughter, Nyari Skye, had recently developed a fear of the dark.
She was probably giving her mama a hard time because she liked to force her to sleep alone.
An uneasy feeling settled in my gut, and I made the decision to call it a night earlier than usual.
Lifting a hand, I got my security, Judea’s, attention.
He left the entrance of my private section to walk over.
He bypassed the many women attempting to get his attention until he was standing right beside me with a scowl.
I spoke when he leaned closer. “Bring the car around. I’m about to head to Tana’s crib. ”
He nodded once before clearing a path for us to leave the club.
Hands roamed all over my body, and I almost lost my cool when one ho tried to snatch me to her by my wrist. “Aye, back the fuck up, shawty,” I snapped with a frown.
In a quick motion, I snatched myself from her grip.
“Ain’t nobody going home with me, but if I was choosin’, ain’t no way you thought I’d ever pick yo’ ass.
Not even a bean would make me get that low and freaky. Fuck up out my face.”
My eyes bounced from her dry-ass wig to her childish-ass kitten heels.
I shook my head in disgust. I watched red lipstick paint the tip of her chin when she frowned at me.
There was so much more I could say, but I settled on a chuckle before I turned to walk away.
No one stood in my way, seeing the sneer on my face, after that.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I dialed up Fontana, even though I knew she was unlikely to answer.
She’d had an attitude ever since I sent her home earlier instead of allowing her to stay for my performance at Blue Note.
The minute she noticed I was at the after party at Bottoms Up, she started texting me a bunch of bullshit.
:
You are such a fucking dead beat!
Rather go to the club than come home with your family!
LOSERRRRRRRRRR!!!!
I fucking hate you! Always smiling in some bitch face. Ima slap the shit out of you when I see you. On my daughter!
The last part really irked the fuck out of me because don’t put nothing on my baby, especially when you were lying out the side of your neck.
Fontana was more bark than bite, while I was the opposite.
I wasn’t afraid to hem her ass up when she took things too far, and she was aware of it.
She liked that rough and aggressive shit, though, and was always trying to provoke me to take it there with her.
I never really lifted my head from my phone until I was sliding in the back seat of the blacked-out Eskimo truck.
Judea slid into the passenger seat before my driver, Spec, eased the truck into drive.
I kept trying to call Tana, but it was useless.
She liked to play these kinds of games when she didn’t get her way.
I was not the kind of man to be controlled, and that was why we couldn’t get along.
If you asked her, she would say our relationship didn’t work because I was a superstar and couldn’t be loyal.
My version was that she was missing some screws.
She was only happy when everything was about her.
As soon as I didn’t bend to her will, she would swear I was fucking around on her.
Like, I knew she was crazy for real when she flipped on me because I stayed in the hospital with my dying grandmother after she saw there was a young and pretty nurse on duty.
Fontana gave me a fucking headache, and I tried to avoid her at all costs, but being able to see my daughter was priceless.
Nyari Skye Valentine came into this world three years ago, sounding like a harmonica.
While the cries of a newborn could send some men scrambling in fear, whenever I heard my baby cry, I drew closer to her.
I never thought about becoming a father, but my instincts kicked in from the second I saw her beautiful little chocolate face.
A notification from Instagram told me that Tana had gone live.
I clicked on it since I knew the way she operated.
She wouldn’t answer my calls but would get on social media to provoke me into commenting on her live.
Everything about our relationship was so toxic; just hearing her name gave me heart palpitations.
“Hey, y’all! Do my skincare with me while I ignore my trifflin’-ass baby daddy.” Her voice poured from my phone speaker, making me clench my fist.
I shook my head because she was on her usual bullshit. I watched as people told her I was on the live in the comments. “He’s a stalker, so of course he’s watching. Boy, bye. I don’t got nothing to say to you, and I’m not fucking you, so go home. Skye is sleep anyways.”
My nose flared because I didn’t trust a word out of this girl’s mouth.
She was on the live, acting tough, talking about me going home and not fucking me, but if the offer was on the table, I promise that door would be unlocked right now.
She liked to paint this image as if she wanted nothing to do with me, when it was the complete opposite behind the scenes.
By the time I tuned back into reality, I saw we were pulling up to the two-story townhouse I’d purchased for Fontana.
She wanted nothing more than for me to live there with them, and for a while I did, but one thing I hated was to be questioned.
If you say you trust me, then don’t be doing a bunch of sneaky shit like going through my phone, social media, or sending bitches to do loyalty tests on me.
Every time that demonic voice in her head told her I was cheating, she would go out and find some lame-ass nigga to give that pussy to.
For a while, I didn’t care, because I would just cheat back, but after a while, it became way too exhausting.
I got tired of breaking up fights because she couldn’t handle me dogging her the way she wanted to dog me.
After two years of insistent nagging, I had to get the fuck on through, and we hadn’t been on good terms since.
The last year of Skye’s life, I fought to see her and spend time with her because of her mother’s pettiness.
She knew my baby was all the family I had, but she loved keeping her away from me.
Every time I was denied access to Skye’s life, it formed another crack in my already broken heart.
Tapping on the box to bring up my keyboard, I left a comment.
@yousohansome:
Unlock the door
Pushing the back door open, I slammed it shut behind me, then rushed across Tana’s lawn toward the front door.
Bang! Ring! Bang! Ring! Bang! Ring!
I beat my fist against Fontana’s door while simultaneously ringing her doorbell. Her live was still up on my phone, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know she was awake in there. If I had to bet all the assets to my name, I would say my baby was still up too.
“Here this nigga go.” Her voice sounded chipper as fuck on the live.
“Hold on, y’all.” I lifted the phone, expecting to see that she’d ended the live, but instead, I heard her slippers scraping across the floor until she was standing on the other side of the door.
“Valentine, I already told you to go home.”
I banged on the door, becoming more agitated. “Man, stop fucking playing, and open the door, Tana. I know my baby not asleep yet.”
“Yes the fuck she is!” On cue, I could hear Skye’s cries through the live.
Fontana sucked her teeth, then buried her face back in the phone.
“See. You woke her up.” She turned her attention the top of the pitch-black stairs, where I was sure my baby was standing in fear.
“Go back to bed, Nyari, and stop all that crying. Damn! You and your daddy getting on my fucking nerves.” I continued to bang on the door, demanding she open it, but she retreated to the back of the house where she was.
“Anyways, let me pour a glass of wine before I go back to what I was doing. These people are stressing me out.”
I stood at the front door, fuming, seeing her pour herself a glass of red wine. Clicking on the comment box, I said what was on my mind without any thought of the consequences.
@yousohansome:
Now if I shot the lock off this door then kicked it off the hinges, I’d be wrong but you hear my baby crying. Instead of letting her come with me you’d rather sit on this live acting like you’re right by keeping her away from me.
She leaned forward to read what I said. “Bye, Valentine. Leave before I call the fucking police on your ass. Ain’t nobody scared of you, and you’re not coming up in here tonight.
It’s nothing wrong with her crying; she’s a toddler.
The problem is you got her spoiled as fuck.
Now that’s all she wanna do when she doesn’t get her way. ”
@yousohansome: You’re a fucking joke. Die slow hoe.
@yousohansome:
@yousohansome: About to go dig a hole for you. I’ll be right back
I exited out of her live and backed away from her door.
My chest heaved up and down, knowing I was so close to my baby and not being able to take her with me.
It took every ounce of strength I had not to do exactly what the fuck I said, but acting like that would scare my daughter.
That was a side of me I didn’t want her to see unless it was necessary.
Backing away from the door, I blinked back the tears that wanted to set themselves free. With a quick swipe of my nose, I made my way back to where Spec and Judea were waiting for me. The door slammed shut with a resounding thud when I closed myself inside with them.
“You good, V?” Judea questioned as he turned to look at me.
“Just turn the radio up,” I mumbled absentmindedly.
I wanted to spazz out, and it required real work to remain levelheaded. I didn’t jump when music began to play loudly. Instead, I pulled out my phone and decided to make my own posts on social media.
“Baby Mama ain’t shit! She won’t let me see my daughter!
” I rapped along to the song playing in the background, feeling every word in my soul.
Unable to truly let myself cry, I poured my frustration, my anger, and my sadness into rapping the lyrics like I was going to be nominated for an award because of it.
Reaching for the bottle of Black Sade in the ice bucket, I popped the cork on it then took a shot straight to the head.
I wasn’t a perfect nigga, and I knew that.
I did try to be a good man for my daughter, and that meant something to me because I could very well abandon her the same way my mama abandoned me.
A lot of women felt I didn’t have feelings, but when it came to my daughter, I wore them on my sleeve for the world to see.