34. Grae
Grae
Unbelievable. Alana’s secondary address is about ten doors down from Amanda’s. The number of ways our worlds have been in the same orbit is killing me.
I’ve got a pear and arugula salad in one hand, the other reaching for the door, but it swings open. Lukas stands there, two dogs bounding out from behind him. One looks like a tiny husky, ears pointing up, curly, cinnamon roll tail shaking from side to side. He puts his front paws on me and barks.
“Puppy!” But a smaller, fluffier dog comes scampering in, tripping on his own feet. He tumbles and gets back up. He barks in circles around my feet. “Double Puppy!” I’m in heaven for a few minutes while I pet them and rub behind their ears.
Lukas pats his leg. “Kingston, New Dog with No Name, come!” The dogs and I follow him. The layout is similar to Amanda’s, kitchen and living room on the main level. I assume the next two floors are bedrooms and bathrooms.
The living room is filled with familiar faces and some new ones.
I recognize all the men who broke into my home, each with a different drink in their hand.
Obviously, I know Katya since she’s on the Mastodon payroll.
There’s the blue-haired girl who owns a dog-walking company sitting next to that Joey guy who came over to help me write my apology text to Alana.
The cogs in my brain start working, and I remember meeting Izzy back at the hospital before I went to rehab. The only one I don’t recognize is whispering to Lukas and turning bright red. Waverly.
Ok be cool man, be cool.
Alana is leaning over the counter that divides the space picking at a cheese plate. I cross to her and place a kiss on her cheek, and she gives me a half smile back. “So, this is everyone. Various levels of danger. It’s the quiet ones you need to watch out for.” She pours me a glass of water.
Pretty much everyone greets me with smiles and waves.
Except Lance, who has his back turned to me, arms crossed and his general scowl.
I almost don’t recognize Thiago. He has a mature aura around him he didn’t have when we were kids.
I offer a small smile. He returns it with a dip of his chin.
Uri looks over at me, blushes, and turns away.
Shit, I still need to talk to him. Maybe not tonight, but soon.
Right now, it’s all about getting everyone to like me.
Then there’s a stampede of feet racing down the stairs.
Two boys at roughly the same age, one with shaggy, dark brown hair and the other with short blonde hair.
They have wicked grins on their mouths, and their eyes flash with mischief.
Behind them is a girl with strawberry blonde hair.
She’s slightly taller than the boys and maybe a year older.
I can’t tell with kids. But she zeroed in on me.
“Oh, I get it now.” She flashes a devilish smile. “Uncle Lance, do you hate Alana’s boyfriend because he’s so much more attractive than you?”
“No!” Lance whips his head around to the kid and yells.
The blonde boy goes, “Oh, is it because he has so many awards and you don’t?”
Lance answers with a more annoyed, ‘No.’
The kid with dark hair smirks. “Dad, is it because he has so much more money than you?” Lance snaps another ‘No,’ but a smile crosses his lips. Izzy pats his leg—I guess the term ‘Dad’ is still fresh. “Then why?” His newly acquired son asks.
“Because” Lance huffs, “he made Aunt Alana sad.”
But then Izzy takes her hand off his lap and crosses her arms, her eyes narrowing. “So you’re saying in your perfect world, Alana and Grae never broke up?”
Alana hums into her wine glass and leans on the counter. She whispers to me, “I’d love to see how he gets out of this one.”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Lance stammers, and looks around the room for any support. “I just think he shouldn’t have broken up with her.”
Then Katya steps up and starts pacing. “So let me get this straight. In your perfect world, Grae and Alana would have stayed together. So she could grow up and become an influencer or Lena’s manager?
Let’s take it from the beginning. I would be working for the CIA and never be assigned to Russia, so both Uri and Ian would be dead.
Oh wait, Thiago would also be dead, because I wouldn’t warn Alana about the bomb in his car.
” She waves her hand around to point to each person.
“Izzy would still be down South and therefore wouldn’t have a conversation with Waverly about leaving Adam.
So, there’s a fifty-fifty shot that he would’ve killed her and you never would have met Izzy.
Joey would have shot Jenny when she first came in to walk Kingston.
And Majesty would have taken over the world.
Cool. You want to trade all that, so that Alana wasn’t sad for a little while? ”
He sinks his chin to his chest and sighs. “I guess not.”
“You guess?” Izzy rubs her pregnant belly.
Any guilt I had about breaking up with Alana years ago fades, because clearly it was better for the entire universe that we did.
But I don’t get to think about it because there’s a little girl running down the stairs screaming.
Her pigtails swing back and forth as she screams, “Don’t you hurt Midge!
” She punches her little fists against my side, but she doesn’t do any major damage.
“Why do you think I would hurt Midge?” I ask in a soft tone. “I love Midge. She sleeps on my chest.”
That makes Lance jump up. “What?! I lived with that cat for years and she never slept on me.”
I give a little shrug. “She hopped right on me.”
Lance throws his arms in the air and stomps towards the double doors to walk out onto the balcony. But the fists continue their attack.
“You eat pussy cats. Daddy says that’s why Alana likes you.” She blinks, red-faced and teary-eyed at Alana. “Is that true?”
Jesus Christ on a bike, are you kidding me right now? My girlfriend gives a side smile. “One day you’ll appreciate a partner who eats cats. But he would never hurt Midge.”
The little girl doesn’t seem to believe her. She shakes her head and the pigtails whack her in the eyes which makes her squeal in pain. “He’s a monster. He sucks rocks with Uncle Uri and that’s really bad for your teeth.”
Oh my God! Uri pulls his hoodie over his head and yanks the string so tightly it completely covers his face. Am I dead? I’m pretty sure I’m about to die of embarrassment. But Alana seems completely unphased as she continues to stroke the little girl’s cheek.
“One day you’ll understand but tell your dad you need to get your hearing checked.
” She slides the little girl a cookie, “Now, Maria. Go back upstairs and kick Drew’s ass at Mario Cart.
” She taps Maria on the nose and smiles, then turns her attention to the kids still on the stairs.
“Hey Ian, I don’t mind being sad for a little while, because it means you lived. ”
The blond one with short hair flashes her a huge smile. There’s a softness between them, and something in my brain itches like what I’m watching is important, but I can’t place why.
Once the kids are upstairs, Alana flashes me a wicked smile. “So… you suck rocks with Uri?” Uri pulls his knees to his chest and whimpers. I don’t deny it. Alana walks to the other side of the bar and smirks. “How many of my friends do you have a history with?”
“In this room?” I look around. “No one else. I have been solicited by others, and I did hit on Joey to show him I wasn't hitting on Jenny.” Alana’s eyes scan my body and then lazily look over at Joey.
“Did he make you question your sexuality?"
“Your boy is, objectively speaking, hot,” he says and then takes a drink from his glass. Jenny puts her head on his shoulder and he kisses it, whispering something to her that makes her smile.
“I don’t approach anyone. They come up to me.” I grab a piece of cheese off the plate.
“Can confirm.” A mumbled affirmation comes from the balled-up hoodie on the couch.
“And why is it you didn’t approach anyone else first?”
I lean over the counter and into her space. “Because none of them were you.”
The room erupts in claps and ‘good answer,’ very Family Feud style. There’s the tiniest curl in the corner of her lip. Score!
“Is there anyone in this room I have to worry about if they approach you?”
I give the room an appraisal once over. Unfortunately for him, Lance decides to choose now to re-enter the room, and I smirk. “No. But I’d be willing to give Lance a hand job if that meant he’d like me.” This earns a deeper frown from Lance and chuckles from the rest of the crew.
Izzy claps her hands together. “Oh my God that would be great. Sometimes I’m feeling gross and all acid refluxy when Lance wants some attention. Is there a number I could call, a service you provide?”
I laugh. “Anything for a pregnant woman.”
But Lance's eyes blaze, and his jaw might snap off. “Fuck you,” he growls and stomps off back to the balcony. This feels different from his other attacks. It’s only two words, but it makes my stomach queasy.
Alana pats me on my shoulder. “Don’t let Lance get you down. Besides, you’ve only got two more days left of your boyfriend free trial.”
“What?” Jenny jumps up, “That’s insane.” She comes over and makes jazz hands around my face. “Look at him!” She puts on an invisible headset and taps her ear. “Ring Ring, this is the Good Boyfriend department.” Alana blinks at her until Jenny motions, “Answer the phone.”
Alana puts her hand to her ear. “Hello?”
“Hello.” Jenny changes her voice to sound more like a telemarketer.
“I am pleased to offer you an unlimited extension on your free trial from the Good Boyfriend Department. I see here looking at your records, that you’ve got stellar social credits due to all the support you’ve given over the years.
Please take this unlimited extension as a gesture of good will. ”