Chapter 58
CECILIA
As we drive, Gabriel’s hand rests gently on my thigh, a silent reassurance amidst the chaos swirling in my mind. I watch the passing scenery through the car window, my tender cheek pressed against the cool glass.
I lost my spot on the team because of you. I won’t make the mistake of believing that lying mouth of yours and let you take anything else from me.
What did he mean by that?
“Did something happen today?” I ask as we pull into Gabriel’s driveway. “When you got back from Sun Valley?”
He doesn’t answer.
Coming around the car, Gabriel opens the passenger door and scoops me into his arms, carrying me inside.
“I can walk,” I tell him, but my argument is weak as I wrap my arms tighter around his neck.
“You’re not wearing any shoes,” he reminds me.
Right.
Gabriel carries me up the stairs and into his room before depositing me on the bed. He disappears for a few seconds into the bathroom, and I hear the shower turn on before he returns with a large fluffy towel and an extra pair of clothes.
“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you—”
“I got it,” I tell him, accepting the clothes and towel. “I need a couple of minutes.”
Jaw tight, he nods. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.”
Turning away from Gabriel, I close the door behind me, needing a moment to collect myself. The harsh fluorescent light of the bathroom casts stark shadows across my bruised and battered body as I strip out of my swimsuit and stand before the mirror.
With trembling hands, I reach up to touch my cheek, wincing at the tenderness beneath my fingertips.
The split in my skin is angry and red, a stark reminder of what I endured.
My left eye is close to being swollen shut, the bruise already beginning to darken, painting my face in shades of purple and blue.
Turning slightly, I take in the raw scrapes on the side of my thigh and shoulder. The skin is tender to the touch, my body aching with every movement now that the adrenaline has worn off.
But it’s not just the physical wounds that haunt me. It’s that feeling of helplessness. Of being overpowered all over again.
Tears blur my vision as I struggle to make sense of it all, to reconcile the image in the mirror with the person I am. The one who was healing. Recovering. Dammit. I was finally starting to put my life back together and then this happens—
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to focus, to push aside the tide of emotions threatening to consume me. I turn away from the mirror and step into the warm shower Gabriel started for me.
The water cascades over me, washing away some of the pain and blood, but it does little to ease the ache in my heart. I close my eyes, desperate for the warmth of the shower’s spray to seep into my bones, but the next thing I know, I’m crying and I can’t seem to stop.
These loud shaky sounds explode from my chest, and I press the back of my hand to my mouth to smother my sobs.
I can’t do this. Not again. There will be questions. The police were there. There’s no way to keep this quiet, and I just know it’s going to blow up in my face.
I’m sure Austin will come up with some sort of story or excuse again, and then what?
Gabriel said there were cameras, but will that be enough? What am I going to do if he gets away with hurting me all over again?
I can’t … I suck in a labored breath.
Defeat wraps around my shoulders. I can’t handle another altercation with Austin or his family again. Every time I go up against him, I lose.
I brace myself against the tile wall, wishing I could make sense of today.
Something had to set Austin off, but what was it?
Closing my eyes, I replay what happened and try to recall Austin’s words.
He blamed me for losing his spot on the team, but why? I didn’t even know he’d been kicked off the soccer team until he screamed it at me.
I’m not trying to ruin Austin’s life here.
All I’ve ever wanted is to stay out of his way. Out of sight so he leaves me alone.
This doesn’t make any sense.
When I emerge from the shower, Gabriel is leaning against the bathroom counter waiting with the towel, his expression tight and etched with concern.
He takes one look at me and holds the towel out in his arms. “Come here, baby,” he says, and I step into his arms, too tired to care about the ugly marks and bruises on my naked body.
Gabriel wraps me in the towel, his touch gentle yet possessive, as if he’s afraid I might slip away if he lets go.
His hands are clean of blood. He must have washed up while I was in the shower. He changed his clothes too, exchanging his torn and blood-stained practice shirt for a clean black T. Breathing him in, I sink into his embrace, the weight of the day finally catching up to me.
Gabriel holds me close, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against my ear. For a moment, I allow myself to believe that everything will be okay, but reality comes crashing back as Gabriel pulls away, his eyes filled with regret.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice heavy with guilt. “I never should have put you in danger. This is all my fault.”
His words cut through me like a knife, reopening wounds I thought had healed. “What happened?” I ask, my voice trembling. “Why did Austin attack me?” How was this your fault?
Gabriel’s gaze flickers away, a haunted look in his eyes.
“I ... I found out about his relationship with my Coach’s daughter,” he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper.
“I thought if I exposed him, he’d get kicked off the team and he was.
” He hangs his head. “I thought I was doing the right thing. After what he did to you, I wanted him to—” He shakes his head.
“I fucked up. I wanted Austin to get what he deserved, but I didn’t think that he’d go after you for it. ”
The pieces fall into place, the truth hitting me like a sucker punch to the gut.
Gabriel’s betrayal cuts deeper than any physical wound. “You had no right,” I choke out. “I told you not to fight my battles, and you went behind my back, anyway. Even after I asked you to let it go?”
I push away from him, anger and betrayal coursing through me like a raging inferno.
This is why we don’t work. This is why I had to push him away to begin with. Why can Gabriel never leave well enough alone?
“I trusted you,” I whisper, my voice raw. “You promised you’d back off. But you lied to me.”
Gabriel reaches for me, his eyes pleading. “Baby, I know. I fucked up and I’m sorry,” he says, his voice cracking with desperation. “I thought I was doing what was best for you. I never meant for shit to blow up like this. For you to get hurt.”
Shaking my head, I back further away from him, clutching the towel tighter against my chest.
His words ring hollow. The damage is already done.
“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me,” I say, my voice trembling with anger. “You don’t get to play the hero and expect me to be grateful when you’re the reason I was in harm’s way in the first place.”
I push past him, my heart suddenly heavy. “I can’t be here right now,” I tell him. I’m so pissed. This— I shake my head. I didn’t deserve this.
“Cecilia, baby. Wait.”
I grab the clothes he set out for me and hastily throw them on, shoving my legs into the sweatpants and pulling on one of Gabriel's oversized shirts.
Voices can be heard downstairs, the guys just now making it home.
I step into the hallway and jog down the stairs.
“Cecilia—”
I don’t slow my steps. My head is a mess. My heart is even more twisted and confused. After last night and then this morning, I thought things were different. In a good way, I think. We were moving in a different direction. Toward something more. But how do we move forward from this?
I can’t even look at him right now.
I told Gabriel not to fight my battles. He wasn’t helping. And every time he pissed off Austin, he made things worse.
I could have died today. Austin very well may have killed me. And for what? Because Gabriel needed to deliver some twisted brand of justice on my behalf? A justice I never even asked for?
“Can you drive me home?” I ask Julio as soon as I step into the living room. He looks past me to Gabriel, who’s made up ground and stands close behind me.
“You sure you don’t want to stay?” he asks. “Just for tonight?” The question is directed toward me, but his eyes stay locked on Gabriel’s, almost like he’s asking permission.
Folding my arms over my chest, I keep my voice firm. “I want to go home,” I tell him. “You can take me or I’ll find another way.”
Gabriel clears his throat behind me.“Cecilia, just let me explain. Please.”
I ignore him and walk toward the door.
“Are you coming?” I ask Julio.
His eyes flick between us before he curses.
“I’m sorry,” he says, and for a second, I think he’s talking to Gabriel, but then he levels apologetic eyes on me.
“You’re upset and that’s understandable but I don’t think you should be alone after what just happened.
Whatever is going on with you two, talk it out. Let Gabriel be there for you.”
He swipes his keys from the entryway table and dips his head toward Deacon and Felix who cautiously loiter near the living room, looking everywhere but at us. “We’ll go grab some food and give you two some privacy to work things out.”
With that, all three of them leave, filing out one after the other. I’m tempted to follow them and force my way into Julio’s car, but I don’t have it in me. I can’t keep fighting like this. I’m tired. So fucking tired. I just need all of this to end.