Chapter 59
GAbrIEL
“Fuck this,” Cecilia mutters, tugging at her wet hair.
She lets out this angry sound as she whirls around to face me where I still stand frozen at the bottom of the stairs.
“I just want to go home!” she screams, her eyes red-rimmed and brimming with tears.
“I—URGH!” Her voice cracks and she swipes angrily at the tears now slipping down her face.
The ache in my chest intensifies, a heavy weight pressing down on me as I watch her unravel before me. I want to go to her, to pull her into my arms and make everything okay. But I know it’s never that simple.
Not after what’s happened today.
Hearing her breakdown in the shower, it fucking gutted me. I’ve never heard her cry like that before. Cecilia’s always been so strong. But she’s breaking apart right in front of me, and the thought that I played a part in her pain ... It’s unbearable.
How do I fix this?
My mind races, desperately grasping for the right words to say, but I keep coming up fucking empty.
“Why don’t we—”
“No!” she snaps, holding a hand out defensively when I step closer.
“We aren’t doing anything. I want to go home.
If you won’t take me, then ...” She trails off, her voice breaking as she fights back tears.
“Then something. I don’t know. I don’t have my phone.
But dammit, I’ve been through enough today. Please. Just take me home.”
Screw this.
Drawing closer, I gently pull Cecilia into my arms. She resists at first, pushing against my chest, but I refuse to let her push me away. Not this time.
My girl is hurting, and I’ll be damned if she won’t allow me to alleviate at least some of her pain. She can demand to go home all she likes, but deep down, I know that’s not what she really wants. And it sure as hell isn’t what she needs.
Wrapping both arms around her small frame, I press her tight to my chest. “I’m sorry,” I mutter against her hair. Tucking her head beneath my chin, I hug her with every ounce of my being, praying for some of my strength to seep into her fragile bones.
Cecilia doesn’t need to be home or alone right now. She needs to know she has people. That I’m here for her, no matter what. That she’s safe now. Holt can’t get to her. I beat that pinche cabrón—fucking bastard—to within an inch of his life.
I should have killed him. I wish I had. Maybe then Cecilia would finally feel some peace.
But with any luck, Holt won’t be leaving the hospital anytime soon, and when he does, it’ll be straight to a concrete prison cell.
“You’re sorry?” she mutters, her voice dripping with bitterness.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Gabriel. You knew what Austin was capable of, and you still went behind my back.
You promised you’d let me fight my own battles.
” She pounds her fist against my chest, her frustration palpable.
“You lied to me. You said we don’t lie to each other, and then .
..” She hiccups, her voice breaking. “You lied.”
“I thought I was doing what was best for you,” I argue, desperation creeping into my tone.
I get that she’s scared and angry. She has every right to be.
But can’t she see what this means? Holt was arrested.
What he did to Cecilia, it’s all on video.
PacNorth has security cameras everywhere.
He can’t lie his way out of trouble this time.
“I never imagined he’d go after you like this,” I tell her.
“If I did …” I shake my head, unable to finish the thought.
Would I have walked away? No. I might have tried something different.
Made sure to have a contingency plan in place and ensured Cecilia was safe at my side when it all went down, but no, I still would have gone through with it.
That bastard deserves to lose everything—fucking everything—that he cares about.
“I would have made sure you were safe,” I tell her.
“But look at the bright side.” I know it’s hard for her right now, but in a messed up sort of way, what Holt did, it was a good thing.
“Holt can’t get to you anymore. He’s going to go down for this.
There will be jail time. Gregory and Parker were arrested, too.
You’re safe now.” None of those bastards will ever be able to get to her again. Not after this.
“Well, congratulations,” she mutters, her sullen tone laced with sarcasm. “Looks like your plan worked out perfectly.”
“I didn’t plan for any of this,” I insist, my frustration evident.
I’m not dismissing what happened. What she went through. Today was a complete fucking mess, but it wasn’t all for nothing.
“I just wanted him to face the consequences of his actions,” I admit. “And now, he will.” It’s hard to see it now, but something good did come out of this.
“And what about the consequences for me?” Cecilia counters, her voice trembling. “Have I not been through enough?” She hastily swipes at her cheeks with the back of her hands. “Urgh!”
I open my mouth to respond, but she cuts me off before I can utter a word.
“You have no idea what it feels like to be attacked like that. To be helpless and afraid. And not for the first time.” She tries to push me away again, but I hang on.
“All because you couldn’t leave well enough alone.
You couldn’t trust me to know what I needed. But let me tell you, it wasn’t this.”
“I’m sorry,” I say for the hundredth time. “I never wanted you to get hurt.”
“Well, I did,” she says, her voice raw. “And I don’t know if I can forgive you for that.”
My stomach jumps into my throat. She doesn’t mean it. She can’t. Cecilia is running on fumes. Her emotions are high, and she’s crashing from the adrenaline in her system. She doesn’t mean what she’s saying. She’s tired, and she needs rest. She’s just lashing out in her pain.
Tomorrow, once she’s had time to rest and recover, she’ll understand.
She’ll forgive me. She has to.
“I’ll make it right,” I tell her. “I’ll fix this.”
She shakes her head against my chest. “You can’t, Gabriel.” Her voice is soft. Defeated. “You can’t.”
I refuse to believe that, but I don’t argue. Instead, I hold her close, feeling her tremble against me as silent sobs wrack her body. Her tears soak through the material of my shirt, but I don’t care. All that matters is that she knows she’s not alone.
The fight drains out of her after that, and despite her earlier anger, she allows me to hold her close, her hands now clinging to me as she continues to shake.
Fuck.
This girl is killing me.
“Don’t cry,” I tell her, holding her impossibly tighter.
“I’ve got you. We’re going to get through this.
” I walk her back toward the couch and pull her into my lap.
Thankfully, she doesn’t fight me this time.
Her soft weight settles against me, and Cecilia curls into me like a cat, tucking her legs close to her chest.
“I’ve got you,” I murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “No matter what, I’ve always got you.”
Rubbing her back, I do the only thing I can, and wait for Cecilia to tire herself out.
It doesn’t take long. Ten, maybe fifteen minutes tops.
Her cries cease, and her tears dry on her cheeks. Looking down at her, I can see the exhaustion in her eyes as her lashes slowly begin to flutter closed.
As she drifts off to sleep, her breathing slow and steady, I hold her close, vowing to do whatever it takes to fix this. To make things right.