Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
maddox
After lunch, a notification pops up on my phone alerting me that the Uber driver is arriving. I was planning to drive Annalise home in hopes that we could spend more time together, but she insisted I stay and visit with my mom.
I could tell that she didn’t trust herself to be alone with me. Especially since she nearly lost control earlier when we ended up with our bodies tangled together on the couch.
Watching Annalise and Okāsan share laughter over a meal filled me with a warm wave of nostalgia. I know she only stayed because she didn’t want to appear disrespectful by turning down Okāsan’s food, but part of me clung to the hope that she wanted to continue being around me.
I wish I knew the real reason why she was back home. Annalise is not the type to give up on her dreams so easily. Her returning home because she felt homesick doesn’t make sense to me. Especially since she spent the last four years living in New York.
It’s never been easy for Annalise to open up to people.
She likes to pretend everything is okay because she doesn’t want to burden anyone with her problems, but I’ve always been able to tell when something is bothering her.
She can wear a smile on her face, but I can still see the pain behind her eyes.
“Don’t be a stranger! Swing by the restaurant any time. You will never have to worry about paying.” Okāsan pulls Annalise into a tight embrace.
“I will! It was so nice to see you again, Mrs. Kamado.” Annalise smiles. “Thanks again for lunch!”
“It was nice to see you too, Annalise. You have been missed.”
Annalise waves her goodbye and slips on her shoes.
“I’ll walk you out,” I say, holding the door open for her.
The door clicks shut behind us. With a nervous glance, she stuffs her hands into her pockets, eyes darting to meet mine. “Uh—thank you for the clothes, and for last night. I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused and for ruining your weekend.”
“Oh, don’t apologize, Monroe. You didn’t ruin my weekend,” I say, reassuring her with a smile.
I could never be mad about spending time with Annalise.
It’s clear that she may hate me, but this was one of the best weekends I’ve had in years.
All those nights I spent partying till sunrise and losing myself in various women don’t even come close to how it felt to wake up next to her.
We stand there in silence, looking at one another. There are so many questions I want to ask her, so many things I want to say.
What would have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted earlier?
Can we meet up somewhere private one day, so we can finally talk and I can tell you all the things I’ve been wanting to say to you all these years?
Before I can say anything, the driver lightly honks his horn, and I miss my opportunity.
She clears her throat and throws her thumb over her shoulder. “I—uh… I should get going.”
“Right. Don’t want to keep him waiting.”
I start to lean in for a hug, but decide against it. I don’t know if I would be able to handle the sting of her rejection. Letting out a shaky breath, I tuck my hands into my pockets instead. “Text me when you get home so I know you made it safely.”
She nods, giving me a quick smile and walking toward the car.
Her eyes linger on me for a brief moment before she slips into the back seat.
The car peels away, and a part of me leaves with it.
Opening the front door, I step back inside and walk to the kitchen to help Okāsan with the dishes. I always tell her to load them into the dishwasher, but she insists on hand washing.
“Why didn’t you tell me Annalise was back?” she asks, arching a brow at me as she scrubs the pot.
“Because I found out less than twenty-four hours ago. She works at Dauntless, the athletic brand I’m collaborating with.”
“See! That’s clearly a sign from God!” She passes me the cleaned pot, smiling at me giddily. “You two are meant to be together.”
I roll my eyes to conceal the warmth swelling in my chest. Maybe it is a sign from God. I lived away from San Francisco for four years, and during all my visits back, I never once encountered Annalise. Maybe the timing wasn’t right then, but it could be now.
But then Annalise’s words slice through my mind, destroying whatever hope I had.
“You may have your dream career, a nice car, and all the money in the world, but you sure as hell will never have me.”
No matter how needy she had been in my lap, she wants nothing to do with me. I need to see her again so we can finally talk about what happened. At the very least, I need closure.
I can’t allow myself to be vulnerable again. If she breaks my heart, I don’t know if I’ll be able to recover this time.
“What was she doing here, anyway? Did she spend the night?”
As much as I love my mother, she can be extremely nosy. Especially when it involves my love life.
“She was at a bar last and got really drunk, so I picked her up.”
“Oh, my boy is such a gentleman!” A smile lights up her face. There’s a twinkle in her eye I haven’t seen in quite some time. “I knew you still loved her.”
“I don’t love her,” I reply dryly.
She turns off the water and looks me dead in the eye. “You can’t lie to me, Masashi. I saw the way you looked at her.”
“It’s been years, Okāsan,” I say with a shrug, keeping my voice steady. “I’ve moved on.”
She shoots me a look that says, You’re full of shit. “If you’ve moved on, then why haven’t you gotten into another relationship?”
I throw my head back, letting out a groan. “Geez! Just because I’ve been single since we broke up doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on. I’m not interested in dating anyone. My career is the most important thing to me right now.”
“There’s a reason why she came back into your life. Don’t let her walk away again.”
“So, what do you think?” Trang asks, chewing her bottom lip as her fingers drum against the table.
I’ve been staring at her sketches for a good ten minutes now, and I’m trying to come up with a nice way to tell her that I abhor her designs.
The clothes she drew are fitting for a sixty-year-old man—not someone in their twenties.
I want to incorporate my Japanese culture in this clothing line, and it’s as though she completely disregarded that vision.
I need to work with someone who knows me.
I need to work with Annalise.
She would know exactly what I want.
“The designs are great… But they’re not exactly what I had in mind.” I give her a smile, hoping to lessen the burn.
“Oh.” Her face falls as she pinches her forearm, unable to meet my gaze. “What’s wrong with them?”
Everything. Where should I even start?
“It’s not my style. I want something more modern. The color choice is a bit loud.”
“Oh. I see…” She clears her throat, grabbing the sketchbook and clutching it tight to her chest. “I’ll get started on some new designs to show you next time you’re here.”
“Sounds great. I’ll see you then,” I say.
She forces a smile and walks out of the conference room with her head hung low.
Damn it. Was I too harsh?
I wasn’t about to lie to her and tell her it was everything I wanted. Plus, in her line of work, you would think she’d be able to accept criticism.
I glance around the office, and my pulse ricochets when I spot Annalise. She’s at her desk, typing away, completely focused. My heartbeat quickens when I catch sight of her skirt—cut just high enough to reveal the tattoo of roses inked along her thigh.
Earlier, when I arrived at Dauntless, she wasn’t here.
I asked her coworker, Ivy, where she was and she told me Annalise was out buying supplies for Veronica.
She gave me a funny look when I asked about Annalise, but I didn’t care.
I had to see her again. I would’ve found an excuse to stick around until she returned.
I had basketball practice earlier this morning, so I made sure to pack a nice outfit to change into and to wear my best cologne.
Before I approach her, I quickly glance at my reflection in the mirror that’s hanging on the wall to make sure I look presentable.
“You wanna get some ph? for lunch?” Ivy asks Annalise.
“Ooh, yes. It’s the perfect weather for that,” she replies.
“Okay! I need to go to the restroom. I’ll meet you out front!” Ivy says as she steps inside the elevator.
Annalise gets up from her seat and grabs her purse, knocking over her sketchbook in the process.
“Damn it,” she mutters with a sigh.
“Here, let me get that for you.” Crouching down, I reach for the sketchbook, which is open to a page with a beautiful green gown.
I stare at it in awe, admiring the intricate details. “Your talents are wasted here. You should quit and start your own clothing line. I know it would be a huge success.”
She snatches the sketchbook from me. “Unlike you, I don’t have rich parents, nor am I a millionaire. Am I just supposed to pull the money out of my ass?”
I mean, it’s big enough…
“If you need help starting your business, I can help you. I have plenty of connections, and I’d promote your fashion line on my social media. And if you’re worried about the money, I’d be more than happy to give you—”
“I’m not a damn charity case!” she snaps.
I let out a heavy sigh, shaking my head. “You confuse the hell outta me, Monroe. A few days ago, you were practically begging me to fuck you. And now you can’t even stand being in the same room as me? Make up your damn mind.”
She shoots me a glare. “I was drunk. Don’t read too much into it.”
“What is it they say? A drunk mind speaks sober thoughts?” If looks could kill, I’d be six feet under. “But I wasn’t talking about that.” I flash her a cocky smile, keeping my voice low. “I’m talking about what happened on my couch.”
Her eyes widen, heat flooding her cheeks. My cock strains against my slacks from thinking about the look in her eyes and the sound of her soft moans as she straddled my lap.
The office begins to clear. Everyone is heading off to their lunch break, leaving me and Annalise alone.
“You were one hundred percent sober, and I know you wanted it as much as I did.”
She blows air out of her cheeks, rolling her eyes. “Okay, Kamado. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Stepping closer, I take her hand in mine, slowly tracing circles on her palm. “You don’t have to pretend like you didn’t enjoy feeling me between your legs.”
She parts her lips slightly, an insatiable gleam igniting in her eyes.
“How about we pick up where we left off?” I whisper, brushing my lips against her ear. “We can go to your boss’s office, and I’ll bend you over her desk and fuck you just like you’ve been wanting me to.”
The ache I have for her is unbearable. I need her now.
Suddenly, she shoves me off of her and the moment is over. “You are fucking unbelievable!”
I stare at her, thrown off by the sudden shift in her mood.
“You think you can waltz back into my life and pretend like nothing ever happened?” she snaps.
“What are you talking about? You’re the one sending all these mixed signals! And now you’re getting mad at me for what?” I drag my hand through my hair, the frustration boiling over. “You are fucking impossible.”
“What happened last weekend shouldn’t have happened,” she says, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “And what happened now… That was a mistake. A lapse in judgment.” She lets out a short, bitter laugh. “Thank God I came to my senses before it went further.”
“Why do you keep lying to yourself, Annalise?”
“I’m not. I hate you. And I will always hate you. I’ll never forgive you for what you did.”
Before I can reply, the elevator door slides open and Ivy walks through.
“Girl, I’ve been waiting down there for ten minutes. Everything okay?” Ivy asks, her eyes flicking between us.
“Sorry! Veronica needed me to answer some emails,” Annalise says, pushing her purse straps over her shoulder. “Let’s go.”
She walks off to the elevator with Ivy, leaving me behind in the cold, empty office with a hole in my heart.