Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
annalise
FOUR YEARS AGO
“Hey, gorgeous!” Maddox's grin lights up my phone screen. He’s lying in bed wearing a Millennium University hoodie, black hair falling over his forehead in messy waves.
Our freshmen year of college has been extremely hectic, and we’ve only been able to see each other twice since the semester started.
Even though some of our calls don’t last long because we’re both too exhausted from a long day, we make an effort to FaceTime each other every night.
“Hey, Maddy Bear. I have some bad news.”
Maddox sits up straight, brows knitting together. “What is it? Is everything okay?”
“I won’t be able to make it next weekend,” I say, sorrow lacing my voice. “I have a major project due and I’m already so behind.”
His expression shifts into a frown. “So we have to spend our three-year anniversary apart?”
“I’m sorry, babe. This project is a major part of my grade.”
“It’s okay… I understand.” He releases a sigh, twisting the drawstrings of his hoodie around his fingers.
The pained look in Maddox’s eyes tugs at my heartstrings and almost makes me ruin my plan.
I don’t actually have a project due, and I’m still planning on flying to Chicago to celebrate our anniversary.
It’s killing me to keep this from him, but seeing his reaction when I surprise him will be worth it.
“Even though we don’t get to spend our anniversary together, we’ll have plenty more to look forward to. You’re stuck with me for a lifetime.” He gives me a wink, and that adorable dimpled smile returns.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smile softly, fingertips hovering over the screen as if I could reach through it and touch him.
Many people said that we’re too young to know what “true love” is, and that we wouldn’t last after high school. But they don’t understand the magnitude of what we feel for each other. This isn’t just a phase. Maddox is my soulmate—the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.
“I wish I could come to you, but I have a game that Friday.”
“I guess we’ll have to wait until winter break to see each other…” I put on my best sad face, trying my hardest not to break character.
I can barely contain my excitement. We haven’t seen each other for nearly two months, and I’ve been counting down the days until I get to hold him in my arms and kiss that handsome face.
“Going another month without seeing you…” he whispers, his voice strained. “I don’t know if I can do it. I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too, Maddox,” I murmur.
“Why don’t we take a trip during winter break?” he asks, his voice bubbling with excitement. “We can make it a late anniversary celebration!”
“That sounds perfect! Since our finals end the first week of December, we can go somewhere the following week.”
“That’s a great plan. Where do you want to go, my love?”
“Hmm… Let’s go somewhere warm. I’m sick of the cold.”
“Tell me about it.” He nods. “This snow is too much. I miss California’s weather.”
“How about Hawaii? I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“Let’s do it. That’s one of my top travel destinations, too.” He beams. “I’ll start looking at flights soon!”
“Maddox is gonna be so happy to see you.” Andrés pulls out the keys to the apartment he shares with Maddox and hands them to me.
He’s been in on my plan for a few weeks now. After I landed in Chicago, I met up with him at his girlfriend Katie’s apartment.
“I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees me,” I say, a rush of excitement flooding my chest.
“He’s been bummed out all week. He couldn’t even enjoy the party we had at our place after the game.”
“Aw, my poor Maddy Bear.”
Andrés wrinkles his nose in disgust. “That nickname is so freaking cringey.”
“He loves it.”
“Of course he does,” he says with an eye roll. “Anyways, I’m staying at Katie’s this weekend, so you two have the whole place to yourself. But please do not have sex in my bedroom.”
“Sorry, no promises there,” I tease, shrugging my shoulders.
He glares at me and holds his hand out. “Alright, give me my keys back. You and Maddox can stay at a hotel.”
“I’m kidding. Thanks for helping me orchestrate this.”
“No problem.” He nods. “I hope you have a great anniversary!”
I quietly open the door to Maddox’s apartment, careful not to wake him up. There are empty liquor bottles all over the kitchen counter and red cups scattered throughout the apartment.
I tidy up the kitchen, wiping down the counter before setting a gift bag on top.
Inside is a scarf and beanie I spent hours knitting, each stitch woven with care.
Tucked beside them is a glass jar packed with handwritten notes folded into origami hearts.
I’ve filled them with reasons why I love him, and lyrics from songs that say everything I can’t always put into words.
As I’m writing a heartfelt note in the anniversary card I picked up from the store, the door to his bedroom creaks open.
Instead of Maddox, out walks Charlotte—dressed in his hoodie and sweatpants.
My stomach clenches, nausea rising like waves.
She stops in her tracks, letting out a startled gasp.
“W-what are y-you doing h-here?” I’m shaking so hard I can barely speak.
“Wait. You and Maddox are still together?” she asks.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” I snap, my teeth clenched.
Charlotte widens her pale blue eyes, clapping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God! I feel awful. If I would’ve known, I never would’ve…”
My grip tightens around the pen until the plastic gives with a sharp crack. “What happened?”
Charlotte opens her mouth and says words that flip my world upside down, “We slept together last night.”
Anger courses through me as tears spill from my eyes. They splatter onto the card, smudging the ink and distorting the message I’d poured my heart into writing.
“During the party, he told me that you two broke up,” she continues.
“He flirted with me all night. If I had known he was lying, I would’ve never done that…
I’m so sorry, Annalise. You deserve better.
” She walks up to me, placing a hand on my back in a failed attempt to comfort me before walking out the door.
I sink to the ground, painful sobs wracking through my body. A black hole opens inside my chest, swallowing my heart.
I feel so betrayed. It makes me question whether he’s cheated on me during the entirety of our relationship. Here I thought I had found my Prince Charming and the love of my life, but everything has been a fucking lie.
Am I not good enough?
Am I not worthy of love?
“Annalise! You’re here!” Maddox’s voice rings out, bright and full of surprise.
But his smile falters when he sees the state I’m in. “Wait. What’s the matter?”
When I don’t answer, he continues. “Babe, look at me. Tell me what’s going on.” He crouches down in front of me, reaching for my chin, but I flinch—recoiling from his touch.
“How could you? And on our anniversary, too…” I say through choked tears.
“What?” His brows draw tight. “What are you talking about?”
Pushing him off of me, I get up and storm out of his apartment.
“Annalise! Wait!” he calls out.
Snow falls from the sky, blanketing the ground in a thick, powdery layer. The frigid air slices through my lungs with every breath as I dash across the street to Millennium Park.
Maddox quickly catches up with me, reaching for my hand and holding it tightly as concern flickers in his deep-brown eyes.
Or is it guilt behind treacherous eyes?
“Annalise, please come back inside. It’s freezing out here.”
I yank my hand away, freeing myself from his hold. “Get away from me! I can’t believe you cheated on me, you piece of shit!”
He stares at me, baffled. “What? Where is this coming from?”
“Oh, don’t you dare try to deny it!” I snap. “I saw Charlotte come out of your bedroom! She told me that you were flirting with her all night long and that you said we broke up.”
“What the fuck? I got wasted last night, but I sure as hell would never say that. Are you seriously going to believe her over me?”
“She came out of your fucking bedroom, Maddox! Wearing your clothes! What more proof do I need?”
Maddox tucks my hair behind my ear and swipes my tears with his thumb. “I swear, I would never do anything to hurt you.” He leans forward, touching his forehead to mine. “I love you more than anything in the world. I would never give up what we have.”
I want to believe him. I want to believe that what he feels for me is real. That he is the person I am destined to spend eternity with.
But my mind floods with vivid images of Maddox and Charlotte’s naked bodies entwined together in bed, igniting a rage within me like flowing lava. Each moment I envision them together deepens my sense of betrayal.
I step away from him, creating a distance between us that’s more than just physical. I won’t allow myself to be weak again.
“You know, back then I kept rejecting you because I heard you had a reputation for being a player. But something told me there was more to you. That I should take a chance on you and not listen to what everyone else was saying. I thought maybe you just hadn’t found a girl that was worth committing to, but I was clearly wrong,” I shake my head as the tears continue to fall down my cheeks.
“You’ll never change and will always be a player.
I bet you were unfaithful throughout our whole relationship. ”
“Do you really think that?” Maddox asks, his eyes searching mine.
“I do,” I reply without hesitation.
His shoulders sag, tears trickling down his cheeks.
“How could you think so low of me, Annalise? If it were any other girl, I would’ve given up after being rejected the first time.
You are the first girl I let myself be completely vulnerable with,” he says, his voice cracking.
“I’d never been in love before I met you. ”
“Stop saying you love me!” I snap. “You clearly don’t have a clue what it means to love someone. The only person you’re capable of loving is yourself.”
A wave of hurt clouds his face, but I couldn’t care less. I know that it’s yet another act of deception crafted to manipulate my feelings.
“How could you say I never loved you? Charlotte and I only slept together once in high school, and it happened way before you and I got together. I promise I haven’t been with anyone but you. You are the only one I want, Rosie.”
“Enough!” I shout, tears searing my cheeks. “I’m sick of your lies! You’re exactly like my father.”
Maddox stares back at me in disbelief, my last words cutting him deep.
“I don’t want to see you ever again! We’re done.”
I turn on my heel to walk away, but he catches me, pulling me back into his arms. He leans down, his forehead pressed to my chest as a broken sob escapes him.
“Annalise, please don’t walk away from us,” he begs.
“I need you in my life. I love you so much.” He reaches between us and gently grabs the dainty gold rose dangling from my neck, the gift he bought me for our one-year anniversary.
“The necklace you’re wearing symbolizes my eternal love for you. Doesn't that mean something?”
“You can have the stupid necklace!” I unclasp it, tossing it into the snow. “It means nothing to me. You mean nothing to me.”
He kneels to the ground, collecting the necklace and clutching it tightly, his cries echoing through the park.
“Have a nice life, Maddox,” I spit.
As I turn my back to him, an icy chill wraps around my heart. Not only am I leaving him behind, but the remnants of my former self—the naive girl who believes in soulmates and so foolishly fell in love.