Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
maddox
FOUR YEARS AGO
“Dude, why do you look so bummed? We just won a big game,” Andrés says as he passes me another shot. We blew North Carolina State out of the water tonight and are throwing a party at our apartment to celebrate.
“Tomorrow is my three-year anniversary with Annalise and we’re spending it apart.” I tip my head back, downing the shot. “I had the whole weekend planned out for us, but she said she had too many projects to catch up on. I won’t be able to see her for another month.”
“I’m sorry, man. Long distance must be so hard,” he says softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I definitely wouldn’t be able to survive if I went that long without seeing Katie.”
“I’m dying, man. I hate being away from her. We went from seeing each other every day to only once a month, if that.”
If it weren’t for my father, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. The fact that I decided to pursue a career in basketball didn’t sit well with him. During my senior year of high school, he kept pushing me to major in business, but I refused.
That’s when he gave me an ultimatum—if I wanted to play college ball, I had to secure a full-ride scholarship, or he’d cut me off entirely. Millennium University was the only school that came through with the offer so, reluctantly, I accepted.
I had dreamed of living in New York with her—riding the subway, going to Broadway shows, and building a life together. Instead, I’m stuck in Chicago, hundreds of miles away, seeing her only through a screen for barely an hour a day. It’s not what I imagined at all.
“Coach said NBA scouts are attending the next game.” Andrés shifts the conversation in an attempt to cheer me up. “It’ll be your time to shine. Maybe you’ll get drafted to New York. That way, you wouldn’t have to be apart from her.”
“I hope so. I’m so ready to get out of Chicago.”
“Hey, Chicago isn’t so bad. You wouldn’t have met me if you went to college elsewhere. And you gotta admit”—he nudges his shoulder against mine, his mouth lifting into a smile—“I’m pretty awesome.”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “I guess.”
“Come on, I need to redeem myself in beer pong,” he says, pulling me away from the corner. “I made the mistake of partnering up with Harrison and we got our asses handed to us.”
The last thing I remember is winning a beer pong game with Andrés. Everything after that is a blur.
“Stop saying you love me!” Annalise shouts. “You clearly don’t have a clue what it means to love someone. The only person you’re capable of loving is yourself.”
“How could you say I never loved you? Charlotte and I only slept together once in high school, and it happened way before you and I got together. I promise I haven’t been with anyone but you. You are the only one I want, Rosie.”
I’ve done everything in my power to make her feel loved, to make her feel special. My words and actions were wasted for her to say that I don’t love her and for her to think that I would cheat on her.
“Enough! I’m sick of your lies!” she shouts, tears falling from her cheeks. “You’re exactly like my father!”
An overwhelming heaviness settles in my chest. Her father—the man who put her and her family through so much—is the worst possible person she can compare me to. It’s like a gut punch to know that she can even put me in the same category as someone like him.
How could she think that I would ever hurt her like that? I know the pain she lived through. I know how much it affected her. She has to know that I would never do that to her.
She has to…
With my heart left bleeding out on the sidewalk, I open up my apartment door to find Andrés in the kitchen ransacking the drawer.
“Sorry, I misplaced my wallet. I swear I’ll leave as soon as I find it.”
I mumble my acknowledgement, not caring enough to enunciate.
He shifts his attention to me, noticing my flushed face and bloodshot eyes. “Dude, are you good? Where’s Annalise? I was almost scared to come home because I didn’t wanna walk in on y’all banging in the kitchen.” He lets out a laugh.
I grab the gift bag Annalise left for me and bring it to the couch. Reaching inside, I pull out the contents—a jar full of origami hearts and a hand-knit beanie and scarf.
Twisting the jar open, I pluck out one of the paper hearts and open it.
“Earth to Maddox,” he says, waving his hand in front of my eyes that are still locked on the small piece of paper.
“Annalise broke up with me.” My voice cracks, tears falling from my cheeks and onto the paper. “She hates me. I think I lost her forever.”
“Wait, what? I don’t understand.” His brows furrow, lips parting in disbelief. “She flew all this way to see you. What happened?” He shuts the drawer and slides onto the couch.
“Apparently when she showed up, Charlotte came out of my room wearing my clothes. She accused me of cheating on her. I don’t even know what the fuck she was doing in my room last night. Please tell me there’s someone who can vouch that I didn’t sleep with Charlotte.”
He sighs. “I wish I could tell you, man. I left with Katie after we played beer pong, so I don’t know what happened after that.
” He shakes his head, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“This has to be a misunderstanding. I know you’re not capable of doing something like that. Maybe you should go talk to Charlotte.”
After I pull myself together enough to be seen in public, I barge though the girls’ dormitory and demand someone to tell me where Charlotte’s room is.
“She’s in room 102.” A short brown-haired girl points to the hall on the left.
I stomp down the hall, avoiding everyone’s stares as I locate her room. “Charlotte, open up the fucking door!” I yell, pounding the door with my fist.
The door swings open and Charlotte stands there with a towel slung across her shoulder and a bag of toiletries in her hand. “Oh, hey, babe. I was about to hop in the shower.” She leans into me, placing her hand on my chest. “You’re more than welcome to join me if you’d like.”
I shove her off of me. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
She scrunches her brows. “What are you talking about?”
“Annalise broke up with me because of you! She thinks I cheated on her. You destroyed our relationship!”
“I didn’t know you were still together, I swear!” Charlotte throws her hands up in defense. “I was shocked when I saw her. You told me you broke up with her before we slept together.”
“Stop lying!” I snap. “She’s the love of my life. I would never do that to her.”
“Maddy Bear, why would I ever lie to you?” she says, placing her hand on my cheek.
Who the hell does she think she is? Calling me by the nickname Annalise gave me—which is something I’ll probably never hear again.
“Don’t fucking call me that!” I shout, swiping her hand away.
“Why are you being such a jerk? You were so loving and tender last night.”
“Tell me the truth, Charlotte!” I bang my fist on the door, the impact making her flinch and jump back. “Why the fuck were you in my room last night? And why were you wearing my clothes?”
She rolls her eyes. “I told you already. We slept together. You ripped off my clothes and I needed something to wear, so you gave me yours.”
“You’re lying.” I shake my head. “I would never do that to her. I love her too much.”
“You really don’t remember what happened?” she says, lifting her eyes to mine.
“I was fucked up, Charlotte. I don’t remember jack shit.”
She pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Okay, so I might have made up the part about you telling me you broke up with Annalise…”
I knew it. I knew I didn’t sleep with her.
“But I didn’t lie about us having sex. I didn’t want you thinking less of me for sleeping with you while knowing you were still with Annalise. I’ve been in love with you since high school. What we had back then was more than just a fling to me.”
All the air leaves my lungs. The room starts spinning. Charlotte continues talking but I can’t hear a word she’s saying.
Fuck. Did I sleep with her last night? Did I mistake her for Annalise?
No—this can’t be true. Charlotte can’t be trusted. I have to find out the truth.
In the days that followed, I combed through social media posts and tried to make a list of everyone who attended the party.
It was impossible to find out who all was there because there were so many people who came and went at different times.
I know Annalise wouldn’t believe my word alone, so I was desperate to find proof that Charlotte was lying.
I contacted everyone I could, asking if they saw me interact with Charlotte or if they saw her go into my bedroom. But no one seems to know a thing. I feel so helpless.
I call Annalise’s cell, hoping this time I hear her voice on the end. But, just like the other hundreds of times I’ve called, it goes straight to voicemail.
It’s been fourteen days since she left me. Fourteen days since my whole world came crashing down.
I’ve spent the last few days scrolling through pictures of us and replaying old videos. Knowing that this is all I have left of her only makes me feel worse. I’ll never be able to hold her again or kiss those soft lips. I’ll never be able to hear her laugh or hear her tell me she loves me.
We were supposed to build a life together. We were supposed to have a future. But it was all ripped away in the blink of an eye.
No. I refuse to believe this is the end for us. I refuse to give up on us so easily.
Sitting here wallowing in my misery isn’t doing me any good. If she’s not going to answer my calls, then I’ll fly to her and make her talk to me.
Grabbing my phone, I book the first flight to New York. It costs triple the amount it normally would, but I don’t give a shit.
I rummage through my dresser, pulling out clothes and packing them inside my duffle bag. The flight is in a few hours, so I have to haul ass if I want to make it on time.
Andrés stands in my doorway, eyeing the piles of clothes scattered all over my bedroom. “Dude, where are you going? We have a game tonight.”
“I’m going to New York. I have to see Annalise. I miss her so fucking much, it hurts.”
I pull a coat off of my hanger and try to stuff it in my bag, but Andrés grabs my arm. “NBA scouts will be at tonight’s game, remember?”
Shaking him off of me, I shout, “I don’t fucking care! I need to get her back. Nothing else matters if she’s not in my life.”
Andrés shakes his head, disappointment written on his face. “You’re missing out on your chance to get into the NBA, Maddox. You’ve been working so hard for this. Don’t throw it away.”
Zipping up my duffle bag, I sling it over my shoulder and push past him.
Making it to the NBA means fucking nothing to me if I don’t have her by my side.
I knock on Annalise’s apartment door, hoping she’s home. The door creaks open and I’m greeted by Mazikeen, her hazel eyes filled with malice.
“What the fuck are you doing here, asshole?”
“Is Annalise home?” I ask, trying to peek around her.
“Nope,” she replies, crossing her arms. “She’s studying at the library.”
“I’ll wait until she comes home then,” I say, trying to step into the apartment.
She glowers at me, exhaling through her nose. “You really think showing up here will fix what you did? You cheated on her, you pig. I hate the fact that I’ve been right about you all along.”
Heat flushes my cheeks and all the blood rushes to my ears.
There’s nothing I hate more than when people make assumptions about me.
“You know nothing about me. You never even made the effort to try and get to know me when I was with Annalise. All you ever did was judge me for who I was in the past.”
“The past?” She laughs in disbelief. “You’re obviously still the same person! You wasted your time coming here.”
“Mazi, let me talk to him.” Annalise comes up from behind Mazikeen, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Her nose is red and her eyes are swollen from crying. My heart sinks knowing that it must be because of me. I’m supposed to be the one wiping her tears away, not the one causing them.
Dropping my bag on the floor, I pull her to my chest. Her body stiffens against me, her arms hanging at her sides.
“Oh, Rosie. I missed you so much. I need you in my life. I can’t do this without you.
” I bury my face in her hair as tears stream down my face.
“You are the love of my life. My soulmate. I would never throw that all away for Charlotte. For fucking anyone. You have to believe me.” I reach out to cup her cheeks and stare deeply into her eyes—into the windows of her soul.
The soul that is a part of my own. “I love you so fucking much. I’ll transfer schools to be with you, if that’s what it takes. ”
She shoves her hands inside the pocket of her hoodie, chewing on her bottom lip. “But your basketball scholarship—”
“I don’t care,” I say, shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter to me. None of that matters if you’re not in my life.”
She swallows, staring back at me. “Maddox, I—”
“Don’t do it, Annalise,” Mazikeen cuts in. “Stay strong. He’ll just keep trying to manipulate you.”
I scrub my hand down my face. “Will you just shut up and let her talk?”
Her eyes blaze with fury. “What the fuck did you say to me, asshole? You really have a death wish, don’t you?”
Ignoring her, I turn my attention back to Annalise, lacing her fingers with mine. “Come on, Annalise. Can you please give our relationship another chance?”
Annalise pulls her hands from mine, turning away from me. “Just give it up, Maddox. There will never be an us again.”
“Look me in the eyes, then. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want to be with me. Tell me you don’t love me anymore,” I say, my voice shaking.
Squaring her shoulders, she lifts her eyes to mine. I don’t recognize the empty look staring back at me.
“I don’t love you anymore, Maddox. We’re over. You need to move on with your life.”
And just like that, my world ends once again.
We are over for good. My heart stops beating, and there is no way I can be revived again. Swallowing down the last of my withered pride, I give her a single nod.
“Then I’ll leave you alone.” I pick up my bag and sling it over my shoulder. “I will always love you, Annalise. No matter how much time passes, I will always love you.”
I walk out her apartment hollowed out, an empty shell of who I was. Every hope, every dream I had with her shatters inside me. I did everything in my power to make her feel loved, but I clearly failed since she questioned my loyalty. I put my all into her and it wasn’t enough.
From this day forth, I swear I will never fall in love again or get into a relationship. What’s the fucking point? I’ll just end up getting my heart broken.