Extended Epilogue
Donna
Day of the wedding
I can’t believe my little girl is getting married today.
The one who made me a mother, who has endured so much more than any child should have, and who sacrificed so much that it hurts me to think about.
I know I can’t change the past, but I sure as hell made sure to take accountability for my actions and make it up to her in every way possible.
Sitting in the bridal suite with her and her friends while they finish up getting ready brings a wave of melancholiness over me.
I know Spencer will take such amazing care of her and love her deeply, but I think back on all the time we had and lost, the adventures we never got to go on, and the completely carefree childhood she should have had.
The small moments of quiet in the early morning, while we sat on the couch, watched cartoons, and ate Frosted Flakes as the summer sun began to creep through the windows.
The first time she came to the hospital with my parents and held her new baby sister.
“I’m gonna step out for a second, sweet pea, and I’ll be right back.
” Choking back the tears that threaten to fall, I place a quick kiss on Allie’s cheek and head outside.
The crisp winter air quickly settled over me like a frosted blanket, and I took in long, slow breaths to compose myself.
It was bittersweet seeing her have her big day without her grandparents here, but I knew they were still present in their own way.
They would have loved Spencer. Lord knows they didn’t love the man I married, and I can’t exactly blame them.
They did everything they could to try to talk me out of it, but I was doing what I thought was best at the time, and I was too stubborn to listen to reason. Silly me.
Pushing the memories of my own awful wedding from my mind, I focused on my baby girl’s.
Today was all about her, and I knew her marriage was going to be worlds different from mine.
She found her soulmate, and I let mine walk away over thirty years ago.
Funny how life works, isn’t it? One minute you're nineteen, and you think you know it all, and the next you're left heartbroken on your bathroom floor. Shaking my head clear, I made rounds to the boys’ area to make sure they’re sticking to the schedule and not falling behind, and then headed to the front to make sure the guest book and flowers are all in place.
“Everything is going to be perfect for her. She deserves this beautiful day without anything happening,” I mumbled to myself as I readjusted some of the pictures set out on the table and moved the guest book.
“You know, I’ve heard talking to yourself is a sign of going crazy,” a deep voice boomed from behind me, and I went rigid.
Thirty years later, and I would know that voice anywhere.
Sure, it had deepened over the years, but it was still him.
Slowly turning around toward the ghost of my past, I’m met with those beautiful green eyes that have haunted my dreams since the day he left on that bus.
“You.” That was all I could manage to get out. How is he here? I must be dreaming, surely.
“Me.” He took a tentative step toward me, and I stood frozen. All the anger I had built up, the words I always swore I’d yell, evaporate as I take in the one and only man I ever truly loved.
Wylder Ledger Hayes.
“Wylder, what are you doing here? How are you here? What the hell do you think you’re doing?” My brain finally caught up as I rushed toward him and jabbed my finger in his face. How dare he show up on today of all days?
“You haven’t changed a bit, have you, Rebel? Still fiery as ever, I see.” That mischievous glint was still there as he used that old nickname so freely.
“Oh, do you have some balls on you? Thirty years and that’s all you have to say?” Wylder stood there, unmoving, and let me continue to jab my finger into his chest. “Well! Answer me, you son of a bitch.” Feeling my anger slowly start to recede, I let my gaze travel over him.
His black hair was now salt-and-peppered, and a light beard dusted his sharp jaw.
Instead of his long, wild, curly hair, it was cut close to his head in a perfectly slicked-back style to keep those curls I always loved in place.
He still towered over me and guessed he was about six foot five now compared to my five foot eight.
I also noticed he was in a full suit, too, which was odd, because why would he be in a suit?
“I’m sorry, Donna. For all of it. I never meant to hurt you.” He slowly grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer, settling my hand on his chest. His very broad and muscular chest.
“What are you doing here, Wylder?” I asked, exasperated already.
“My son’s best friend invited me, but now I’m wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have reached out.
I’m sorry, I was nervous, and I didn’t want to scare you, but I also wanted to see you, Donna.
I've always been selfish when it comes to you.” Son.
Hearing that is like a punch to the gut.
He grew up, had a family, and got married.
The way he’s holding me close is not the way a married man should be touching someone.
The Wylder I knew was better than that. Ripping my hand from his, I took several steps back, putting some much-needed distance between us.
“You can’t touch me like that, and say things like that if you’re married, Wylder. Not after all this time. Who is your son?”
“Jacob is. He and Spencer have been friends since Jacob started college, and they stayed friends even when Spencer graduated. I was more than thrilled when I heard he was getting married. Once I figured out she was your daughter, I prayed for him for having a Roberts as a wife, and also congratulated him because there’s no one who loves more fiercely.
” He closed the distance between us, and I tilted my head back to look into his eyes.
“I’m also not married, Rebel. Never have been.
I knew that there was only ever one woman I wanted to marry, and I fucked it up.
I’m hoping maybe I’ve been granted a chance to make it right.
” I swallowed, unable to think clearly with so many emotions raging a war inside my head.
“I—Riot, I can’t do this right now. My daughter is getting married, and I don’t want any trouble today.
Do you understand me? Today has to be perfect; she deserves it so much.
She’s endured too much for someone her age, and I won’t fail her.
Not again.” I cursed myself for accidentally letting his old nickname slip, and for giving anything away about what hell we went through.
He doesn’t have that privilege yet, not until he earns my trust. If I even decide to let him back.
Wylder, however, loved it and flashed me with that smile that had every woman falling over themselves to see him back then. I was just the lucky one who caught his attention and his heart, though.
“Don’t worry, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. Scouts honor.”
I let out a snort. “You’ve never been a scout, and your best behavior is still pretty bad, rockstar.”
“Hey, a person can change, you know?” Holding his hands up in surrender, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and smile at him.
“I pinky swear I will be the best behaved, as long as you promise to save a dance for me later.” He stuck out his pinky, waiting for me to make a deal.
His eyes danced with mischief and fire like they always did when we were alone or when he was on stage.
“If one toe steps even remotely out of line, Wylder Ledger Hayes, you’re out of here, got it?” Quirking a brow at him, I slowly raised my hand to his.
“You got yourself a deal, Rebel.” Intertwining our pinkies, he leaned in to kiss his thumb like we used to. That small action alone set off a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.
I’m too damn old to be getting butterflies.
Leaning in to kiss the pad of my thumb, I looked deep into those green eyes he had locked onto me.
They remind me of a forest when it rains.
The shades of green so deep, vibrant, and easy to get lost in.
Pulling my hand away and letting it fall limp at my side, I took him in again for a moment longer.
“I have to go now. Please just behave, okay?” Letting out a breath, I went to walk past him, and he shot out and quickly grabbed my hand, stopping me next to him.
He moved his hand to face and cupped my cheek, and I instinctively turned my face toward his palm.
He tilted my head up, forcing me to meet his gaze once more.
“I am sorry, Donna. I was young and stupid and made a lot of reckless mistakes and decisions. You were never one of them. Not one moment with you was, but leaving you was my biggest regret and failure. Please, save me that dance so I can talk to you. I know I don’t deserve even this time you’ve given me so far, and make no doubt I know you’ve allowed it because otherwise you would have slapped me and left me standing here like I deserve.
But if you’re willing, I’d like a little more.
” Words wouldn’t come out, so I simply nodded my head at him.
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine, letting a breath out as he did.
“Thank you, Donna. I know I don’t deserve it, but thank you.
Go finish helping Allie get ready, and I’ll see you then.
” Our faces were so close now that I could feel his lips and breath against me as he talked.
There was a ghost of a kiss on my forehead, and when he stepped back, I missed the warmth of his body.
Before I could make any decisions I’d regret later, I ran back to the bridal suite to finish helping my daughter on her big day, pushing all thoughts of him aside.