Chapter 12 #2
Moaning, Abby dropped her face into her hands. “Shoot me right now.”
“Get out the baby book,” Linda said. “First word ‘piehole.’”
More moaning from Abby. “How am I going to handle five of them?”
“I’d recommend keeping them away from these people,” Grace said. “They seem to be the source of all the trouble.”
“Yes!” Abby said. “I’ve never used that expression in my life until I was married to Adam McCarthy, and he drove me to it.”
“You love my piehole,” Adam said. “I can list numerous examples when—”
Abby’s hand over his mouth shut him down. For the moment, anyway.
“Back to my vasectomy,” Mac said, appreciative of his family taking his mind off his worries for a few minutes.
“We’ve fully covered that topic, son,” Big Mac said. “It’s no big deal. One quick pinch, a little tugging, and it’s over in fifteen minutes.”
“That one quick pinch is a shot to the ball sack, Dad.”
Big Mac waved a dismissive hand. “It’s over in a second.”
Mac hoped he didn’t pass out during that one second.
The thought of a needle in the balls had kept him awake at night for weeks now.
More than once, he’d broken into a cold sweat as he imagined the moment needle met flesh.
He wasn’t afraid of any other part of this procedure, but that shot was the thing of nightmares.
As they left, each of his family members hugged him and wished him—and his package—well in the morning.
He was glad to entertain them, he thought, as he locked the doors, finished cleaning up, shut off the lights and headed upstairs.
Maddie was emerging from the nursery they had made for the twins in the smallest of the bedrooms. She placed a finger over her lips and pointed to their bedroom.
He followed her in and closed the door. Each of the kids’ rooms had monitors so they could hear anyone who woke in the night—and someone always woke in the night. Since the twins had joined them, it wasn’t unusual for everyone to wake during the night when the babies were crying.
Good times.
The best of times.
After the first three—and after losing Connor before he was born—Mac knew the craziness wouldn’t last forever, and since the twins were the last of their babies, he’d decided to relax and enjoy the chaos. Losing Connor had given him perspective he wouldn’t have had otherwise.
“Why the pensive expression?” Maddie asked when he stood next to her in the bathroom to brush his teeth. “You can’t be seriously upset about the vasectomy.”
“I’m not.”
“Then why the pensiveness?”
“I was thinking about Connor and how much I wish he was here with us.”
“I do, too,” she said on a sigh.
Mac knew better than anyone how deeply she’d grieved the loss of their unborn son.
“Even with all the chaos and lack of sleep,” Maddie said, “I wouldn’t trade any of it.”
“Me either. We know all too well what the alternative to chaos is.”
“Yeah, for sure.”
“And you’re a hundred percent positive we’re done having kids?”
She glared at him, attempting a sinister look that failed miserably. “I am one thousand percent positive I’m done having kids.”
“If you’re sure, then.”
“Mac! You can’t possibly be having second thoughts about the vasectomy.”
He was having second, third, fourth and one hundredth thoughts about the vasectomy. “Not about that. Just whether we’re sure we’re done. What if we get a hankering for more babies in a year or two?”
“I’ll find someone else to father them if that happens.”
He gave her his darkest scowl. “That’s not funny, Madeline.”
“Neither is you thinking I might want more than five children! We’re going to have ten years of teenagers! I am done, done, done!”
“So, what you’re saying, is that you’re sure about this.”
She rolled her eyes and went to get into bed.
He was right behind her.
Even when she was exasperated with him, which was most of the time, she still curled up to him in bed every night, resting her head on his chest while he wrapped his arms around her. “How about one final visit with my boys when they’re still packing a punch?”
“Absolutely not. With my luck, I’d get pregnant with triplets.”
“You can’t get pregnant again yet.”
“Yes, I can. Besides, it hasn’t been six weeks, and I’m still sore as hell from the twins. So put that thing away, cowboy.”
“He’s very sad that no one is paying homage to him in his time of need.”
Maddie lost it laughing. “Do you hear yourself?”
“I’m advocating for someone who has no voice of his own.”
“You’ve lost what was left of your mind.”
“I’m losing what was left of my fertility, which isn’t fair when you get to keep yours.”
“I have no plans to ever use that equipment again.”
“But you get to keep it.”
“Stop acting like you’re having your dick chopped off.”
Recoiling, Mac covered his package with his hand. “How can you even say such a thing?”
Maddie laughed. “You’re such a baby.”
“We’re in the biggest fight ever right now.”
Maddie ran her hand over his chest and down to push his hand out of the way so she could get to his insulted member, which hardened immediately. “It seems you’re the only one who’s mad at me.”
“He’s a slut.”
“He is rather easy.”
“Only when you’re around.”
“Sure. That’s the only time he ever stands up and takes notice of anything.”
It’d been so long since they’d done anything that he was immediately on the verge of coming, and she’d barely touched him. “You’re the only one he notices.”
“I want him to know how much I appreciate the beautiful babies he’s given me. Will you let him know that?”
“I’ll be sure to tell him as long as you don’t stop—” He gasped when she squeezed him, and then he flooded her hand with his release, his eyes rolling back in his head from the overwhelming pleasure.
“I’m sorry I can’t give him a proper sendoff. Hopefully, that will suffice.”
“Yeah, that suffices. As soon as my heart stops pounding, I’ll get a towel.” He took another thirty seconds to get himself together before he got up to retrieve a towel that he used to wipe her hand clean. Then he kissed the back of it. “I love you, even when you’re mean to me.”
Smiling, she said, “I love you, too, and I appreciate you taking one for the team tomorrow.”
“Will you nurse me while I convalesce?”
He could tell she was trying not to roll her eyes again. “Of course I will.”
“Did you know it takes twenty ejaculations after a vasectomy for all the baby-making boys to go away?”
“Twenty, huh?”
“That’s what they say. You’re going to have to help me with that if you want to be absolutely sure there won’t be any more babies.”
She rolled her eyes to high heaven. “I’ll jack you fifty times if that’s what it takes to make sure there’re no more babies.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
Maddie laughed so hard, she had tears in her eyes. “Go to sleep, you fool.”