Chapter 17
Jace dropped that bomb and walked away to punch her order into the computer.
“Girlfriend’s been holding out on me,” Piper Bennett whispered to her. “You and sexy Jace the bartender. Making some progress, huh?”
Cindy shrugged, even as her entire system went haywire over his not-so-subtle comment. “We’re friends. And roommates.”
“Since when?”
“He moved in earlier this week.”
“Convenient. He’s not only sexy, but he’s nice, too. Good for you.”
“We’ll see.”
“I like you two together. It works for me.”
“As long as it works for you,” Cindy said, laughing. “What’s going on with your friend Jack?” Piper had engaged in a summer-long flirtation with Jack Downing, one of the two state troopers stationed on the island.
Piper groaned. “He’s been on the mainland for two weeks. Supposedly, he’s coming back next week, but I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“We’ve texted a few times, but nothing major. I’m starting to wonder if the thing between us was one-sided.”
“It wasn’t. I’ve seen you two together. He’s into you, too.”
“You really think so?”
“I do. He never takes his eyes off you.”
“Kinda like someone else we know with you.” Piper used her chin to point to Jace. “He’s always got eyes on you.”
“Does he?”
“Yes,” Piper said, laughing, “and you know it.”
“He gets me all flustered.”
“That’s a good place to start.”
“If you say so. What’s your plan when Jack gets back to the island?”
Piper shrugged. “I have no plan. Part of me wants to just skip the whole thing. I’m so over guys.” Weeks ago, she’d confided to Cindy about how her fiancé had called off their wedding and dumped her and how she’d been attacked by a guy she met on the island earlier in the summer.
“You can’t let a few bad apples ruin the entire barrel for you, as my grandmother would say. Jack is a good guy. He’s nothing like the others.”
“And I know that, but I have zero energy to put toward anything with him.”
“Because he’s not here. You might find some energy when he gets back.”
“Eh, we’ll see. I’m not counting any chickens where he’s concerned. In other news, I heard yesterday that the guy who assaulted me pleaded guilty to a felony charge, so I won’t have to testify against him. That’s a huge relief.”
“I’m so glad it worked out that way.”
“Me, too. Your sister-in-law, Laura, has been such a great friend to me through all of it, from the day it happened.”
“She’s the best.”
“Yes, she is. I’m thankful that one of the worst days ever brought me to her and a job at the Surf.”
“She’s thrilled to have you. She’s told me more than once what a huge help to her you were during the busy season.”
“She’s got a lot on her plate running the hotel with three little ones.”
“And yet, she makes it all look so effortless,” Cindy said, filled with admiration for Owen’s wife. “I’m glad we’ll get to work together a little in the off-season.”
“Me, too! She told me you’re coming over to help out once in a while.” She’d taken Laura’s offer to help change linens for the winter and other tasks that needed to be done in the off-season. Cindy was thankful for the chance to make a little extra money.
“I’ll be there tomorrow for haircuts for Owen and the kids.”
“That’ll be fun.”
“If you consider trying to get at a squirming little one with sharp scissors fun…”
Piper laughed. “Let me know if I can help.”
“Between their parents and my mom, we should be able to corral them.”
Jace returned with her salad and nodded to the checkerboard. “Set us up with a game. I’m out for retribution.”
“If you ask me,” Piper said when he’d walked away again, “that’s not all he’s out for.”
Cindy laughed as she nudged her friend. “Stop it.”
Piper left a short time later, and her seat was taken by Cindy’s brother John.
“I’m shocked to see you here,” he said with the dry wit that always made her laugh.
“No, you’re not.”
“At first, I thought it was the chowder that brought you in, but now I think it might be the bartender.”
He’d no sooner said that than Jace came over to put a draft beer in front of John and make his first move in the checkers game.
“Dinner, John?” he asked.
“No, thanks. I ate with my mom and Charlie.”
“Gotcha,” Jace said before moving to tend to other customers.
“It seems to me,” Cindy said to her brother as she slid a red checker forward, “you’re usually here when a certain man is performing.
” John had told her about the blowup over his relationship in Tennessee a while ago, and which had surprised her at the time.
But with hindsight, a lot of things made more sense since she’d had that conversation with him.
“Maybe. Maybe not. So, something kinda huge happened earlier.”
Cindy looked over at him. “What?”
“I came out to Mom, or I should say, she asked me when I was going to.”
“She did? Oh my God! So, she already knew?”
“She said she’s always known.”
“Wow, Johnny. That’s amazing. What did she say? What did you say?”
“The other night, I ran into Niall when I was out for a run and invited him back to the house for dinner. We had a nice time with Mom and Charlie, and she asked if I’m going to see him again. She said it like it was no big deal when I was shocked.”
“I’m sure you were.”
“She said…” His eyes filled, and he quickly looked away.
Cindy put her hand on his arm. “What did she say?”
“That she loves me unconditionally, now and always.”
“Aw, of course she does. We all do.”
“Do you have any idea what a relief it is that she knows and doesn’t care?”
“I can only imagine.”
“I’ve been carrying this huge secret my entire life, and now…” He shook his head. “Now, I don’t have to do that anymore.”
“No, you don’t.”
“It’s been so hard, Cin. I never wanted to disappoint anyone, even Dad, as weird as that might sound.”
“I get that. When he wasn’t being a thug, he set high standards for us that we’ve all struggled to live up to in one way or another.”
“Yeah, for sure.”
“I’m so glad you had that conversation with Mom and that it went as well as it did.”
“Me, too. I’m still kind of stunned that it happened at all. I wasn’t planning to go there with her, at least not then.”
“She could tell you’ve been struggling and wanted to help.”
“She really shocked me by coming right out with it.”
“I’m sure that was a huge shock, but a good one, right?”
“Definitely.”
“Will you tell the others?”
“Eventually.”
“Maybe you ought to just send a text and get it over with in one fell swoop.”
“Like, just text them and say, ‘Oh, by the way, I’m gay and always have been’?”
“Why not? It won’t change anything for them, and it’ll change everything for you.”
“You really don’t think it’ll change anything for them?”
“Johnny,” she said. “We love you. We always will. I haven’t a doubt in my mind about that. Just do it. Get it over with once and for all so you can get on with living your best life.”
He pulled his phone from his back pocket and stared at the screen for a second before he found their family group chat and began typing as Cindy read over his shoulder.
Talked to Mom tonight, and Cindy says I have to tell the rest of you what Mom already knew when I talked to her earlier… So I’m gay. That’s all I wanted to say. Love you guys. Hope you still love me. Johnny
“What do you think?” he asked Cindy.
“It’s perfect. Send it. Be done with it.”
John took a deep breath and held it as he pressed Send on the message.
Julia responded first. So what else is new? Have known that for years. Glad you’re doing you, boo. Love you always.
John ran a hand over his mouth as he teared up reading Julia’s message.
How did I miss this? Owen responded. No matter, good for you, love you.
Katie: Love you so much, Johnny.
Jeff: Duh. Carry on, bro.
Josh: I’m with you, O. Didn’t know, but whatever. Love you, J.
“There,” Cindy said. “All good just like I told you it would be.” She put her arm around John and brought his head to her shoulder.
“Thank you for the push. I suppose I should tell Gram and Gramps, too.”
“They won’t care either. I was with her earlier, and she was urging me to take Jace for a spin because, and I quote her in horror, ‘You wouldn’t buy a car without test-driving it, would you?’”
John sat up straight and laughed. “She did not say that.”
“Yes, she did, and you know she did.”
“She’s becoming more irreverent all the time. I love it, and I’ll talk to them. After that, I don’t care who knows.”
“That’s the way to be.”
On a break, Niall came up behind them. “What’s going on over here? Are you okay?”
“I am,” John said, smiling at the other man. “Better than ever, in fact.”
“And what brought this on?”
“A little coming-out party, you might say.”
Niall raised a brow. “You weren’t out yet?”
“Not officially.”
“And you are now?”
“To almost everyone who matters.”
“Great. You want to grab dinner some night?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Excellent.”
Watching them exchange phone numbers filled Cindy with an incredible feeling of pride in her brother and the courage it had taken for him to share his truth with their family.
John left an hour later, and the bar crowd slowly dwindled until Cindy was left alone with Jace, who’d offered to walk her home after his shift.
“Everything all right with your brother?” Jace asked as he washed the last of the glasses.
Cindy reached for a towel he’d left on the bar and gestured for him to pass her the glasses for drying. “It is now. He came out to our family tonight.”
“Oh wow. How’d that go?”
“As my friend in Dallas would say, it was a nothingburger in the grand scheme of things. My mom said she already knew, and the siblings were very supportive. A couple of them said they’ve known for years, too.”
“It might’ve been a nothingburger for all of you, but I’m sure it was a big deal for him.”
“It was huge. He was shocked when my mom said she already knew.”
“Mothers are spooky that way.”
“Yes, they are, and when you’re a mother of seven, you have ESP.”
“I suppose you’d have to have something extra to survive seven kids. You and John were cute sitting with your heads together plotting whatever you were up to.”
“He was texting the others with the news after he talked to my mom. I encouraged him to do it and get it over with. Now he just has to tell our grandparents, and then, as he said, everyone who matters will know.”
“How will they take it?”
“They won’t care. They’re very hip, and they love us more than anything. My mom is an only child, so she and the seven of us are their family. And besides, after what we endured with our father, all they care about is that we’re healthy and happy.”
“I guess that brought some perspective.”
“It did. When the whole story finally came out, they were sick over what’d been happening right under their noses, as they put it.
But he went to great lengths, especially by threatening us, to keep our family’s business private.
We never breathed a word of it to them. Owen, who’s the oldest, has said how badly he wanted to, but he feared making things worse rather than better. ”
“Would it have? Made things worse, I mean?”
“Very possibly. Because of my dad’s rank, people were deferential to him. They looked the other way. Once, when Owen was about fifteen or sixteen, my dad broke his arm during an altercation.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. The young doctor who saw him at the clinic, a junior officer, got Owen alone and asked a bunch of questions that led Owen to believe he suspected my dad had done it. Owen lied to him because he knew my dad would ruin the other guy’s career for trying to help.”
“He protected the doctor at his own expense. That’s wild.”
“That’s how it was for us. People were afraid to call out my dad for fear of reprisals.
So, we were abused in plain sight, and no one ever did anything about it because they were afraid of him, too.
Until the trial, when the wife of one of my dad’s former subordinates came forward, willing to testify that she knew, that everyone knew, who and what Mark Lawry really was.
She was just what we needed—someone from outside the family to confirm our account.
The minute my dad saw her in the courtroom, he took a plea deal because he knew she could bury him. ”
Jace had stopped what he was doing to listen to her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to go on about it.”
“Don’t be sorry. I want to hear whatever you want to tell me, but I hate that you and your family went through that with him.”
Cindy shrugged. “It happened. We survived it, and we’re all doing well now. That’s what matters.”
Jace shut off the lights over the bar and came around to where she was still seated on one of the stools, with only the light from outside illuminating them. He turned her stool toward him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “That’s not all that matters.”
Cindy’s mouth had gone dry. “What else matters?”
“You do. You matter. What you endured growing up… It’s made you strong and resilient, but you still hurt on the inside, don’t you?”
His insight startled her almost as much as his nearness did. “Most of the time, I’m okay, but yeah, it’s always there.”
“Yeah, it is. I think of my final minutes with Jess every day. It’ll never stop hurting.”
“I hurt a little less when you’re around,” she confessed, looking up at him as she said the words without taking even a second to consider whether she should.
“Likewise,” he whispered in the second before his lips met hers in a soft, sweet, undemanding kiss that would go down as one of the most perfect moments of her entire life. He cupped her face and stroked her cheek as he kissed her.
Still seated on the chair, Cindy strained to get closer.
Jace put his arms around her and lifted her right off her seat and into his embrace.
This, she thought in a second of complete clarity, is why I was born. He is why I was born. If a friend had told her that was what they thought the first time a guy kissed them, Cindy would have laughed at them for being dramatic.
But it didn’t feel dramatic to her. It simply felt true.
She looped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to his tongue, which brushed against hers in a suggestive rhythm that immediately had her trying to get even closer.
His arms were like a vise around her, keeping her trapped against him as he kissed her until she was breathless from wanting more of him.
Best. First. Kiss. Ever.