Chapter 30 #2
She laughed again at the pained face he made.
They ate in companionable silence while she gathered her thoughts so she could tell him how she was feeling.
“When I said this is so good, I wasn’t just talking about the food, which is delicious. I’m talking about all of it. You and me and Jax. This.”
“I think so, too. I couldn’t wait to come home to see what you guys were up to.”
“And then we weren’t even here.”
“You were at work. I liked knowing you’d be back before long.”
“You’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had, Duke. You’ve been there for me more than people I’ve known all my life. You gave us a place to stay and let me borrow your truck and cooked for me and found a high chair and—”
His hand landed on top of hers. “I love having you guys here. If I had my way, I’d want you to stay forever.”
“Forever is a really long time.”
“I know.” He leaned over to kiss her. “I hope it’s a really, really long time. If I had you and Jax to come home to every night, I can’t imagine ever wanting anything else.”
“It’s too soon for you to know that.”
He shook his head. “I’ve known that for weeks.”
“You’ve only known me for a few weeks!”
“It took about ten seconds to be nearly one hundred percent certain that I wanted you in my life. I had to talk myself out of running away from you because you’re Rosemary’s granddaughter, and I worried that she wouldn’t approve.
But then I thought maybe she’d been preparing me for you with all the time she invested in me.
I know that sounds dumb, but I’d like to think it’s possible. ”
“It’s not dumb. It’s very sweet.”
“There’s that damned word again,” he said with an exasperated grimace.
“You’d better get used to it since you keep doing sweet things.”
“I suppose I can live with that tag as long as I get to do sweet things for you and those sweet things make you happy.”
“They make me very happy. Scary happy.”
“Don’t be scared.”
“Can’t help it.”
“Any time you feel scared, you tell me, and I’ll give you a hundred reasons why you don’t need to be.”
“A hundred, huh?”
“I can do a hundred without even breaking a sweat.”
“Give me three.”
“You’re beautiful, smart and sexy as f-u-c-k. To start with. You make me laugh, you make me smile so much my face hurts, you care enough to make me wear a helmet, you’ve got me counting the minutes until I can see you again.”
“You count the minutes?”
“I do. Five times sixty was three hundred minutes today. They went by slow.”
“And then I wasn’t here when you got home.”
“Believe me, I noticed.”
“You want my list?”
“You have one?”
“I sure do. First and foremost, you’re sweet and kind and thoughtful.
You’re a hard worker, and you’ve built a life for yourself that you love so much you won’t give it up for anything or anyone.
You’re a good friend to everyone in your life.
You’re an amazing artist, and you make cool things from nothing, including the most elaborate cross-stitch I’ve ever seen.
You think of everyone else before you think of yourself, and you’re sexy as f-u-c-k, too. ”
“All that, huh?”
“That’s just off the top of my head.”
Jax picked that moment to bang the two spoons McKenzie had given him on the tray like it was a drum.
“Someone’s not looking too sleepy.”
“Nope. Maybe some playtime will help.” She used wet paper towels to clean him up and retrieved him from the chair while Duke carried their dishes to the sink. “I’ll wash the dishes.”
“No worries. I’ve got it.”
“That’s not fair. You cooked.”
“Go play with your son. I’ve got this.”
“And he does the dishes…” She waved her hand in front of her face. “So sexy and sweet.”
His low growl made her laugh as she carried Jax to the living room and put him down to play with his toys for a bit.
They rolled a ball back and forth until he got bored with that and turned his attention to a toy with lots of colorful buttons that made a variety of sounds.
He loved that one, of course. The louder the better.
Duke joined them a few minutes later, bringing her a glass of water and his wineglass as he sat on the floor with them.
“Coffee and water. Such service.”
“You know it.”
He stretched out next to Jax and fiddled with the ball.
Jax crawled toward him, reaching for the ball, which Duke snagged before he could get it.
The baby laughed and lunged toward Duke, landing on him, which triggered a mini wrestling match that Jax thoroughly enjoyed.
Her heart was full to overflowing as she watched them play and laugh.
How lucky were they to have such a good man in their lives?
She’d been so heartbroken by the breakup with Eric, but she could now see that it’d been for the best. She never would’ve come to Gansett and found a whole new happy, satisfying life if he hadn’t betrayed her.
When Jax began rubbing his eyes, McKenzie changed his diaper and sat in the rocking chair in Duke’s living room with a light blanket over them to breastfeed him and rock him to sleep. “I can feel you watching me.”
“I love watching you in mom mode.”
“I love him so much. I never imagined I could love anyone the way I love him.”
“He’s a very lucky boy.”
She used her free hand to run her fingers through his soft blond hair. “We’re both lucky to have each other.”
“He must look like his father.”
“He does.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Not at all. He’s his own unique self.”
“What’ll you tell him about his dad when he asks?”
“I haven’t really thought about that, but I suppose I’d tell him that his dad wasn’t available to us. I hope he doesn’t ask about that for a long time.”
“Maybe by the time he gets curious, he’ll have a dad who loves him and is there for him every day.”
“Wouldn’t that be something?”
“Sure would.”
“Is that what you want?”
“It’s funny… If you’d asked me a couple of months ago if I was jonesing for kids, I would’ve said not really.
But now that I know him—and you—it doesn’t seem so out there anymore.
I keep thinking about all the things I could teach him.
Like how to ride the Harley and how I could give him his first tattoo. ”
McKenzie gave him a withering look that made him laugh.
“What? I’d get him a helmet.”
“No Harley and no tattoos.”
“Looks like it’ll be me and you against Mommy, Jax.”
“I’ll put you both in time-out.”
“I love when you’re bossy with me, babe.”
“No tattoos, Duke. I mean it.”
“Not until he’s eighteen, of course.”
“Not even then!”
His bark of laughter startled Jax.
“Hush. The baby is trying to sleep.”
“Yes, ma’am.” His eyes sparkled with mischief. “I’ll hold off on the tattoos. For now, anyway.”
“I’d rather you teach him things like cross-stitching, cooking, gardening.”
“I’ll add them to the list.”
“And no Harley.”
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
“Nonnegotiable. My son will not ride on motorcycles.”
“Said every mom everywhere. What else is a hard no?”
“Football.” She shuddered. “The head injuries are terrifying.”
“You can get head injuries playing any sport. Hell, you can get a head injury tripping down the stairs.”
“Don’t give me more things to worry about.” She adjusted her top and her sleeping son so she could carry him to bed. As she tucked him in, she thought about how she ought to bring the portable crib to Duke’s house since it seemed like they were spending more time there than at the apartment.
Everything was moving fast. Lightning speed, actually, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to slow it down.
She didn’t want to slow it down. She wanted to jump in with both feet to whatever this was and wallow in the nicest thing to ever happen to her.
For a girl who’d been so badly burned in the past, alarm bells should’ve been sounding loudly.
But there were no bells. Just lots of butterflies, excitement and anticipation.
She kissed Jax good night. “Mommy loves you to the moon and back.” After adjusting the bumper that Duke had made from a blanket to keep him on the bed, she tiptoed from the room.
When she returned to the living room, Duke had moved from the floor to the sofa and was sipping amber liquid from a cocktail glass.
“Whatcha got there?”
“A little taste of bourbon.”
“I’ve never had it.”
“Want to try?”
“Sure.” She sat next to him and took the glass from him, taking a tentative sip since she wouldn’t feed Jax again until the morning. The liquor heated her from the inside as she handed the glass back to Duke. “Oh, I like it.”
“I do, too.”
“Hold that thought for a few more months, and then I’d like to try it again.”
“You got it. Is the little guy down for the count?”
“Yep.”
“He’s such a good baby.”
“He’s the best. The first couple of months were rough. He barely slept and was a bit colicky, which is no fun at all. But thankfully, he’s become super easy.”
He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. “I wish I’d been there then.”
“I do, too.” She ventured a glance at him. “This is starting to feel oh-so-serious.”
“Is that okay?”
“I want it to be. It feels so good to be with you this way. It feels better than anything ever has. It’s just…”
He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. “Tell me.”
“I know I have nothing to be afraid of where you’re concerned, but I feel like I’m tossing all caution to the wind and diving in headfirst, which would be totally fine if it was just me. But it’s not just me. I have to think of Jax, too.”
“I hear you, and I get why you feel the way you do. All I can tell you is I’ve never wanted anything more than to make the three of us a family.
I hope you know that I’m already most of the way in love with both of you, and I want more nights like this one.
I want a lifetime of nights just like this. ”
What could she say to that? How could she deny that was exactly what she wanted, too? She couldn’t, so she took his glass, put it on the table and reached for him.
Their kiss was hot and desperate and full of longing.
“God, MK, what you do to me.”
“What do I do?”
“You make me feel everything.”
“Same.” She put her hand on his face and drew him into another deep, sexy kiss. “Let’s go to bed.”