Chapter 26
Britain
I open the door, and am greeted by a large group of people who all shout “Surprise!” There’s a banner hanging over the bar. The first line says, “Congrats and Farewell” large and bold, and just below that are the words, “to the happy couple!” A surprise engagement party and a farewell. Fucking fantastic.
“Wow!” It’s all I can say. There’s a lot more people here than I know, but I do catch a glimpse of a couple people I haven’t seen in a very, very long time. Maximus and Nikolas Scala are standing towards the back of the group, but I’d know them anywhere. It’s hard to miss a pair of 6’2” Greek gods in Spearhead. There’s a few regulars from around town, and of course Rick and Carly. Even Alexander is here in the very back, nursing a glass of brown.
Perfect, everyone can bear witness to my embarrassment of showing up to an engagement party without my fiancé, who also won’t call or text me back. Sandy approaches me, embracing me in warmth. It takes everything in me to not break down right then. Jim is right behind her, giving me a warm hug, the scruff on his chin tickling my cheek as he pulls away.
“Where’s Liam?” he asks. Christ.
“He had to run an errand, I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.” I plaster on my fake smile and prepare to do battle, my loathing of socializing rising to the surface. I’m going to be absolutely drained by the end of this if I don’t get some food and Liam doesn’t show up. Huh, I’m just now realizing I haven’t eaten a full meal in three days.
“Thank you for putting this together, Sandy. And Jim.” I give him a wink and a smile. I can almost guarantee Jim was standing on top of the bar hanging that banner an hour ago.
“Oh, you’re welcome, sugar. I’m just so happy to have you in my family.” Her eyes are already teary. “When do I get to meet my new grandbabies?” I laugh. There’s nothing baby about them.
“Well, I’m thinking that I’ll bring them out here for the last couple weeks in July?”
“Oh my lord, okay. I haven’t been this excited since sliced bread. Do you think they’d like their own rooms at my house? I’ve never gotten to decorate for girls before. They can come hang out with Grandma and Gramps for a couple nights to give you and Liam some private time?” Yep, born to be a grandma.
I laugh. “I’m sure they’d love that. Maybe you can teach them the electric slide, too?” Her eyes go wide. She may be having a heart attack, but she just grabs my hand, gripping it tightly and says, “Thank you, Britain, for taking care of my baby. And for fulfilling an old woman’s dreams.” I wipe a tear away before it can ruin my mascara. I don’t say anything back, just return the squeeze to her hand.
“So, I don’t know who a lot of these people are.” I say under my breath, “Maybe you could introduce me to a few?”
“Let’s go, sugar, I gotta show off my new daughter!” This will at least keep me busy. It may not be Liam at my side holding me up, but Sandy is the next best thing. We head towards a small group of older adults, but I can’t help how many times my eyes wander to the door. Sandy introduces me to the owners of the gas station, and the owners of the grocery store. I couldn’t tell you their names if you held a gun to my head. All I can think about is Liam, and I hate that I’m not giving anyone the attention they deserve.
After a quick chat about the water level of the lake amongst the locals, I excuse myself. I need food. As soon as I exit the crowd, though, tall, dark, and handsome number one and two are right behind me.
“Hi, Britain,” Maximus says. God, he looks so much like Matthias I have to do a double take.
“Max, it’s been a long time.” He opens his arms up towards me and I gravitate to him for a hug. Once he releases me, Nikolas is right behind him, offering the same.
“Niko, it’s good to see you,” I say, and he just smiles, embracing me.
“Where’s your man?” Niko asks.
“He, um, had to go run an errand. He should be here any minute, though.” The words taste sour as they leave my mouth. My body feels what my mind is denying. Lie.
“Alright, well, we just wanted to say congrats. Glad to have you joining the family.”
“Thank you,” I say to both of them. Max still hasn’t said anything more, just silently examining me. Max always was the quiet, intelligent type, wise beyond his years. I missed them, I realize. I was over at their house almost every day that summer. The memories fly through me, and I start to feel dizzy.
Max grabs my arm. “You okay, Brit? You look a little…off?” Crap.
“Yeah, I just need to eat. I had a multi-day migraine, and haven’t eaten much while I was on my medicine.” He just nods, ushering me to the bar, and putting me on a stool. So brotherly and protective, just like I remember.
Niko leans over the bar top, motioning to Rick, who immediately saunters over.
“Hey, sweetheart, congratulations. Where’s the lucky guy, huh?” Rick asks in his usual drawl. Damnit.
“He, um, had to do something. He’ll be here any second.” My mouth is hot and I’m salivating too much. The word floats around at the back of my mind, lie.
“Well, what can I get for ya?”
“Can I just have a ginger ale and whatever the special is, please?”
He just gives a low laugh. “Coming right up, doll.”
I try to give him a nice smile, but I can feel my resolve weakening by the moment. I pull out my phone, checking, again. Nothing. Niko and Max haven’t left my side. I should probably try to engage, be polite and social.
“So, how have you both been? What are you guys up to?” Max doesn’t make a move to speak, Niko’s already talking anyways.
“Well, been living the dream. Finished up school while you were gone. Now I’m working at MS Group for Matt and Liam. That’s basically it.” He nods towards Max. “Same for this guy. Except way more work, a lot less dreaming.” Max just nods in agreement with his sentiment.
“That’s great. I’m sure Constantine must love having the whole family working together.”
“Well, it’s not all of us. You know Silas hates all of our guts, and then Constantine retired when Georgia died.” Right.
“Right. Right.” I might officially be out of things to talk about. They know it, too. Max just leans down, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
“It was real good to see you again, Brit.” He begins walking away towards the jukebox, Niko will likely follow.
“Alright, Brit, I’ll be seeing you around then, yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll be back in a couple weeks.” I give another fake smile and he leans in placing a chaste kiss on my other cheek before quickly catching up to Max on the other side of the dining room. Rick places a ginger ale in front of me, and I quickly drink it down.
“Liam Millar, huh?” Alexander. He slips into the bar stool beside me, brown glass still in hand.
“Yeah, sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier this week. We were just focused on Georgia, and yeah…” I trail off. That’s not really the reason I didn’t say anything, but it doesn't matter.
“You know he was like a big brother to me, before I moved to Arizona with Ray?”
“I didn’t know that. There’s a lot of things I didn’t know about your childhood, or even Georgia.” Should I tell him about the notebooks? Why not? I have no idea when I’ll see him again, and if he’ll actually want to talk to me. “I’ve learned a little bit about what happened back then, though. Did you know what was in the box that Georgia left for me?”
“Nope. Just figured it was her jewelry and baby blankets.”
“Her jewelry box was in there, but she also left me notebooks. Hundreds of them, spanning back to before I was born. There’s a lot of them that are just ramblings about you and me, our grades in school, and what she got us for Christmas. But there’s at least one about the night she left Ray.” I have his attention now. He turns to me, eyes wide, face drained of color.
“Did you read it?”
“I did.”
“So you know?” he asks, confusing me. Wait, he knows?
“I know now. You know?” He nods, wearing the same look as me, haunted by the weight in his bones.
“I was there when it happened, Britain.” My stomach falls into my ass. No, no, no, no. I reach for his hand, holding it tightly in mine, and he doesn’t pull away, surprisingly. “Ray told me to wait in the car. Telling a 6-year-old boy to stay in a hot car, alone, on a hundred degree day should tell you all you need to know about Ray. I stayed though, at least for ten minutes before it got too hot.
I went to the front door, and I could hear him beating her. She was screaming for help, but I couldn’t move. Couldn’t do anything. I heard every hit, kick, every scream, every cry for help. I heard him say he was going to…um…you know, before he took her life. And I just stood on the front step, paralyzed. I didn’t run to the neighbors for help, didn’t do anything. Until eventually Constantine showed up.
He picked me up, and carried me to the next-door neighbors.” He pauses. “I thought Georgia died. I didn’t hear differently until Sandy brought me back home a couple days later, and she was still there. She didn’t look anything like the mom I’d known, though. And I was so ashamed, I wouldn’t go to her. I begged her to let me go with Ray, wherever he was. I told her I wanted to be with him and it tore her up, hearing that, but I felt like it was my penance for letting him do that to her. I’d go live with Ray and make sure he always had a punching bag that wasn’t Georgia, and eventually, you.” I’m trying so hard not to sob, not to break down.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your evening, sis. I’m sorry you never knew what happened before now, but I’m glad you didn’t. You got to have the childhood and the mom I wanted you to.”
“Alex, you were six.” The flood gates open as I throw myself on to him, embracing him hard, and for once, he returns the affection. I repeat over and over to him, “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry, Alex.” I don’t know who’s consoling who, but eventually we separate as Rick sets down a plate of food in front of me. Thankfully, Rick can interpret we’re in the midst of a heavy moment, and he just lets us be.
My body is yelling at me to eat, but I have no appetite. I just turn to Alex again and ask, “Will you sit here with me?” He nods and I begin the arduous task of forcing myself to eat something. I don’t get a single bite in, when the front door opens, and it’s like a shock of electricity, just for me, summoning me.
His pull is magnetic, and when we make eye contact, I feel the heat run through me down to my toes. He averts his gaze immediately, though, making his way to Sandy. He leans over, whispering something in her ear, causing the color to leave her face. She drops her glass on the floor and it shatters, drawing everyone’s attention. My stomach rolls. He doesn’t hesitate, though, just turns, stepping around the mess on the floor and heads straight for me. Once he’s in front of me, he just nods toward Alexander in greeting and takes my hand, leading me to a less crowded area near the hallway to the restrooms.
I open my mouth to start talking, but I’m immediately silenced by him.
“Don’t say anything, Bambi.” He takes my left hand in his, and slides the ring from my finger. No, no! I try to pull back, but he won’t let me. I’m trembling when he finally releases my naked hand. I’m stunned and I feel like I’m dying. I open my mouth again, but nothing comes out. I just stare at him, but he won’t look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes, you coward.
He pockets the ring and releases my hand, finally looking me in the eyes, and all he says is, “Goodbye, Britain.” The words cut straight to the bone, splaying me open and bleeding me out. I’m paralyzed, and all I can manage to squeak out is, “Please don’t leave me,” but he’s already walking away from me, going straight to the door. Thanks to Sandy’s broken glass, no one’s watching me or him. I feel like I’m going to be sick, but I can’t take my eyes off the door as he slips out. He just fucking left me. He just fucking left me.
The front door opens again, and my foolish heart skips a beat, hoping he’s coming back, but the face I see instead sends cold shivers down my spine. His eyes scan the room before landing on me. I feel the sting of his gaze and a zap of recognition as the black takes over my vision, and I fall, and all I can think is good, it can’t hurt if I’m asleep.
I wake up in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask over my face and a sob in my throat. I feel like I’m drowning, and I cry.
“It’s okay, ma’m, you’re going to be okay.” A young man is talking to me, but I don’t recognize the voice. It only makes me sob harder. A warm hand grips mine, and for a second I think it’s Liam, but then Alex speaks.
“Britain, you fainted at Colton’s. You hit your head on the way down. You’re going to be okay, but we have to take you to the hospital, okay?” I just nod and try to contain my sobs. I don’t feel any physical pain, no stinging or soreness in my head. Yet this may be the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I replay what I think are my last conscious moments, over and over in my head. The memory of his hand sliding the ring off my finger feels like dying over and over again, but never finding relief on the other side, just another painful death.
I just want to go back to sleep, where pain doesn’t exist, but I’m crying too hard. I can’t calm down. Alex begins stroking my arm, trying his best to soothe me.
“Britain, it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I promise. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” I hear him curse under his breath. I can’t bring myself to open my eyes again, seeing a world without Liam in it feels unbearable.
“Just hang tight, sis, we’re 15 minutes out from the hospital, okay?” I just nod. He must hate being here in this ambulance. Too many memories. Same.
“I’ll try calling Liam again when we get there. He’ll meet us there, okay?” No one knows yet then.
“He won’t.” My words are muffled, so the paramedic moves the oxygen mask, pulling it away from me so I can say it again. “He won’t be coming. He just dumped me at Colton’s.” I push out between sniffles. Alex just curses under his breath again, but strengthens the grip on my hand.
I’m trying to avert my thoughts from tonight, and when I do, I start to cry harder. I think about the girls, and what they’ll think when they hear that I might have a concussion and that I had to go to the hospital. It’s going to ruin their last days of school. I have to stop crying over men. I have two young women that need a strong mom in their life, not this weakling human I’ve become. God, I hate myself.
Then I think of Georgia, all alone. I think about how I used to pity her, but I’m starting to see she was stronger than I ever realized. Not being with someone is the ultimate flex, right? No one can ever hurt you that way. She was strong enough to exist on her own. She did everything on her own. If I make it through this, I may just have to adopt her way of life. A life lived alone. Can’t fucking wait.