Chapter One Hundred and Nine
Elizabeth was beginning to feel almost wild.
She was delighted in her marriage, ecstatic to be alone with Fitzwilliam once everyone went upstairs at night, nearly worshipful of the estate with its apparently millions of trees and lakes and streams and ponds!
Yet, it seemed that the happier she was, the more unhappy poor Georgiana was.
And how could Elizabeth truly feel happy when Georgiana was not?
Was it possible that Georgiana felt neglected by her brother? She found her husband in his study and put it to him at once. “Fitzwilliam, might she be – well, jealous?”
He did not need to ask who ‘she’ was. “I do not see how she could be,” he replied, after a moment’s thought. “She was away at school for a long time, then with Anne, and then we were at Meryton. It is not as if she ever had my company for any length of time.”
“But perhaps that is the problem,” Elizabeth mused. “Perhaps she thought that she might have you to herself, at long last, and then you went and found yourself a wife.”
“What am I to do?” he asked. “I cannot and will not neglect that wife, that most adorable and charming wife!”
“No, I do not think that necessary; but perhaps invite her to go with you on your tours of the estate? She has not ridden in some time; it would be good for her to go out on Daffodil.”
“It is a good idea,” he agreed. “Poor Daffodil has been sadly neglected; only the grooms have exercised her since we left for Rosings.”
***
The next morning, Mr. Darcy told Georgiana that he was riding over to the Foster’s house. “They have a new baby, Georgiana,” he told her. “You know how much you always liked Mrs. Foster; she asked after you the last time I saw her. Would you like to come with me?”
Georgiana hesitated.
Elizabeth urged her, “Oh, Georgiana, do go! I sewed a blanket for the new baby and I have a basket of things for them, but have not the time to bring it to the Fosters myself. Would you do that for me?”
“Very well,” Georgiana said, but there was little enthusiasm in her voice.
***
Daffodil was delighted to see Georgiana, and nickered her excitement.
“Oh, Daffy!” Georgiana said, burying her face in the mare’s mane.
“Been some time since she saw you, Miss,” the head groom said, shyly. “She missed you, I think.”
Once in the saddle, Georgiana seemed momentarily brighter, and her happy laughter floated behind her as she rode out ahead of her brother.
His heart lifted to hear it. Perhaps Elizabeth is right, he thought; she just needs more time with me!
More time out of doors, with me and Daffodil, and less time brooding in her room.
But when they reached the Fosters’ cottage, and she saw the new baby, her face fell and the troubled, inward-focused gaze returned to her face.
She presented Elizabeth’s blanket and basket, making certain that Mrs. Foster knew who had taken the trouble to assemble the gifts, and congratulated Mrs. Foster most cordially, but Mr. Darcy could have no doubt that her misery had returned.
When they rode away, Mr. Darcy waited until they were out of sight of the cottage, and reined in his stallion. “Georgiana,” he sighed. “Please, dearest…”
But she only shook her head and rode away ahead of him.
***
For Georgiana, the ride had started out in pure delight.
She had forgotten how free she felt on Daffodil!
As if she could ride away from everything and anything, and just become part of the wind and the sky!
But when they got to the cottage and she saw the baby, she immediately thought of what it would have been like if he, he, had succeeded and she had become with child, and she would have been taken to a cottage to bear the babe in secret, and then…
She had managed to get through the visit credibly, she thought, but she could not possibly have explained to Brother what had come into her mind. She had not the words for it.
She knew she was breaking their hearts, Brother’s and Lizzy’s. She knew that this should be a time of joy for them. And she knew she was ruining it, as she had ruined their time in Meryton, as she would doubtless always ruin everything.
When she got home, there was a letter from Anne waiting for her. How Georgiana had come to dread these letters!!
Dear Georgiana,
I met the nicest young lady! Her name is Camillia Everington; does that not sound just like the name of a heroine in a novel?
She is ever so pretty, with clouds of blond hair and big blue eyes, and she is the daughter of a baron.
She tells me that she must make a match this Season because there is not enough money for her to have a second Season, so I have promised to do everything I can to help her!
We both went to Lord Esterley’s ball last night, and she told me how very much she wished to marry Lord Esterley’s son, for he is ever so handsome and kind, but he is already betrothed to the daughter of an earl.
I told her to set her sights on someone more attainable, for there is nothing to be gained by pining for someone you cannot have.
I will not mention your George here, as I still do not know what happened to that Great Romance.
I hope it was nothing too dreadful. I hinted to Aunt Eleanor about it and she seemed to know nothing.
In any case, dearest Georgiana, I think of you often, and not a day goes by that I do not wish you were here with me.
It is a little frightening when all these ladies come and look me up and down as if I were a horse at Tattersalls, and I know you would give me courage and tell me to stare right back!
With great affection,
Anne
Georgiana read it, and then folded it up and put it in her desk drawer. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes. She was so very, very tired.