Chapter One Hundred and Ten
The next time Georgiana received a letter from Anne, it was even worse.
Dear Georgiana,
I have been to three balls this past week, can you credit it?
I had a different ballgown for each one, as Aunt Eleanor assures me that I simply cannot be seen wearing the same gown twice!
I begin to understand why my dear friend Camillia says her family cannot afford a second Season, for the sheer number of gowns one needs is astonishing!
Happily, this is not an issue for me, as Mother says there is plenty of money, and I am not to think about it.
We go shopping three times a week, for even though it seems I have all the clothes anyone might need, I wear out my dance slippers with some regularity!
And then silly new things come into fashion, and nothing will do for Aunt Eleanor than for me to be rigged out in the newest fashion!
This past week, it was absolutely essential that one’s parasol have an embroidered peacock on it; I cannot tell you why, but everyone had to rush out and buy new parasols!
Have you ever heard such nonsense? My new parasol is the prettiest shade of blue you ever saw, so I suppose it is not so bad.
I am careful not to dance with the same gentleman twice, as this would indicate a preference that I am not ready to show.
I have met scores of gentlemen, so many that I struggle to remember them all!
It seems that anyone I dance with calls the very next day, bringing flowers!
Aunt Eleanor suggested that I keep a diary of who I danced with and who came to call, but I truthfully cannot be bothered.
Aunt Eleanor says that even though I am not the prettiest of the girls this Season – and I do not think she really needed to tell me that – nor have I a title, I nonetheless likely have the best dowry of any of them.
I suppose that is why I am asked to dance every dance, even when Camillia, who is far prettier than I, is not.
I tell you, Georgiana, it does feel a little disappointing to be wanted for one’s dowry!
I will not marry anyone who does not truly care for me.
I have already seen what that marriage looks like in my own parents, and I had rather live on my own, in solitary splendour like Mother, than live with a man who does not at least like me.
Georgiana, how I wish you were here with me! What fun we would have together!
Do write and tell me how you are, and how the new Mrs. Darcy is finding Pemberley!
With love, and I truly do miss you!
Anne
These letters from Anne seemed to be messages from another life, a life Georgiana might have had, had she not been so stupid. Had she been warned. Had someone told her…
***
Georgiana was noticeably out of sorts at dinner, even more so than usual, and Elizabeth was determined to learn the cause.
She had no opportunity to do so that evening, and it was not until the following afternoon, when Mr. Darcy had left to solve a boundary dispute, that she managed to get through her duties and visit her sister.
“What is it, Georgiana?” Elizabeth thought there was no point in shilly-shallying.
Georgiana looked away.
“Go on, dear, tell me. You know I will not leave until you do so; I have even brought a book with me, in case you wish to take your time.” Elizabeth pulled a small volume of sonnets from her skirt pocket and waved it about.
Georgiana could not help laughing. “And you would, too! You would sit here on my bed without a word and read until I gave in!”
“You know me well, Georgiana!”
The two laughed together. Then Georgiana’s face fell and she took Anne’s letters from her desk drawer and handed them to Elizabeth.
Elizabeth read the letters, one by one, and then handed them back.
“Well, good for Anne, I say. But she is a good deal older than you, Georgiana. No one is saying that you must have your come-out this year or next or even the one after. You know that we would never force you to do anything for which you did not feel ready. I, for one, would be happy to have you with me here at Pemberley forever.”
Georgiana could only shake her head. How could she explain that Anne had been weak and timid, until she, Georgiana, had come into her life and shaken her up a bit?
And now Anne was off on adventures that Georgiana feared she could never even imagine trying!
Georgiana was supposed to be the brave one, and Anne the timid one, and now everything was backwards! How was this fair?
To her surprise, she found that she had voiced that last sentence aloud, for Elizabeth immediately said, “It is not fair at all! Not fair that you have had such a terrible experience that you are now afraid of something you might have welcomed a year ago. But I do think, dearest, I really do think that you will get better! I promise you that no one will force you to do anything you do not feel ready for.”