30. Chapter 30
Chapter thirty
I feel bad about not staying with Gigi until she falls asleep. But damn, she was after me. And for the first time, I have no desire to see that perfect body. At least naked, anyway. She looked hot in my T-shirt. I’ve never let a girl wear my T-shirt.
That’s rule number one: you give them clothes, they think they’re coming back.
That’s why I froze up. The way I felt in that moment was plain to see: I didn’t want her to go. I want to keep her with me. I want her to keep all my T-shirts if she wants them.
But I need her to understand I am incapable of being what she desires so desperately.
A heartless guy can’t simply change. The way I felt in there with Gigi just now made me feel as though I have.
That’s how I know this has to stop. And it has to stop soon.
“That was intense,” Rory says as I shut my bedroom door and meet her and EJ in the living room. I sit on the loveseat, crossing my arms over my chest. “Is she doing okay?”
“She took a shower. She’s asleep now, though.”
“You stayed until she fell asleep,” EJ says, an edge to his tone. “Cade. Dude.”
“I know,” I say flatly. “I’ve taken care of her all night. I wasn’t about to leave her alone to cry herself to sleep.”
“I heard her laughing,” Rory points out. “You clearly did something right.”
“I make her happy,” I say to no one in particular. “That scares me.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Big deal, you have feelings for her. Act on them.”
I guffaw. “No.”
“And why the hell not?”
“I could say the same to you dumbasses,” I tell Rory and EJ.
Rory flushes. “This isn’t about me, you fuck.”
“The point is, nothing can happen between Gigi and me.”
“So, what now? Do you break up with her?” EJ asks.
I give him a look. “I tell her our… thing is over with. That I can tell she’s catching feelings, and it’s in her best interest and mine if we cut our losses. She’s a reasonable girl. She’ll understand.”
EJ’s eyes darken. “Why are you making that sound easy for you?”
“Because it is.”
Rory’s eyes narrow. She juts her chin. “I don’t know. You’re in for it, Cade. You’re going to absolutely crush her.”
“I’ve spent the summer helping her be okay with casual,” I tell them. “We’ve been gearing up for this.”
“And she,” Rory points out, “has been teaching you how to love her the whole time, you fucking idiot. I could tell she was lying through her teeth the day she told me she could totally have sex with you, with any rando from here, and not feel something. She did that to impress you. She thought that’s what you wanted.”
Rory’s words make my chest constrict. “I do. But not from her. I like Gigi for being Gigi. I don’t want her to be like anything else.”
“That ship sailed the minute you decided to give in and sleep together. Sorry to disappoint, but she’s been in love with you this whole damn time. And that means being whoever she needs to be to make you happy.”
My stomach sinks. My blood drops in temperature, going ice cold. “She went on dates with that other dude,” I point out. “The artist guy she met at the coffee shop. Said she liked him a lot.”
“She did ,” Rory says. “Until you got drunk and ruined everything.”
My jaw clenches. I mutter, “She never did tell me what I said, how I acted. Probably made the biggest ass of myself. And to save my feelings, she didn’t tell me.”
“Would you expect anything else from that girl?” Rory asks. I shake my head. She nods at me. “See. Not to mention the fact that she got a tattoo. You know that was to impress you, right? You aren’t so stupid that you didn’t notice that one. Tell me you aren’t that much of an idiot, Cade.”
“She kept saying,” I clear my throat, preparing my best high-pitched croon, “‘I got this tattoo to prove something to me, not to you.’ I want to believe her, because that’s a big thing for someone like Gigi. To think of that as her doing something for herself, not her doing something for me.”
“It’s both,” Rory tells me.
“How do you know?”
“I just do,” she says. “I don’t even think Gigi knows that it’s both. But it definitely is. I’m proud of her.”
“Me, too,” I say quietly. “That girl’s one of the strongest people I know. For her to be able to be nice to Belinda after everything, to not tell her off until last night—I can’t believe she waited so long.”
“Maybe seeing Belinda sabotaging what she has with you was the final straw,” EJ adds. “I dunno, though. How do girls’ brains work?” He smirks at Rory, and she swats at him.
“I think you’re right, sweet pea,” she adds. “Seeing Belinda mackin’ on her man did it, I’m sure. Gigi’s definitely the jealous type.”
“Sweet pea?” I raise my eyebrows curiously at EJ.
“If you and your girlfriend can do cutesy nicknames,” Rory says pointedly, “so can me and mine.”
“Hey, now,” EJ cuts in. “I wear the pants.”
“Sure you do, sweetheart,” Rory says, patting his leg. “Cade. You’re in deep now. Especially after tonight. I know you were trying to help her during a tough moment, but for Gigi, I’m sure it was more than that.”
It was more than that for me, too. That’s why it has to stop.
“I do have to end it,” I say. “Fuck me. I thought this was going to be simple.”
“You should have known the minute you met Gigi that nothing is simple about her or her circumstances,” Rory deadpans.
“Except her coffee order,” I add dryly. “That’s as simple as can be.”
Waking up next to Gigi makes me feel a way I’ve never felt. I’m happy to see her cute face as half of her head is buried into my pillow. I don’t mind that she hooked her leg with mine as we slept, whether she meant to or not.
I enjoyed pulling my T-shirt over her head after she showered, tucking her in so tightly as a joke, just to make her laugh amongst all her crying. I’m happy she’s waking up with me today and not Belinda.
I would quit my job at the diner out of solidarity, but the money I’m getting—at least, what remains after I reimburse EJ—goes right into a fund to buy supplies for the shop. I’m not willing to risk my dream—I can’t. Like I told EJ and Rory last night, there is no way I’m letting that girl get in the way of this dream. She’d be a distraction—I won’t have it.
I can’t make Gigi understand that. Girls like her, who want the picture-perfect life she does, will never understand a man choosing anything but them in the end.
My shop is my one true love.
I can’t let my feelings for Gigi get in the way of me and my baby.
I won’t let them.
Resolute, I sit up in bed. I peer over at Gigi, then carefully reach a hand out to brush golden locks from her closed eyes. “I’m so sorry I’m going to destroy you,” I whisper. “But I don’t have a choice.”