32. Chapter Thirty-two
Chapter Thirty-two
Nate
I barely noticed anything about the room once we were inside except for the warm glow coming from the sconces on the walls.
I carried Samantha to the oversized bed, sitting against the padded headboard with her cradled in my lap.
Her long legs curled to the side, and her head rested heavy on my shoulder.
“What do you want?” I asked, her hair flowing like silk between my fingers. “Do you want to be untied?”
“Not yet,” she mumbled. “Let me stay like this.”
Now that I had her in this room, I wasn’t sure what the next step was. Clearly, this had been Adrian’s plan—get me here so I could see Samantha this way—give me the key to this room so we could be alone. Now what?
Push her.
I kissed her temple. “You look so pretty like this.”
“You like me in ropes?” She raised her head, giving me her glazed eyes. “Why?”
“The ropes are incidental.” I took her chin between my fingers, holding her still. “I like seeing you at peace.”
“Mmm…and I can’t run away.”
“Your legs are free. You could go if you wanted.”
“I couldn’t get very far.” Her nose crinkled. “What are you doing here, Nate?”
“I’m here to see you.”
That wasn’t the whole of it, but it was the truth. Adrian had told me it was her night off, but I’d still come half hoping she’d show up anyway.
“You are?” she whispered, like we were exchanging secrets. “And now that you’ve seen me like this, do you regret it?”
“I don’t regret anything about us.” I ran my finger along the rope beneath her breast. “I missed you.”
“Nate…”
I shook my head. I wasn’t allowing her to dismiss this.
“What were you going to do tonight if I hadn’t shown up?” I continued trailing my fingertips along the edge of the rope. “Would you have allowed someone else to hold you like this? Would you have let someone else unravel you?”
She tried to drop her head, but I kept her in my hold. “I don’t know. I can’t think.”
“You can.” I tipped her head back more. “The fact is, I don’t care about what you would have done. You would have wished it was me the whole time and regretted it the second it was over. I’m not going to allow that.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means this is real, Sam. You and I have something real, whether you want to say it or not. I’m not perfect, and neither are you, but I don’t care for perfection. I care about you.”
Moving swiftly, I dropped her onto her back and braced my hands on either side of her head. She wasn’t breathing or blinking or moving in any way. I parted her legs to slot myself between them, and she did nothing to stop me.
“Let’s be real, Samantha,” I whispered against her lips.
She finally gasped, and when I didn’t move away, she slowly exhaled into my mouth. Her eyes cleared as they met mine. “I wouldn’t have let anyone else touch me. The ropes…I wanted a break from thinking.”
I meant it when I’d said I wouldn’t have cared if she’d chosen to be with someone else tonight, but my caveman side was pleased she’d had no intention of doing it.
“Did it work?”
“It was starting to…until you stepped on stage.” She lifted her head to dig her teeth into my chin, nipping at me like an indignant puppy. “Do you want to be my boyfriend, Nate? Is that what you’re asking?”
Chuffing, I rolled my forehead against hers. “I’m too old to be a boyfriend. It sounds ridiculous in my head.” Then I sighed. “But yes, that’s what I’m asking.”
“You know I’m not a safe bet. My track record…”
“Neither of us is a safe bet from the outside. Let’s do it anyway.”
Her mouth twitched at the corners, the first hint of a smile. “Really? Even after the hard time I gave you?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I slid my face next to hers, pressing our cheeks together. “You’ve woken me up, Sam. For the first time in years, I feel like I’m wide awake. I don’t want to go back to sleep. I want to hang out with you in the light.”
She trembled beneath me, her bound hands clutching at my shirt. “I’m so scared to say yes.”
“I know.” I turned my face to touch my lips to her cheek again and again. “I know, sweet girl. It’s scary to me too, but I want to do it anyway. Be scared with me. Do it with me.”
“Do it scared.”
“Exactly.” Shifting off her, I rolled her to her side and curled around her back. “It’s up to you. I’ve played my hand. I can’t force you to give me a chance, but I really hope you do.”
My fingers grazed the knot on her back. “All I have to do is give this a tug and you’ll be free.”
Her breath caught on a deep inhale, and for a few pounding heartbeats, everything froze. Then she shook her head as she exhaled.
“I don’t want to be free.”
I wrapped my arms around her, burrowing my nose into her neck. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want to be yours.” She turned her head enough to give me her eyes. “I think I’ve been yours for a lot longer than I even realized.”
“It’s felt that way.”
“And you’ve been mine?”
“Yeah, Sam. I’ve been yours.”
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
Closing my eyes, I rubbed my lips along her shoulder. “That’ll suck.”
A giggle bubbled out of her. “Understatement of the year.”
“Yeah.” I kissed the sharp tip of her collarbone. “You think you’ll lose your family, and I get that. But I’d never take that from you. I swear it, Samantha. I don’t have it in me to do that. Even if you ran over me with your car, I’d assume you had a reason.”
That earned another laugh. “Don’t excuse me for running you over.” She twisted her neck to smile at me. “I wouldn’t hurt you on purpose. Not ever.”
“I know.” I dipped to kiss her gently, and her lips parted, her tongue peeking out to meet mine. “Tell me yes.”
“How can I not? You’ll let me run you over.”
Grinning, I kissed her again. Longer. Deeper. I’d needed this like breathing. For the first time since California, I was righted, seeing things straight, as they should’ve been—Samantha pliant in my arms, both feet on the bed instead of one out the door.
“Say yes,” I murmured.
She sucked in a breath, like she was gathering her strength.
In a lot of ways, I understood why she needed to.
This wasn’t easy for her. Choosing me made her vulnerable in a way that terrified her.
Opening herself up to me opened her up to being hurt in a way she hadn’t allowed since she was a kid and learned she had to protect herself.
But she did it. She was brave. She put me out of my misery and gave me a chance to show her these walls weren’t needed with me. I’d be gentle with her, and I’d take care not to be yet another person who’d let her down.
“Yes, Nate.” Her eyes locked on mine, bright in the dim lighting. “Let’s be real.”
I fell over her, wrapping her tight in my arms. She whimpered, pressing back against me. Now that I had her for real, something unraveled inside me I hadn’t known was being choked tight. My lungs fully inflated, and my blood surged through my extremities.
We kissed and rubbed against each other. I lost my shirt, my pants, and my briefs. Then we were skin to skin. The rope chafed as I rocked over her, kissing my way down her body. She lifted her hips to allow me to yank her panties off then I buried my face between her thighs.
Her taste was a relief. A cure to the heavy, cloying melancholy I’d carried with me since she’d left me in peace.
And it was even better than before. Now I knew this was mine.
She was mine. I lapped her up. Every drop of her arousal coated my tongue and took a slow slide down my throat, warming my belly.
Something in her must’ve loosened too. Her cries were louder, untethered by whatever had been holding her back. And it was my name she chanted, begged, sobbed as she came and came and came under my tongue.
When I curled around her again, she was boneless, molding her back to my front. I lifted her leg over mine and slid into her soaking, slick heat. Like finding home for the first time, I went in and explored as deep as I could.
I couldn’t shut my eyes. I raked my gaze over her, barely blinking, from the red ropes to her flushed skin.
Her kiss-swollen lips and pink cheeks. The way her ass flexed as it collided with my hips.
The strand of hair swiveling like a snake along her neck.
The utter euphoria clouding her eyes as she sought mine out.
“Nate,” she moaned.
“Sam,” I replied against her lips. “You’ve never been more beautiful than you are right now.”
“You like me like this,” she slurred.
“Oh yeah, I do.” She meant the ropes. I meant as mine.
She looked like mine, and there was nothing hotter or more desirable than that.
Nothing.
I was alive as I thrust into her. My brain sparking, my nerves alight. My heart growing lush from its former husk. Feelings rushed to the surface, and though I wasn’t quite sure what to do with all of them, I reveled in their existence.
I took my time with her—no sense of urgency to get to the end. I held her as close as I could, slipping my fingers beneath the ropes, binding myself to her.
“Missed you, sweet girl.” I rubbed my lips against her cheek.
“Missed you too.”
I pushed all the way in, planting myself there. “Not just this. You.”
“I know, I know, I know.” She arched her back, her ass colliding into me. “But this too.”
“Yeah. Definitely this.”
It went on for as long as I could make it last. I never wanted it to end.
But the swell of pleasure in my gut became too big to contain, and I let it loose.
Grinding against her, struggling to get deep enough—to feel her all over me.
She took me in, moaning and shuddering at the storm of my release, giving me one more of her own, weak and dwindling as it was.
Then we were lying together, tangled and catching our breath, and more than anything else, I wanted her arms around me.
“Can I untie you now?” I tugged on the knot.
Her eyes flickered to mine. “As long as you don’t let me go.”
“Not a chance.” Like Madam Cara had said, once I got the first knot undone, the rest came easy. I curled the rope around my fist as I freed Samantha inch by inch. Her hands came last, wiggling loose. Tossing the rope behind me, I took her hands in mine, rubbing the life back into them.
Her forehead fell on my chest, her breath hot as it exploded from her. “Nate,” she mewed.
“I know, Sam.” I rubbed her arms, her sides, her back, tracing the lines the rope had left behind. “You did so well. I don’t think anyone has ever looked more beautiful in red rope.”
“That can’t be true.”
“Prove me wrong.”
I felt her smile against my chest. “I’d rather not.”
“You can’t.” I smiled, pulling her into my arms. “Think you might be able to hug me back?”
“I know I can.”
Her arms came up, circling my neck. She hugged me harder than I’d expected, but with the exact ferocity needed to settle the last wonky part of me back into place.
“That’s right,” I breathed.
“It is,” she agreed sleepily. “Exactly right.”