43
Logan
“It’s you. Jane.” I’m so shocked to find her that the danger that threatens Lia fades… just for a few moments.
“No.” She blinks. “No, I’m Billie.”
Her voice comes out breathy and a little shaky around the edges. She looks up at me in shy confusion, and realizing she must be freaking out about a strange man gripping her to him, I release her onto the soft ground.
“Billie. Do you have a death wish, Billie?”
Her face grows red, and I regret my words at once. But to find my daughter, after all this time, while she’s in the middle of a suicide attempt, and as I’m chasing down my kidnapped girl… my mind is reeling.
“Logan? Hello?”
Damien’s voice coming from my phone brings me back to reality. I lift it up to my ear. “Did you get an address? I’m here with…” I swallow. “Jane.”
For once in my life, I think I’ve taken him utterly by surprise. There’s a long silence, and then he says, “Vincent’s on it. Do you want to send someone else after Lia?”
“No, no. She’s mine. I need to find her.”
“Okay. And… what about… Jane? Should I call Everest and have him hold onto her?”
“No. I mean, yes. I need to…” I find myself in that old dilemma. Who am I going to save? Who am I going to choose?
The girl I’ve lost or the girl I’ve found?
“Please have Everest come for Jane. And tell him… she’s suicidal.”
I hang up before Damien can say anything else. Then I stare down at my daughter.
She’s drawn herself up at my words, and although she looks just as nervous as before, I can tell she’s doing her best to overcome her shyness.
“My name isn’t Jane,” she tells me. “I don’t know who told you that, but it’s not true. I’m Billie. And I’m not suicidal.”
“Okay, Billie. So what exactly were you doing, drowning in that pool, if you weren’t trying to end your life?”
“I wasn’t drowning.” Her lower lip trembles. “I was playing a game. A hiding game.”
“Uh huh. And who were you hiding from?”
Her blush is just as splotchy as Lia’s. “My brother. Well, not my real brother. My foster brother.”
I frown. “Is he mean to you?”
“No, no,” she says hastily. “He’s not mean at all.
He’s nice. At least, he’s the nicest person I know.
I like him a whole lot.” Her blush deepens.
“If anything, I’m sad, because he’s leaving for college soon.
Devil College, I think. And he takes good care of me…
some of the time. I don’t know what I’ll do without him.
I just… I don’t want to go back to being forgotten.
I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m speaking so much. Sometimes, I talk too much.”
I touch her shoulder gently, but she stiffens, so I quickly pull my hand away. “Okay, Billie. Maybe you could go to college too. Would you like that?”
She smiles sadly. “No, I can’t go. But it’s okay. I don’t really mind.” She draws up her legs, hugging her knees. “I’m sorry I made you jump into the pool. I wasn’t drowning. I was just… floating.”
“Right.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Everest walking up, ready to look after my possibly suicidal daughter.
“Jane,” I say, turning to her. “I mean, Billie. Do you mind if I… if I hug you?”
She doesn’t look half as surprised as I would expect. “Okay,” she says. “Just as long as you don’t touch my feet.”
“Now, why the hell would I do that?” I ask as I pull her into a bear hug.
“No, sorry, I don’t know… I have a foot phobia.”
“Alright.” I don’t take the time to analyze those words, merely hugging her to me a lot harder than I mean to. I’m so used to loss. I’m already wondering if I’ll ever see her again.
“Okay, Billie. I’m going to look into that college thing. This is my friend Everest, and he’ll take care of you for a bit. Just until he’s sure you’re not planning to float in any more pools or hide from any more foster brothers. Okay?”
“Okay.” She nods as I turn, breaking out into a sprint to get to the car and try to make up for lost time. “Wait. Sorry! Uhm… what’s your name?”
I pause, turning back to catch a last glimpse of my daughter. “I’m Logan.”
“Logan, uhm… thank you. Thank you for the hug. And for finding me. I mean, in my hiding game.”
I give her a small, sad smile. “You’re welcome, Billie.”
_
“Don’t worry, Logan. There’s still time.”
“Now, how the hell can you possibly know that?”
I know he doesn’t, yet there’s something about his deep, warm voice that settles my nerves. It always has.
I lean into the steering wheel, my body so stiff my legs are cramping. The light drizzle from earlier has very suddenly turned into a thunderstorm, and even with the wipers on at full speed, I’m struggling to see.
It’s really fucking great timing, especially seeing as Vincent and Everest accessed some cameras that showed the bike reaching a house in the middle of the suburbs.
The roads out here aren’t even asphalt. Just gravel that’s turned muddy in the rain.
But with my own clothes still soaked from the pool, I’ve made up my mind to deal with the miserable wetness.
“I don’t know,” admits Damien. “I have a feeling, that’s all. But it’s a pretty good one. You’ve always been a lucky bastard.”
“Lucky isn’t exactly how I would describe myself,” I tell him bitterly. “Losing the girl I love for eighteen years… having to give up another daughter… finding out I have a third one when she’s already almost grown…”
“But you got Lia back. Piper’s safely tucked away in Oregon. And you just found Jane.”
I shake my head, unwilling to tear up once more. But I’m tired. So fucking tired.
“And I lost Lia again. I keep losing her. Piper won’t speak to me anymore. And I’m pretty sure Jane was trying to drown herself, and I left her…” I have to cut myself off. It’s just too hard.
“Everest is with her,” Damien tells me in his calm voice.
“You’re going to save Lia, and then you’ll go back to Jane and help her.
I’m sure Piper wants both you and Lia in her life.
But Quill is a controlling asshole. Honestly, I don’t get why she would fall in love with such a domineering, possessive jerk.
I mean, clearly you’ve been a good role model… ”
I can’t prevent the laugh that leaves my mouth. And it gives me the energy I need to focus. “Yeah, no clue where she gets that from. Okay. Go over what Vincent told you again.”
“Right.”
I do my best to listen as he launches into an explanation of the set-up of the place. A large white house that looks perfectly at home in a suburban street of large white houses. But this one has been taken over temporarily by the Puicin Gang.
“We’re going to get them,” Damien reassures me. “They’re on Devil ground here. Maybe the state answers to them, now, but Astley is still loyal to us. They can’t get away with this.”
“Okay.” I nod, trying to let his words reassure me, but despair is closing in on me. “Maybe it’s too late, though.”
“Yeah,” he admits, “but maybe it isn’t.”
At last, I reach the house and pull up right in front. I don’t care about being seen; it’s too late to care. I just need to get to Lia. I slam the car door shut behind me and bound up the steps leading to the front door.
“Now, remember,” begins Damien. “Don’t rush. That’s how you make mistakes. Just go through one room at a time and…”
Before he can finish his sentence, a massive explosion cuts through the night, blowing me backward onto the cold concrete ground.
The last thing I hear is Damien’s panicked cry from the phone. “Logan? Logan!”
Then darkness falls upon me.