44
Logan
Twenty-seven broken bones… twenty-seven broken bones…
“Logan? Logan? Can you hear me?”
“Fuck… ow…”
“Logan, I’m bringing you to safety. I’ll… I’ll wait until I know you’re okay. Then I have to leave, Logan. I’m sorry, I have to leave.”
“Lia, wait… stop… Lia…”
I reach out, trying to touch the beautiful vision that I can feel pulling me toward the car.
“I’m going to call Damien, and then I’ll leave.”
“Please, Lia!”
I try to hold onto her wrist, but she’s far too fast for me. She lifts it just out of reach, opening the car door. The metallic sound wakes me up fully, and I take in the sight of her, still in her tight red dress, only now it’s covered in dust, and a bazooka is strapped to her back.
“What the fuck…”
“You’re okay, Logan.” She pulls me up into the car, wincing with effort as she lies me down on the backseat and rests my head against something soft. I moan when I realize it’s her sweater and it smells like her.
“Please, Lia…”
“Hold on.” She takes my phone, which must have been blown with me onto the ground, but which miraculously still works.
She puts it to her ear, and I realize Damien is still at the other end of the line. “Logan? Are you okay? Logan!”
“This is Lia,” she says.
There’s a pause at the other end, and by now I’m conscious enough to realize that for the second time in his life, he’s surprised.
“Lia. Is Logan okay? Are… you… okay?”
“Logan needs medical attention. He hit his head on the concrete ground. I think he has a concussion.”
“Alright. And you?”
“I’m fucking fine. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry about me. I know you’re not worried about me, anyway. Is someone on his way?”
“Yeah. Sit tight, and…”
“No, I’m not sitting tight. I just wanted to make sure someone was coming for him.
Every single person in that house is dead, by the way.
I did that. I bit off a chunk of the man my father was indebted to and then killed him.
My father’s debt no longer exists. So fuck him, fuck you, and now, I’m leaving. ”
“Lia…” I groan.
“Now, wait a minute, Lia.” Damien’s smooth voice reaches me through the phone. “I know Logan loves you so much. He would do anything for you. I know he’ll figure it out… he’ll figure out a way to give you some of what you need. Some freedom, and…”
“No.” Lia shakes her head, her voice choked. “I don’t want some freedom. I want to be free. It’s too late now. He’s shown me that will never happen. As long as I’m with him, I’ll be a captive. I’m sorry.”
“Wait, Li—”
But she doesn’t let him finish, hanging up the phone. Then she turns to me, and I can see her eyes are glittering.
“I’m sorry, Logan. I do love you.”
“Lia, Lia…” I try to sit up as the cloudiness in my vision starts fading. But as it does, my mind grows sharper, and I realize it would be a lot better if I stayed down. Because as long as I do, she doesn’t view me as a threat.
“Lia, I have something to tell you. It’s about…” I drop my voice lower, making it sound shakier than I feel. “Jane.”
She stiffens, pausing in her movement to leave the car. “What about her?”
With a trembling hand, I beckon for her to come closer. “It… it hurts to speak…”
“Well, you’ve been speaking just fine up till now.” She eyes me suspiciously, but at last, giving in to her curiosity, she bends toward me.
“Closer, Lia… let me tell you about… Jane…”
Huffing out a frustrated breath, she bends even lower. So low I manage to wrap an arm around her back.
“Fuck! Logan! Stop that!” She tries desperately to break free from me, and she’s strong, but I’m stronger. Even in my weakened state, I’m stronger. It hurts like hell to hold her in my iron grip, but I would welcome any amount of pain if it meant keeping her.
“Please, stop, Logan!” Tears bubble up in her eyes. “Let me go! You’re hurting me, Logan!”
It’s so typical to hear her complaining about being hurt when I’m the one who’s hovering near unconsciousness, my body broken and bruised.
Then again, I guess she is hurting. She’s hurting a whole fucking lot, and it’s my fault.
But I’m a selfish piece of shit, and right now I don’t fucking care. Just as long as I get to keep her.
“Stop squirming, Lia,” I breathe into her ear. “Be a good girl for me and lie still, and let me tell you about Jane.”
_
“What about Jane?”
She’s sitting on my lap, her arms crossed, the bazooka resting on the passenger seat beside Igor.
Our brutish, semi-mute friend is the one Damien sent to help, and he arrived moments after I got Lia to stop struggling with the promise of telling her about our daughter. Before I could speak again, he’d slammed the door behind her, locked it, and gotten in behind the steering wheel.
I probably do have a concussion, because my vision keeps fading to black, but it doesn’t matter. It took most of the energy I had to sit up, and the remaining energy I had to pull Lia into my lap and lock my arms around her.
But she’s a good little captive. She knows she’s back in my cage, and she also knows it’s useless to fight it. She’s angry, I can tell, furious even, and devastated. But the need to know forces the question from her.
Now that she’s safely back in my arms, though, I’m not all that anxious to tell her. I don’t really know if it’s a good idea, anyway. I can barely believe I have found Jane, and I don’t know what would happen if I told Lia I had. I don’t know if it would make her stay or leave.
But it’s the fifth time she’s asked the question, so at last, I give in.
“I found her.”
“You… what?” She bolts up, and I crush her to me. “Where is she, Logan? Where?”
“Shh.” I rest my aching head against the space between her neck and her shoulder. “Be my good girl and… be quiet.”
“No, I won’t.” Her voice comes out tense. “I’m not your good girl, and I won’t be quiet. You can force my body back into captivity, Logan, but not my mind, or my heart. I don’t want to belong to you anymore. I don’t belong to you.”
“Okay, Lia. Okay.” Each of her words kills me, but I guess if it comes down to it, I’ll have to satisfy myself with just her body. “What can I do to make it right?”
“Nothing.” She swallows. “You can let me go.”
“That’s not going to happen, baby.”
“I know.” She tries to wipe away a tear, but I’ve got her pinned helplessly to me. “I know it won’t happen. I hate you, Logan.”
My own tears must wet her neck, because she turns to me in surprise. “Are you… crying?”
I don’t answer, merely hugging her to me closer, and crying against her dress. I don’t care that Igor’s behind the wheel, listening to the ugly sobs that leave me. I’m broken, horribly broken, and she’s the only one who can fix me, but she won’t.
“I don’t hate you,” she whispers at last. “Please don’t cry, Logan. I should hate you, but I don’t. I just need to be free. I’ve never known freedom before.”
“I’ll give you some freedom, Lia.”
“But that’s not enough.” She brings up a hand to wipe the tears that are now spilling out of her eyes in earnest, and this time, I let her. “Some freedom isn’t enough. Please, Logan.”
“Okay, Lia.” I rest my throbbing head against her shoulder. “Please stop talking, baby, and... let me think.”