17
Lia
Ican barely breathe, and I’m squeezing my hands together so hard it feels like I might crush them.
“A rapist,” repeats Damien, as if Logan hadn’t heard him the first time. “That’s what Carmelo Moretti is. Coltello just had to pay five girls half a million bucks to keep them from going to the police.”
Suddenly feeling a little woozy, I grab onto the car door handle.
No. More than a little woozy. Thank god the bagel is still resting uneaten in my lap, or I’m pretty sure I’d be retching my guts out right now.
Luckily, my stomach is empty, so all I can do is grip my knees.
Many horrible thoughts have tortured my mind since it happened.
But the idea that Carmelo could have hurt other girls the way he hurt me wasn’t one of them.
Fuck. Is it my fault? Am I the reason he hurt those other girls?
If I’d gone to the police… would they have been saved?
I never even thought of going to the police. And when papa found out, he didn’t suggest it.
Jealousy quickly takes the place of guilt. They get paid off by their rapist… but I’m forced to marry him?
Then self-loathing grips me, and I close my eyes, just trying to shut it all down.
“Know anything about that, Lia?” Damien’s cruel, mocking voice cuts me. “Know anything about Carmelo being a rapist?”
I turn from them, resting my head against the car seat, thankful that Aurora is sound asleep.
I can’t handle Damien’s voice. Or Logan’s… silence.
“Are you okay, Lia?” says Everest from behind the steering wheel. “He didn’t do that to you—did he?”
I keep my eyes squeezed shut, folding my arms around my body. I’m not okay. And he did do that. And I’m pretty sure none of them give a shit.
I don’t even know why Damien brought it up. Maybe to show them just how repulsive I am. Make sure Logan doesn’t go soft. How can he possibly go soft now that he sees how filthy I am?
“What now, Logan?” asks Damien quietly.
I can’t feel Logan’s body beside me. I did, before, because this back seat is too small to fit us comfortably. But he must be leaning against the other side, contorting his body to keep it from touching mine.
That’s how much I disgust him.
I choke down a sob, but I can’t help the tear that breaks free. I don’t want to cry. I really don’t want to fucking cry.
He’s going to gloat about it, and I just can’t fucking handle that.
“Well, Logan?” persists Damien. “What’s the plan?”
“The plan?” Logan marks a very long pause, and then says, “The plan is to get another fucking plane. Pass me my phone. It’s up front.”
I don’t want to look, but I just can’t keep from peeking first at Damien, who’s never looked more shocked, then at the phone that he passes to Logan.
The latter has that neutral, frightening expression he wore on his phone calls with Dario and Carmelo.
The one that always precedes him completely losing his shit with me.
I twist toward the car seat, the sharp plastic and metal edges cutting into my skin as I try to create distance between us.
He doesn’t even glance at me, bringing up the phone to call Carmelo.
“Yeah?” he says, as soon as the latter picks up.
“Damien is a fucking idiot, but I’ve still got your wife, and I still have every intention of bringing her to you.
Uh huh. Right. Yeah. Really? Fuck, man. Damn.
How the hell did that happen? Where? Yeah?
Forget about it. I can go to Idaho. Want to get another plane?
Uh huh? Right. Yeah. Well, before you do…
okay, I’ve been thinking. I’m really not feeling Idaho, you know what I’m saying?
Your dad is super focused on the Syndicate.
And he’s got some spring cleaning to do.
Gotta catch that rat. Mhm hmm. That’s what I was thinking.
We can meet halfway. Okay. Text me the address. ”
I’m so tense that every cell in my body is aching from the strain. He hasn’t changed his mind about bringing me to Carmelo. That’s not a surprise. At least, it shouldn’t be. Wasn’t I just telling myself that if he learned what had happened to me, it would repulse him?
Why does it make my chest hurt that the man who’s spent the past few days threatening me with death is entirely unaffected to learn about my rape?
But it feels like something is breaking inside me.
When I look up again, my eyes cross Damien’s, and I realize that he feels bad for me. It really is a shitty life when the cruelest bully from my past actually pities me.
That thought is enough to jerk me out of my spiral. Aurora is still sleeping beside me, but I gingerly take one of her small hands in mine, and the touch of it calms me.
I need to get the fuck out of here. I need to… run.
The second this car stops, Aurora, we’re running.
_
“Guess we’re going on that road trip after all, huh?”
Damien’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
“I am,” Logan says, gritting his teeth. “Not you.”
“Oh?” Damien raises an eyebrow.
“Three more guys are dead. Coltello just briefed Carmelo. This thing is turning into a fucking mob war. Carmelo tried to act brave, but I’m pretty sure he’s shitting his pants far more than the boss is.
They have no idea who’s behind it all, but they’re thinking it’s a real insurrection.
He got you another plane. He needs you back now. ”
“So much for the vacation,” sighs Damien. “Coltello’s convinced it’s one guy, acting on his own.”
“Coltello doesn’t know shit. Anyway, whatever’s going on, the family needs to contain that shit fast. I’m not going to bring her to Idaho.” I shiver at the sound of that cold word: her. “I’ll meet him halfway.”
“Yeah?” Damien turns back toward us and studies Logan carefully. “You’re doing this for Carmelo, I guess? To help him out? Hmm?”
“Everyone’s putting a lot of pressure on him. But he’s not the type to let some other guy deal with a girl who’s wronged him.”
“Uh huh.”
“So I am helping him out. Bringing her to him, but being discreet, so there’s no friction with the others. They don’t want him to be focusing on her when there’s a fucking war about to break out.”
“Mhm hmm. So that’s why you’re doing it. How noble of you.”
Logan’s jaw clenches. I can tell their interaction is dripping with subtext, but I’m at a loss to decode it. “Yeah, Damien, that’s why I’m doing it,” he lashes out. “And it is noble.”
“Okay, okay.” Damien puts his feet up on the dashboard. “So that means you’re driving back by yourself?”
“No. I’m keeping Everest.”
Everest slams down on his brakes, sending me hurtling forward. “Why the fuck do I need to stay? I’m not helping you bring back your girl to a fucking rapist. Count me the fuck out.”
“She’s not my girl,” hisses Logan, choosing to object to that word, and ignoring the rest. Which causes my chest to tighten, even though it’s stupid. He’s already made it clear how little he cares. And I’ve already decided I’m running.
“I wasn’t thinking you’d help me with that,” says Logan smoothly. “I need a babysitter.”
“Fuck you, man! I’m not a fucking nanny!”
“Fine. I just figured you wouldn’t want the kid to see what I’m going to do to her mother.”
Once more, Everest pushes down on the brakes so suddenly that he sends us all careening forward. Damien lets out a spew of curse words, but the terror gripping me is entirely foreign to the accident we’ve narrowly avoided.
“Fucking hell!” barks Damien. “Need to go back to driving school, Everest? Pull the fuck over, I’m driving.”
“Where am I supposed to pull over?” growls the latter. “We’re on the highway.”
“Take the next exit,” cuts in Logan. “That’s the way to the airport.”
Everest swerves the car without putting on his turn signals, nearly crashing into a truck. Damien slams his fist against the dashboard, but Logan’s fury is clearly unrelated. Just like my fear.
A heavy silence fills the car as Everest drives down a number of roads before reaching a small private airport.
“Well, it was fun while it lasted,” says Damien, getting out of the car. I hear him open the trunk and lift out a small suitcase. Then he stops by Logan’s window.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, man.”
“Fuck off, Damien,” mutters Logan, which is apparently his version of a goodbye. “I’ll see you later.”
Yet another shrug, and Damien turns his back to us.
“Alright,” growls Logan, as he unbuckles his own seatbelt and opens the car door. “Get out, Everest. You too.” He averts his eyes as he unbuckles my seatbelt, and pulls me out. He’s definitely not being gentle about it, but at least, he’s not yanking me around quite as much as usual.
Huffing out in annoyance, Everest leaves the driver’s seat and walks slowly around to the back. Logan pushes me in the passenger seat without a word, slams the door after me, and then settles himself in the driver’s seat.
I don’t know why being just a few feet away from Aurora suddenly sends me into a panic. I’ve been separated from her plenty recently. Maybe it’s because I’ve decided to run, and I’m realizing just how hard that will be, if Logan continues to separate us.
But I just can’t let him bring me back to Carmelo.
The thought causes me to hunch over, clutching my knees. I feel like I’m going to be sick again.
“Hey.”
The voice startles me, even more than the touch on my back that accompanies it, because of the softness in it.
“Hey. I gave you my word before. I’m not going to hurt her.”
I slowly raise my eyes to him. When I search his face, I can’t find any sign that he’s lying. I can’t find any sign of cruelty either. And yet, I know he’s cruel. Which means he is a liar.
“I don’t believe you,” I say harshly.
His hand leaves my back abruptly, and the absence of it burns me. “Well, you should,” he says shortly.
Then he turns the car around, heading back out on the highway.