Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
AVERY
“So you wanted to get away from the town, so you brought us to the diner?” I ask, looking up at the building in front of us through the windshield of my car.
“Well, yes, but as you saw, most people are at the hill still, not here. I figured it would be safe. Plus, Nancy knows what table I like, and it’s a little hidden.”
“Well, aren’t you a man of mystery,” I laugh, reaching for the door handle. “And here I thought you’d become a recluse since getting back to town.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “Staying at my parents’ place isn’t productive.”
“What do you mean?” I let go of the handle and turn to face him.
“I’ve been trying to catch up on my own work after the store closes, but it’s hard when my dad’s hobbling around and my mom is trying to cater to him and insist that my life choices are less than stellar.”
“Oh.” My heart sinks, thinking of what he must feel like. Going to his childhood home after a long day of running a store that he never wanted to be a part of, only to be pulled away from his actual job.
“Yeah. So, I’ve been coming to the diner and getting a few hours of work done at night. Nancy’s been great about tucking me away in the back corner and keeping me supplied with coffee.”
My eyes search his, trying to find what he’s not really telling me.
I know there’s more to it than a hovering mom and injured dad.
I start to get more of a glimpse into the sadness that I’ve always thought followed him around.
It’s one that I can’t even imagine, as my family is so different.
My parents have always been encouraging and accepting, even when I told them I was accepting a job as an elf.
“I’m so sorry that you’ve had to do that. You must be exhausted.”
He shrugs, looking down at his hands braced on his legs before peering up at the cafe in front of us, not saying a word.
This only renews my determination to help him see that there are good things around. It doesn’t have to be Christmas or the town, but that there are people who love and care for him, regardless of being related to him.
I want nothing more than to reach my hand over and take his.
I don’t miss the way the tips of his fingers dig into his jeans, his knuckles white as he clings on.
I don’t know what’s stopping me at the moment, whether it’s fear of being rejected or not wanting to interrupt whatever’s going on in his mind right now, but something does.
Maybe it’s because I don’t have the right to do something so intimate, even if we have already kissed and held hands.
But we aren’t out in front of anyone. There’s no one around to convince.
It’s not my place. Not as a fake girlfriend, even though the last few days have felt anything but fake.
Not all the kisses he’s given me have been for show, and they certainly didn’t feel like they weren’t real. At least, they didn’t to me.
But then I thought everything I shared with Maxwell was real, too. Maybe I’m not a reliable source.
And our time in the garden crosses my mind. There wasn’t anyone around for that either. So, am I just too much in my head? Am I overthinking things….again?
Taking a deep breath, I know I need to take charge of the situation, or we’ll be stuck out here in my car all evening.
“Why don’t we go in and you can show me this table?” The corner of my mouth ticks up into a smile. Even though he’s not looking at me, I hope he feels the warmth in my words. When he doesn’t move or respond, I turn back to my door.
“Wait.” Matthew places his hand on my arm, stilling my movements. “I just want to say thank you.”
“For what?” I ask, turning to him, and fighting with ever fibre of my body not to look down at his hand on my arm. It’s such an innocent thing, and yet it feels like some sort of declaration. A declaration of what? I don’t know. But it feels like something.
“For understanding.” He takes a deep breath before turning and meeting my gaze. “I don’t like big crowds.”
“I never would have guessed,” I tease.
“Or having a bunch of attention on me,” he admits, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of red.
“What? You? No!” I gasp, clutching my chest with my hand dramatically with a smile. “Matthew, there’s no need to thank me. I could tell you weren’t loving the attention and needed to leave, so we left. It’s no big deal.”
“But it is a big deal,” he pleads.
We sit in the silence of the car for a moment, letting his words hang between us.
I’m not sure what to say, because I’ve never felt the way he does.
Crowds don’t bother me, and I’ve done enough training and presentations for work that I’m no longer phased by speaking in front of people.
It’s now that I realize just how different my life is from Matthew’s, but yet we still have the common bond of being hurt by those that were supposed to love us.
“Well…” I start, clearing my throat and pasting on a smile that I don’t quite feel. “The most important part is that you took the chance and got on that toboggan. And we won!”
“Yes, we did.” That cute smile of his returns. If I’m not mistaken, I also think there’s a hint of a dimple under his dark beard.
He just keeps getting cuter and cuter.
“We should get inside. You know, before someone spots us.” He doesn’t move. His eyes are trained on me as if he’s searching for something; much like I was doing before. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah.” He hesitates for another moment before taking his hand off my arm and peeling himself out of my car.
I’m so shaken from his sudden change and quick exit that I sit stunned for a moment. It’s not until my door opens and Matthew is standing there with a smile on his face and his hand out that I realize that I have flutters in my stomach and my heart has picked up its pace.
I’m here. With Matthew.
He very easily could have ended our day after the race. He didn’t have to ask me to stay and hang around with him. We aren’t here to be ‘seen’ as a couple; he just wanted to spend time with me.
Me.
Without thinking about it too hard, I place my hand in his and let him help me out of the car. He’s such a gentleman, closing the car door and waiting for me to lock it before gently guiding me to the diner.
“Matthew! Are you looking for your usual table?” Nancy asks loudly from behind the counter she’s wiping as soon as we walk in.
“Hi, Nancy. Yes, please, if it’s available.”
The server motions to the empty dining space with a chuckle “I think you’re okay. Take a seat and I’ll be right with you. Avery, it’s good to see you again. I’m glad you took my advice to come in tonight.”
“Thank you, Nancy.”
He leads me through empty tables until we reach the back corner. It’s a booth tucked away with high walls that block any view in or out from the main dining area. He helps me shrug off my jacket and hangs in on a hook on the end of the wall before taking off his own and hanging it beside mine.
“You weren’t kidding. This is really secluded,” I say, scooting into the bench seat of the booth. I don’t slide as gracefully across the red imitation leather seat as I’d like, but thankfully, Matthew doesn’t seem to notice my less-than-elegant entry into the booth.
While I’m thankful he didn’t see my debacle, he seems distracted, and I don’t know why. Taking his own—incredibly more graceful—seat across from me in the booth, he doesn’t meet my gaze before grabbing his menu, his eyes glossing over the words.
‘Well, if it isn’t our toboggan winners!” Nancy says, walking up to the table with a pot of coffee in her hand. “Coffee, Matthew?”
“Please.” He takes the down turned mug in front of him and flips it around, placing it in front of Nancy.
“And what can I get you, hun?” she asks as she pours Matthew’s coffee.
“A peppermint tea, please,” I say, shooting Matthew an inquisitive look. “How do you know about the race already?”
“Oh, honey. This is Gingerbread Grove. I had the play-by-play on the app-thing as you two were shooting down the mountain. The video was perfect! Without it, no one would believe Matthew here got onto the back of one!” She laughs, the slight lines around her eyes becoming more apparent.
“Sorry, the app?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at Matthew, but he shrugs and looks just as confused as I am.
“Yes, GingerSnap. Hasn’t your mom mentioned anything about it or gotten you on it yet?
” She asks Matthew, who replies with wide eyes and a slow-shaking head.
“Well, then. I can’t say I was a fan of it when the city council first introduced it, especially with most of the town being us older folks and liking the good ol’ fashioned way of face-to-face gossip and news, but I have to say I’m warming up to it!
You should download it and get connected since you’re back in town. ”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m just here for the holidays, Nancy…”
“Don’t you worry about that. Once a Gingerbreadian, always a Gingerbreadian,” she says with a warm smile. “I’ll be right back with your tea.” She strolls off leaving us alone once again.
Matthew lets out a deep sigh before picking up his menu again.
“Spill it.”
“Look, it’s nothing. Really. I guess I’m just overwhelmed with everything from today, and now knowing it’s recorded on some app for everyone to see. I don’t know, it’s a lot.”
I sit watching him for a moment, knowing there’s more to the story he isn’t telling me, but I decide it’s best not to push him.
It’s not like our relationship is real. Sure, he asked to spend more time with me today, but what if he just doesn’t want to be alone?
He’s already said being at his parents’ place isn’t the most comfortable.
He probably just asked me to join him because otherwise he’d be alone.
Or maybe he was just being polite. He did say that he did his own work after hours. Maybe I’m distracting him from that? I would hate to be the reason that he was falling behind on his own commitments.