Chapter Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Seven Four months later…
“Happy Birthday!” I sing. “Well, you’re thirty in Thailand anyway. What time is it there?”
Hattie laughs down the line, her familiar emo music playing in the background.
“It’s just gone five. I’m not even ready yet. We’re leaving in two hours.”
Hattie’s birthday is New Year’s Day and our friend Sam’s birthday is New Year’s Eve.
It’s a whole thing. Every year I’ve known them, they’ve celebrated it together and I’ve always been there, along with our other friend Priya.
In fact, this is the first time since we were eighteen that I haven’t celebrated New Year’s Eve with them and for a moment I experience a sinking feeling.
Am I homesick?
I look out of our beachside shack and stare at the moonlit beach, the sea sparkling. Gus is strolling along the water, his naked silhouette dipping his toes and glancing back to see if I’m joining. The fireworks have settled down at the resort now, leaving a serene charm.
Nah. I’m exactly where I want to be.
“How’s Thailand?” she asks.
I sigh, happily. “Totally remote and very quiet.”
“Love that for you. Does that mean you’ve had lots of privacy?”
“Yep. Lots. I think some of the staff recognise him but we’re staying out of the way. We’ve barely left…”
“The bed,” Hattie finishes for me.
“The shack… But sure.”
The past couple of months have been a total whirlwind. I’ve been trying to juggle work while sneaking away to different houses, hotels and city breaks, trying to keep our relationship under wraps. Dare I say, it’s been fun. Almost exhilarating.
But we’re not stupid.
I know that at some point we’re going to be spotted together again and I’m going to have to accept whatever that means.
Because the alternative is not having Gus.
Grace has been laying the foundations publicity wise, pressing secrets into the right palms, as she puts it, and tells me that the storm will feel bumpy at first but with all PR, something else will take the spotlight before you know it and then we’ll be forgotten about.
“Well, next year,” Hattie says, “Gus is coming to our party.”
“Agreed. I’m very sad to miss tonight. Have a special birthday and mess Sam’s hair up for me because I’m not there to do it myself.”
“It will be a pleasure,” she says. “Right, go and enjoy yourself. We’ll catch up when you’re back.”
We hang up and I head out to join Gus. I’ve been in this bikini most of the day, dipping into the sea, sunbathing, a spa treatment then back in the sea again. It’s been dreadful, as you can imagine.
Gus has taken a seat in the sand, hugging his knees. He glances back at me and although I can’t see his face, I can imagine his secret smile. His curls have been unruly since we arrived and he’s been blaming it on the sun but really, it’s because I can’t keep my hands off them.
I slowly peel my bikini top off which makes him twist some more, using his hand to lean backwards. Then, because I love his reactions to my body, I push the bottoms down too, working incredibly hard to make stepping out of them look sexy and not clumsy.
By the time I’ve reached him, Gus is on his belly reaching out to my ankles like a touch-starved man. Something he is most certainly not. Especially this week.
He tugs on my leg so that I can’t help but collapse beside him, and he rolls on top of me. His hands brush my hair back from my face, his lips trailing kisses down the side of my neck.
“Have your friends forgiven me for stealing you away?” he asks.
I shrug. “Are you kidding? Hattie is very happy about this situation.”
“She is?”
“Obviously she is completely heartbroken and beside herself that I’m not with her.”
“How couldn’t she be?” Gus jokes.
“But she loves that I’m being reckless.”
“Mmm.” Gus presses a kiss to my lips. “You are being very reckless, look at you. Naked on the beach.”
“We have this beach to ourselves. You’ve been naked for hours. Nobody will see.”
“You’re right. This isn’t reckless at all. We should up our game,” he mumbles, running his hand down my front and pressing on my clit, kissing my neck until I’m gasping into the starry night sky.
And I have let loose a bit. I’m back to my old, wild self. But… “Fuck. No. This is totally illegal and we do not need that PR.”
“You say that but whenever one of us got arrested back in the day, especially abroad, our sales would increase.”
“Beside the point,” I say, squirming from underneath him and bouncing onto my feet. “We have a beautiful beach shack right there.” I start heading towards it, picking up my discarded bikini as I go. I hear him puffing behind me and then he sprints past, racing me back to the bed.
“Hey!” I complain, adrenaline hitting me in the best damn way, grabbing his arm and half-racing, half-tackling him to the shack, hitting the bed in a jumble of sandy limbs and lips and hands. He kisses me, his curls falling over his eyes.
“Thank you for putting up with all this. I can’t say the next year will be any easier.”
I run my fingers over his face, pinching his chin. “Good thing I like you.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Only like?”
“And that’s pushing it to be honest. I think you’re bearable. I’m only with you because your…”
“I know, my massive—”
“—Cotswold house.”
He laughs. “Exactly.” He drops his head to kiss my collarbone and whispers, “But also, I’m horribly, frighteningly, never leave me, I’d go to prison for you, in love with you,” he says.
“Even when you’re mean to me to compensate for your huge, beautiful, unmanageable feelings.
But don’t worry, we can keep that between us. ”
I can’t fight the smile. “I hate how much I love you.”
“It’s inconvenient for you, isn’t it?”
“Is it,” I quip, “But it’s a burden I’m willing to accept.”
He laughs into my neck, rising above me. I run my hand down his front and guide him into me, enjoying the ragged sounds he makes. Then, there’s nothing more to say, because we’re both exactly where we’re meant to be.