22. Thea
twenty-two
Aset of jagged, black claws clutched the thin, yellow fabric at the hem of the figure’s dress. More gnarled fingers reached up from the cliff’s edge, grazing her bare ankle. A wicked, winged creature rose from the dark haze that enshrouded the cliff’s base. It snatched at her hair with its sharp beak.
But the figure didn’t turn to welcome them. Instead, she tilted her face toward the sun and reached out a hand. In her palm sat a golden butterfly. Another, with kaleidoscope wings, fluttered near her nose. Several more butterflies danced through the sunlight ahead. With her next deliberate step, the demons would lose their grip, and she would follow the beauty.
I gazed at my work for a few more minutes, adjusted some colors, and then signed it with T.T. It was done— my masterpiece. Usually, I came into my studio to paint when I was hurting, but tonight, I came to finish this story. I finally knew how it ended. After Levi and I spent hours exploring each other, falling harder for each other, I drifted into a peaceful, happy sleep. The butterflies and demons crept into my dreams, and I awoke with a smile on my lips.
“Angels and demons.”
Levi’s sleepy voice from the doorway startled me. I turned to look at him and felt that stupid flip-flop in my belly. Butterflies. “Yeah, I guess that’s the idea.” I smiled.
“That’s incredible.” He walked into the room and leaned in to admire my work. He was shirtless, and his messy hair begged me to run my fingers through it. I almost did before I remembered that my hands were covered in paint.
Oh well. We could shower together after this. I grabbed his face and kissed him, smearing paint all over his jaw. Levi melted into me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and lifted me. I hooked my legs around his hips, not breaking our kiss.
Did he know he was my golden butterfly? He kissed me like he knew. Levi’s lips trailed down my neck, and he whispered, “It’s like 2 am. Are you coming back to bed? I like sleeping next to you.” He smirked, nipped at my lips, and added, “And fucking you. I definitely wouldn’t mind doing that again tonight. My therapist told me that a good way to get over anxiety is to do the thing that scares you over and over and over again.” His eyes flirted, and his lips played with mine.
I smirked back at him and ran my hands down his chest, leaving black, gold, and yellow streaks. He watched my hands with an eyebrow raised. Levi set me down in the center of my studio. Then he gripped the hem of my black t-shirt, locking eyes with me. I obeyed his unspoken instructions and lifted my arms so he could remove my shirt. I stood in front of him, wearing nothing but a black lace thong. The bulge in Levi’s boxers confirmed that he thoroughly approved of what he saw.
Next, he picked up a tube of deep purple paint and squeezed out a thick line across my breasts. He locked me in a purposeful gaze while he massaged the paint into my skin. I slowly turned purple from my neck to my hips. Levi wasn’t shy about touching me anymore. His paint-covered hands were so sure. Damn, that was sexy. I wanted to give myself a little credit for the strong, confident version of Levi that stood before me now, but it had nothing to do with me. This man was inside all along.
Levi’s hands gently circled the back of my neck, and his thumbs brushed my cheeks. He tilted my head up and leaned in for a slow, deep kiss. Then he grabbed a tube of sunset yellow paint. He applied it between my breasts, smearing it to the left with his fingers. I laughed and shook my head. “Wrong color. My heart is black.”
Levi smiled back at me. “That’s what you keep telling me, but I’ve yet to see it for myself.” He pulled me against his chest, and I looped my arms around his neck. I couldn’t keep my lips off of his, and when he hooked his thumbs on the waistband of my underwear and yanked it down, the butterflies came rushing through me in droves.
I didn’t stop kissing him for even two seconds so he could get his damn boxers off. I wanted his boxers off, but I couldn’t pull away. I tangled my hands in his hair, kissing him fiercely, passionately, with an authentic, gnawing need. He met my need for his lips while still somehow managing to shimmy out of his boxers.
Levi lifted me and set me on the vintage dresser I used for paint storage. My legs automatically opened for him, and I moaned into his lips when I felt him push into me. The paint all over our bodies mixed with our sweat and passion as he pounded into me over and over again.
Sex should always feel like this— a perfect mix of excitement and need all wrapped up in that home feeling.
I awoke to the smell of coffee and waffles. Levi. He didn’t have to be so adorable all the time. My body aches begged me to stay in bed this morning, but my need to see the man in my kitchen demanded that I get up.
So I got up. Duh.
Levi turned and smiled when I entered the kitchen. He set two mugs in front of me, both yellow, one with chamomile tea and one with coffee. I narrowed my eyes. “Where’d you find another yellow mug? I’m positive I only have the one.”
He shrugged. “I bought you another. Actually, it was a four-pack, so you can always have your tea in a yellow mug, even if the dishes aren’t done.”
I fought the smile pulling at my lips. “Shut up.”
Levi sipped his coffee from one of my black mugs. “No.”
I wrapped my arms around him, nestling my head against his chest. “Are you sure you have to go back to Utah today?”
“Thea,” he teased, “Are you going to miss the shit out of me or something? That’s so cute that you want me all the time.”
“Shut up.”
“No.”
“Kiss me then.”
Levi set his coffee on my counter and obeyed, letting his hands travel slowly down my body as his lips played with mine. Finally, he broke our kiss and sighed. “I don’t want to go back to Utah. There are only two weeks left in the semester, though, and it would be screwing the school over to quit right now. I’ll finish my classes, and then I can come visit for a couple of weeks.”
“And after that?” The question flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. I wasn’t the kind of girl that craved commitment like this. Ew.
Levi studied my face for a moment. Embarrassed by my neediness, I tried to look away, but he caught my chin with his finger and tilted my face up to look at him. “What do you want to happen after that?”
I could play it cool and turn this into a joke. That’s what the emotionally unavailable Thea would have done. But we were more than that, weren’t we? I could be vulnerable with Levi. I could say what I wanted.
I looked right into his gorgeous brown eyes. “I want to do life with you. It’s wrong to pretend like there’s not something incredible between us. Nothing will get better than this right now, at least not for me. This is what I want. You are what I want.” My heart pounded as I awaited his reaction to my intense honesty.
Levi smiled and kissed my forehead and then my lips. “I want this, too. So maybe in two weeks I should quit my job and move here. Would that be crazy?”
I smiled and nodded. “Yes, completely crazy. That’s why I love the idea so much.”
Levi released me and pulled two plates from my cupboard. He placed a stack of waffles on each and carried them to my table, looking thoughtful. “I’ve known it’s time to leave Utah for a while now. I didn’t know if it would be too soon or too much for you if I moved here.”
I grabbed a tub of whipped cream and a bottle of maple syrup from my fridge and joined Levi at my table. “It took thirteen days for you to snap me out of the most numb depression I’d ever felt in my life. No one could do that, not even Lenny. How could you ever be too much for me?” I had about ten seconds of vulnerability left before implosion. “And you said yourself, it feels like we’ve known each other forever.” And vulnerability over.
I opened the tub of whipped cream and scooped some up with my finger. I flung it across the table at Levi’s face to end the seriousness. The cream landed on his chin. He laughed but made no move to clean it up. Instead, he stared at me with teasing heat in his gaze. “I guess you better get over here and clean up this mess you made.” He patted his lap.
“Oh damn.” I straddled him. “One more fuck before you have to leave?”
“At least one more.”