Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Zane
Morning eased in slow—its soft light creeping across the floor and climbing the bed, inching toward our tangled limbs that I had no intention of untangling anytime soon. I couldn’t. Not when Andi was curled into me like I was the only thing holding her together.
Hell, maybe I was.
She’d felt…restless against me last night.
Not in a tossing-and-turning way, but subtler.
A sudden twitch in her shoulders. The uneven rhythm of her breaths.
The way her hand kept moving, like it was searching for something.
Me? But it was those full-body shivers that really did me in, because whatever it was that chased her in her sleep was enough to make her flinch hard enough to shake the damn bed.
Maybe she was reliving the fireworks or—fuck, I didn’t even want to think it—reliving something else. Something Heath had tormented her with.
Heath.
The bastard had a name now.
Hearing her whisper it in the dark hit me like an arrow to the heart, because it made him real.
Not just some faceless nightmare that haunted her, but a man who’d violated her and broken her in ways I, myself, couldn’t imagine doing to another human being, let alone one I cared about.
I hated him—hated him for everything he’d stolen from her.
Every ounce of trust. Every shred of safety.
But as we lay there, with her cheek on my chest and my entire arm going numb beneath the soft weight of her, the part of me that wanted to tear him apart and make him pay for every scar he’d left behind immediately turned into something else: this quiet, undeniable awe that she’d trusted me enough to give his name.
It damn near split me open.
She hadn’t gone into details, hadn’t had to.
The name alone was enough because she’d finally let me in and handed me a part of her that had been locked up tight since our paths crossed weeks ago.
And I wasn’t about to let anything, not even the part of me that wanted to obliterate Heath, take that from her.
A tiny movement against me broke through my thoughts, bringing me back to the here and now…and the woman sleeping in my arms.
Andi stirred, stretching slowly in that unconscious, half-asleep way that made me want to grin and curse because…
well, those sleepy little sounds she made were downright adorable.
But at the same time, while the upper parts of her body snuggled and flexed into the warmth of my chest all cute like, her lower parts pressed into me in ways that had me clenching my jaw and wondering what I did to deserve this kind of torture.
Her left leg was fine, stretched out along mine.
But her right leg? Her right leg was killing me.
She’d slung that thing over me at some point during the night, draping her thigh over both of mine and trapping me in the most maddening way possible…
because I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
Not now. Not when she’d only asked for comfort.
But my body didn’t give a shit about any of that.
My dick was rock hard, straining against the thin cotton of my boxer briefs, as every brush of her silky thigh sparked a heat through me that I had no business feeling right now.
It would’ve been so easy, though, to shift…
to roll…to let instinct take over. But that wasn’t who I got to be with her.
Hell, it wasn’t who I wanted to be with her.
I didn’t want Andi just to have her—just because she’d happened to fall asleep tangled up with a man who’d been celibate so long he could barely remember what sex felt like. It was more than that. So much more…
I wanted to be the place she came back to when the world got scary.
The place she trusted. The place she knew would never take more than she was ready to give.
I wanted to be the man she called when something went wrong, not because she had to, but because she knew I’d show up.
Every time. No questions asked. I wanted to be the man she deserved to have—one who reminded her every damn day that she was more than what that ex of hers had tried to reduce her to.
I wanted it all…even the fights, because I knew we’d have them, and I wanted to be the man who loved her through those as much as the easy days.
All too suddenly, my stomach bottomed out.
Back up a sec…loved?
My gut clenched as the word floated into my mind for the second time. It felt like I’d been sucker punched, stealing the air right out of my chest.
Shit…loved?
No, it wasn't that. Couldn't be. Except…except maybe it was. Because every thought I had these days circled right back to her. And everything I wanted for myself…had her at the center.
In the blink of an eye, I’d gone from a man who’d sworn off all of this to a man lying here—rock hard and lovesick—wanting things that scared the shit out of me.
But I wasn’t about to admit to any of that out loud.
Not now, at least. Andi was in no shape for me to be professing anything that even resembled love, and I…
I needed to let this simmer some more. Sit with it.
Make sure it wasn’t just the high of having her in my arms, or the fact that I’d gone too long without this kind of closeness.
So…I stayed still. Locked my jaw. Let her breath fan across my skin and the warmth of her palm brand my ribs, while my body screamed for relief and my heart reminded me why I couldn’t move an inch.
But then her lashes fluttered against my chest as she stretched again, emitting a small sound that was something between a sigh and a hum, before blinking up at me.
And because I couldn’t help myself, I reached for her and traced my fingertips along her hairline, brushing her dark hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.
And because I really couldn’t help myself, I let my hand settle there in that space just below her ear—fingers threading into her hair as my thumb grazed the small space where her jaw met her cheek.
“Mornin’,” I murmured as her doe eyes slowly focused on me, blinking at me again and again like she wasn’t quite convinced that I was really there and not just a figment of her imagination.
A soft, sleepy smile pulled at her lips. “You stayed.”
It was my turn to blink at her then. “Of course I stayed. You asked me to.” My eyes narrowed slightly as I turned that over in my head, because it was so damn simple to me and yet she looked at me like it wasn’t simple at all. “You sleep okay?”
She sighed and nuzzled back into my warmth, nodding. “Better than I thought I would. You?”
“Just fine.” The lie fell a little too easily from my mouth, but I wasn’t about to let her in on how every noise she’d made, every twitch in my arms, snapped me awake throughout the entire night—instantly filling me with worry.
I’d soothed her the only way I knew how and just held her as I whispered “you’re safe” about a hundred times.
So, no, I hadn’t slept—I’d stood guard…and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
Andi made a soft noise then, one that I couldn’t quite tell if it was a moan or a groan, as she twisted her foot and wiggled her toes…right against the outside of my thigh.
God. Help. Me.
“What time is it?” she asked in a sleep-heavy voice.
I stretched my arm out, careful not to jostle her too much, and snagged my phone off the nightstand. “Almost nine.”
“Nine?” Her head popped up from my chest as her wide eyes met mine.
“Oh my God, Zane, we overslept! The chickens probably hate me, now that I’ve let them starve.
” She flopped back against me and the bed with a dramatic sigh.
“They’re gonna let that rooster murder me and not even flap a wing.
” She sighed again and started to push away from me. “We need to—”
“Hey,” I said with a low chuckle, cutting her off gently and pulling her back into me before she could fully untangle herself. “Take a breath. We’re right where we need to be.”
“But the chores—”
“The ranch isn’t going to fall apart without us for one morning. Luke can play the responsible one for once.”
That earned me the tiniest huff of a laugh.
“Okay, so if Luke’s the responsible one for once…” The tips of her fingers ghosted over my chest, making lazy shapes through the light dusting of hair that sent even more of my blood southbound. “What does that make you?”
I couldn’t think straight—not with her touching me like that and her leg still hooked over mine, making every nerve in my body beg for more. I was helpless. Hopeless. And undeniably so lost in those eyes that my brain never stood a chance at stopping me from the words that tumbled out of my mouth.
“The reckless one.”
And before she could fire back with that quick wit of hers, I leaned in. Slow. Intentional. Giving her all the time in the world to stop me if she wanted to. But she didn’t. Her lips parted—just the slightest bit on the sweetest inhale—and, damn, if I didn’t take that as a yes.
But just as I was about to close that last breath of space between us, she jerked back fast and slapped a hand over her mouth like a reflex.
“What are you doing?” she blurted, her voice muffled against her palm as her eyes went wide with a skepticism that had my own curiosity piquing. “You can’t kiss me right now. I have morning breath.”
That got me, and I barked out a laugh—loud and sharp. “Darlin’, you drooled all over me last night. I think it’s safe to say that I’m not gonna be scared off by a little morning breath.”
Andi’s eyes flew wide then as she sucked in a horrified gasp. “I did not drool.”
“Oh, but you did,” I teased, pointing at my chest where she in fact did not drool, but I was having too much fun egging her on to bother with the truth. Plus, I liked seeing that fire in her eyes. “Right here.”