Chapter Fourteen
As Edward and I finish up the session, there is a knock at the door and Sam bursts in without waiting.
‘Aren’t you guys done yet?’ she calls out as Edward frowns.
‘Please wait until I answer the door, Samira. We could’ve been in the middle of something.’
She raises her eyebrows. ‘Oh yeah? What kind of thing would the two of you be in the middle of, eh?’
She giggles but Edward’s face is thunder. ‘Samira!’ he sounds appalled and – I note with offence – a bit disgusted.
Sam tuts. ‘All right, Mr Professional!’ She holds up her hands in surrender.
‘Sorry for barging in, I won’t do it again.
’ She moves breezily past him and into the room.
‘But Liv doesn’t have any secrets from me anyway.
’ She shrugs. ‘Plus, I thought you guys would be finished by now. You’ve overrun by fifteen minutes as it is. ’
‘Have we?’ I check my watch. She’s right, I hadn’t realised.
I suddenly feel a little shy and embarrassed. It’s bad enough that Fabian and the studio have forced Edward to give me these sessions against his will, and now I’ve taken up more of his day than I was entitled to.
Sam moves closer to Edward, openly looking him up and down with a greedy expression.
To be fair, he does look even more Edward today than usual.
The suit is immaculate, the hair glossy, that stupid jaw all square and clean shaven.
Sam continues, like I’m not even here. ‘How’s she doing anyway?
Hopefully a bit more cooperative for your second session? ’
He gives this a moment, then laughs politely. ‘Olivia is doing great,’ he says warmly, glancing over at me with appreciative eyes. Something sloshes in my stomach at this. I feel part furious at the condescension and part warm and fuzzy.
‘Two down, four to go,’ I quip. ‘It’ll be over before you know it.’
Sam moves around the room, examining Edward’s furnishings.
She picks up one of his pens, then puts it back down again on the desk.
‘Have you talked to her about her terrible dating choices yet?’ She rolls her eyes at me, then returns her gaze to Edward.
‘Honestly, her ex, Justin, was about as romantic as my last smear test.’
I squeak with horror. ‘Oh my god, shut up, Sam!’ I whine, sounding like a teenager, embarrassed by a prying parent.
‘Sorry!’ She grins. ‘But you don’t listen to me. I thought it might help for an outsider like Edward to remind you to stop settling for less than you’re worth when it comes to men.’ Edward smiles, tight-lipped and silent. Sam tuts. ‘Oh, come on, Edward! Tell her she should know her own worth.’
‘I do know it!’ I snap. ‘I know my worth. I don’t need slogans and clichés thrown at me like I’m a twelve-year-old girl making a Pinterest board.’
‘Sorry,’ Sam says again, a little nicer this time. ‘I just want you to find someone better than Justin.’ She says his name with such disdain, my stomach prickles with defensiveness – with humiliation.
‘Er…’ I inhale deeply, pushing down my upset.
‘That’s all very well, but let’s not forget that I wasn’t actually good enough for Justin in the end.
You keep telling me I can do better than him, but it turned out I wasn’t even up to scratch for a guy who thinks a lot is one word.
A man who didn’t clean his ears because he said his hair protected them from dirt.
Someone who hasn’t been to the dentist in eleven years because he’s petrified of other people’s nose hair coming near his face.
’ I am panting a little now. ‘Not only did he dump me, but he’s now going out with someone ten times better than me.
So, saying I can do better is actually nonsense.
What you’re saying doesn’t even make sense.
How am I supposed to have higher standards when it turns out Justin is too good for me? ’
Across the room, I catch Edward frowning. He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it. ‘Let’s pick this up next week, shall we, Olivia?’ He glances at Sam with disapproval. ‘In private.’
‘Babe—’ Sam begins, and there is regret in her voice. She knows she’s pushed me too hard.
‘I’m fine!’ I say brightly, smiling widely to show that I’m not upset or anything. ‘Without further ado, let’s get out of here, shall we?’
Sam shakes her head. ‘No, wait, I have further ado. I have loads more ado. I have ado coming out of my arsehole.’
I sling an arm around her shoulders and move her towards the door.
Edward steps towards us, into our path. ‘Before you go, Olivia, I was hoping to get two minutes after our session. I do need to talk to you about something. Something outside of’—he waves around his office—‘this. Separate from our therapy.’ He pauses and for a moment he looks deeply unsure of himself.
I’ve never really seen him look like that before, it’s weird.
He continues, ‘I’ve been trying to talk to you for a few weeks now… ’
I frown. ‘Is this about the clinical supervisory sessions I’ve missed?’ I don’t wait for an answer, feeling annoyed he’d bring this up now. ‘Because look, Ed, I’m not even seeing any clients right now and it seems—’
He looks surprised. ‘No, it’s not that,’ he replies. ‘Could we…’ He gestures towards Sam but she doesn’t budge.
‘Sorry, Edward,’ she says with delight. ‘I’m taking Liv for a break-up haircut.
I want to get a fringe so I’m making her get one, too.
’ She nods at me. ‘You know, in case it’s awful.
Then at least we can look terrible together.
’ She checks her watch. ‘We’re going to miss our appointment if we don’t go now. ’
I shrug in Edward’s direction as Sam yanks me out the door. As I go, I glance back at him one more time. He looks worried.
What could Edward possibly have to talk to me about?