Chapter 44
AMELIA
“What the hell?” I whispered in utter horror as I stood on the threshold of my apartment door and stared inside.
At boxes.
And suitcases.
“You’re letting the AC out,” Joel said from behind me as he held himself up on his crutches. He’d been discharged from the hospital yesterday, and his physical therapy team in New Haven was less than thrilled to have him back today.
Jude had said he had some things to take care of in Newark, so I drove Joel to therapy, only to come home and find Jude in my living room, carrying suitcases out of Joel’s bedroom.
Instead of bitching out Jude the way I wanted to, I turned to my brother. “What’s going on?” I looked at Jude. “Why aren’t you in Newark?”
Joel shrugged and readjusted his crutches.
Jude came up behind me and slid his hands to my waist. “Come inside. Let’s talk.”
I hated how steady and calm his voice was as he urged me inside. I shot daggers out of my eyes at Joel as I turned and stomped in.
It was all for show. Honestly, I was exhausted. As long as my bed was still there, whatever the boys were up to was fine. All I wanted was to sleep, but I couldn’t.
It didn’t matter the time of day or if I was on the couch or in bed. It didn’t matter if Jude was with me or not. Every time I closed my eyes, nightmares instantly appeared. There was no escaping it. No escaping him.
John Valentine was dead, but I had died just the same.
I glowered when I spotted Joel’s mattress propped up against the wall in a protective mattress bag.
I peered through his bedroom door. It was empty.
Joel eased down into a chair and propped his braced leg up on the coffee table. Warily, I took a seat on the couch, and Jude sat beside me.
“I’m moving to Rhode Island,” Joel said without skipping a beat.
My eyes widened and I sputtered. “I’m sorry—what? Since when?”
He shrugged. “Since I spent all summer up there and was constantly dragged along for ‘take a hostage to work day.’ Cole’s cool.
The private security firm he works for needed a new receptionist after the last one retired.
So I started pitching in since I kinda lost my other job.
Turns out, I’m good at it. And I can’t really get in much trouble there, since everyone has a license to kill. Or at least that’s what they told me.”
My stomach dropped. “But—but your life is here. And if you’re there, I can’t—”
“Mia,” he said with the kind of calm Jude had. “I need to be on my own for a while. I’ve gotta figure my shit out without relying on you to pick up the pieces for me. And you deserve to enjoy your time off work without also having to worry about me.”
After everything that had happened, I had been put on leave from Alcott until the new semester started in January. The idea of not having any classes to teach unsettled me.
“Joel . . .”
“He’ll be alright,” Jude said as he draped his arm around my shoulder. “The folks at Keller & Associates are good people. They’ll keep him in line.”
“No,” I whispered as my eyes welled up with tears. “You don’t have to leave. You don’t have to—”
“I need to,” Joel said as Jude slid closer.
“What?” I stammered. “But you can’t move to Rhode Island! You don’t know anyone there. Just stay here. It’s not a bother. It’s—”
“We can visit,” Jude said as he kissed the back of my head. “You’re off work for three months. We can travel. Remember how good it felt to get away from everything? Go off the grid?”
My world was falling apart, but I nodded.
He smoothed his hands down my arms and twined our fingers together. “This is a good thing. For both of you. Besides, your lease is up in November. We can put all our shit in storage and spend the next few months just . . . living.”
Living was a privilege.
I turned to Jude. “How do you know my lease is up in November?”
He smirked. “I stalked you. Remember?” Jude immediately read the trepidation on my face and pulled me into his chest. “He’s going to be okay, little fox.”
“You deserve time to yourself,” Joel said.
In my heart of hearts, I knew it was true. I had gone through things I never thought I’d survive because I was trying to protect Joel. Him choosing to move to Rhode Island was growth. I didn’t want to stifle that.
But it also terrified me.
“Getting away from the East Coast could be nice,” I said as I glanced up at Jude. “And I do have a lot of cash sitting in a safety deposit box to burn through . . .”
Jude rubbed my back. “I quite like road-tripping with you. You know—when you don’t make me chase you through a parking lot after climbing out of a bathroom window.”
“You did what?” Joel said with a laugh.
“In my defense, I thought you were going to kill me,” I said.
“Nah,” Jude said quietly. “But I’d die for you.”
I squeezed his hand. “I know.”
“We can take that train down the California coast,” Jude mused. “We can go to Providence and visit once Joel’s settled in. There’s a pie shop up there that’ll knock your socks off. We can go visit my folks in Arizona. They want to meet you.”
“Really?”
The doorbell rang as Jude tipped my chin up and kissed me. “Really.”
I looked at Joel. “Who’s that?”
“Movers,” he said. “They’re going to take my car and my stuff up to Providence.”
Sandpaper wrapped around my throat. “You’re leaving . . . like . . . right now?”
“Yeah,” he said as he eased up onto his crutches. “I need to get a head start on the whole ‘growing up’ thing.”
I jumped off the couch and pulled him into a hug as Jude answered the door. “I’m going to miss you. You’re going to do great up there.”
“I hope I don’t,” he said as he squeezed me as hard as he could while still using crutches. “I need to fail a little more. I think I’ll learn more that way.”
“I love you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “And I’m proud of you.”
“Love you too.” He cracked a smile. “And you can call me this time. But if you don’t, it’s okay. I know you’re in good hands.”
I stood in the middle of the chaos as movers swarmed in and had everything loaded into a box truck in the blink of an eye. Joel’s car—the new one he got after insurance finally agreed that having your car blown up meant it was totaled—was hitched up to be towed to Rhode Island.
Jude and I helped Joel down the stairs and said our goodbyes in the parking lot. Joel even hugged Jude.
When the hideous orange moving truck disappeared from the parking lot, I turned to Jude. “I can’t believe you did this for him. I know how messy his room was. Packing up couldn’t have been easy.”
He cupped my cheeks, brushing the lingering tears away. “Scale of one to ten. How mad are you?”
“Zero,” I croaked. “I think he and I need a break.” I looked back at the apartment building. “And the idea of leaving this place is growing on me.”
“I’d chase you to the ends of the earth, Dr. Hawthorne. You’re the only person I’d run to and run for.”
The kiss we shared was soft and sweet, like a gentle sunrise full of hope and possibilities.
“Did you actually have things to do in Newark? Or was that a lie so you could pack Joel’s things since he can’t move without crutches again?”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “I was there last night. Turned in the keys to my apartment. Figured I’d get a place nearby.”
Hope began to bloom inside of me for the first time in months. “Well, since my lease is up in November, maybe we should just get a place together. Or . . .”
“Or?”
I smiled. “Or we could go home.”
Jude smiled as he fished around in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. “I just picked up the truck from the airport.”