Chapter 45
JUDAH
Amelia stirred as the truck slowed to a stop, but she didn’t wake. The leaves surrounding the cabin had begun to change, turning from lush green to olive and ocher. Though it was just a few days after Labor Day, the elevation made it feel as though autumn was impending.
The cabin looked exactly the same. Every time I thought about what people saw on the outside, I chuckled, knowing what was inside. It was a constant lesson on not judging a book by its cover . . . or not judging a cabin by its leaning exterior.
Amelia and I had loaded up the truck with far more than we had brought with us the first time. It somewhat defeated the purpose of an off-grid safe house, but I didn’t mind. Neither did Cole. Especially not after I bought out his half of the cabin. Now, it was all ours.
Amelia was on leave, but I was officially unemployed. Given the circumstances, I walked away with a hefty severance.
I wasn’t entirely sure what life would look like after this, but I knew who I wanted to live it with.
I slipped out from behind the wheel, stretched, and cracked my back as the ache of a long road trip eased out of my muscles. We had taken it slow this time, stopping halfway and spending the night at a hotel using our real IDs.
I had hoped Amelia’s nightmares would fade once we left the East Coast, but they showed up like clockwork whenever she tried to sleep.
Her nap in the front seat was the most she had consistently slept in days.
I unlocked the cabin, then headed back to the truck, carefully opened her door, and scooped her up like a bride.
Huh. I like the thought of Amelia being a bride.
“You’re smiling,” she murmured lazily as she rubbed her eyes before plonking her head back down on my chest.
“We’re here.”
“Yeah. But you’re smiling. You never smile.”
I kissed her forehead as I carried her over the threshold. The cabin smelled musty but familiar. The dust on the sheets we had used to cover the furniture was our housewarming gift.
“You make me smile.”
“I wasn’t doing anything. I was asleep,” she countered.
I paused as I studied her eyes, her lips, and the freckle that dotted the left side of her nose.
“You make me think about things I’ve never thought about before,” I said as I carefully set Amelia on her feet, pulled the sheet off the bed, and dropped it on the floor.
The sheet covering the couch was next. I balled it up and added it to the pile.
We’d have to go down into the cellar for actual bedding, but that could wait.
“Like what?” she yawned.
“Like white dresses and tuxedos.”
Her eyes widened.
“A big buttercream cake and champagne toasts.” I took a step toward her. Amelia stumbled backward, toward the bed.
“I think about rings and vows and his-and-hers hand towels.” I cupped her cheeks.
“I think about a getaway car with cans tied to the bumper and ‘just married’ scrawled on the window. I think about what a fucking privilege it is to grow old. I obsess over the idea of aging. Of doing it with someone I’m madly in love with.
” Our noses brushed. “I think about the way our hands will weather. The way our skin will wrinkle and thin. The way those rings will get scratched up, but they’ll still be there after our bones turn to dust. I think about what that promise means.
” I licked my lips as I slanted my mouth over hers.
“And every time I think about those things I think about you.”
“Judah . . .”
The corners of my mouth turned up. “You said my full name that day . . . the day you were taken.”
“You ran to me.” Her throat bobbed. “And you hate running.”
I rested my forehead on hers and nodded. “I will spend the rest of my life chasing you.”
“I’d like that.” The word was warped as it slipped from her lips.
“Yeah?”
“I’d . . . love that.”
I had a hunch at what she was summoning the courage to say, so I egged her on, slowly walking her backward until her legs hit the side of the bed. “Why’s that, baby?”
A gasp slipped free as Amelia’s back hit the bare mattress. “Because . . . because I love you.”
I had wanted her to say it. But more than that, I wanted her to feel it. Still, I couldn’t help but worry that she was still caught up in the height of all that had happened. “Are you sure?”
Amelia nodded. “I was sure before you said it to me.” She reached up and cupped my jaw, trailing her thumb across my beard.
It had finally grown back and started to thicken up.
“Because I loved you when I wasn’t supposed to.
When I was supposed to run from you. But you were the person I always wanted to run to.
When you were taken from me, it felt like losing part of myself.
It felt like having my lungs ripped out of my chest. I’ve been gasping ever since.
I’ve never been in love before, but if this is what it feels like, the pain is worth it. ”
My knees dug into the mattress as I straddled her hips and slipped her shirt over her head. I tossed it onto the couch and splayed my hand between her breasts. “Breathe.”
Her eyes slowly lowered as her lips parted on an inhale.
My heart was steadied at the slow rise and fall of her chest. I reached behind her and unfastened her bra, pulling it off and tossing it to the side with her shirt.
Her shorts and panties were next. Everything came off until she was naked beneath me.
“You still breathing, little fox?” I asked as I dropped my jeans and pulled my shirt over my head.
Her smile was soft. “You’re here, aren’t you?”
“Right here.” My cock rested on her belly as I kissed my way up her sternum and throat.
Delicate fingers danced over my shoulders and arms. Her touch was the perfect balm after a torrent of bad days.
I sucked on the side of her neck, right where her pulse raced.
The feeling of her heart beating soothed the ache that still lingered at what she had been through.
At what we had both been through.
Amelia snaked her arms around my neck, nails scratching at my skin as I moved lower, kissing across her collarbone to her breasts. I smiled to myself as she began to rock her hips beneath me. “What do you need, little fox?”
“I think you know,” she said with a hum of delight as I pulled her nipple between my teeth and sucked.
That hum turned to a whimper, then a whine.
I switched, palming that breast while I sucked on the other.
I kissed my way down her stomach as I teased her clit with my fingers until she trembled in incomparable delight.
“Judah, please—”
I dragged my teeth over her nipple as I eased over her. “I love hearing you say my name.”
A lazy smile painted her lips. “I like your name.”
I notched the head of my cock in her entrance. Her cunt was slick and soft.
“Then get used to screaming it, sweetheart.”
“Judah!” she shrieked as I thrust inside.
Her gasp was music to my ears because it was for no other reason than pleasure.
The pleasure of sex.
The pleasure of intimacy.
The pleasure of loving and being loved.
The pleasure of living.
“Breathe for me, little fox.” I slid my hand behind her head and cradled the nape of her neck. “You can do it. Just breathe,” I soothed as I rocked inside her. Amelia choked on her saliva. Her first inhale was desperate. The second was slow and calm. “That’s my girl. Doesn’t that feel good?”
“Uh-huh,” she moaned as I stoked the simmering heat between us with slow, shallow pumps.
I took her hand and held it against my chest. “Feel that?”
“Yeah,” she whimpered as she tilted her hips up, seeking more.
“My heart is yours. It beats for you. My breath is yours. I’d give you my last one without a second thought.”
“Judah . . .”
I groaned as her inner muscles constricted with the whisper of my name.
“I mean it,” I grunted. “Every fucking word.”
She nodded furiously as a groove formed between her tensed brows. “I need you to make me come.”
“It’d be my pleasure,” I whispered against her lips as I ground against her clit, staying buried inside of her as her body contracted around mine, inside and out.
I opened my mouth to tell her all the words on my mind. They rushed to the tip of my tongue in a torrent. But all that came out was a strangled groan as I came.
Amelia was ahead of me—spine arched, head thrown back, sandy hair spilling in a waterfall. The light brown dye had started to fade and Amelia was coming back to herself.
Her cry was one of delight as she came. It was the only sort of cry I wished for her for the rest of our days.
But if the tears did some, I’d be here to wipe them away.
If she ran out of breath, I’d fill her lungs.
If her heart ceased to beat, I’d open my chest and give her mine.
After lazy kisses and languid touches, we cleaned up, dressed, and began to unload the truck.
I caught Amelia staring at me as I pack-muled in the final bags. “What’s that look for?” I asked as I kicked the door shut.
She picked up a spare towel and began to wipe the dust off the countertops. “Nothing.”
I chuckled. “Are you forgetting that I was trained by the government on how to read people?”
She stuck out her tongue, making me laugh.
I came up behind her and slid my hands onto her hips. “What’s on your mind, little fox? I know there’s something.”
Amelia looked down at the towel in her hands. “Is this crazy? Living here for three months? Leaving our lives behind?”
“Yes,” I said, then kissed the back of her head. “But that’s never bothered me before.”
She twisted the towel back and forth. “Your life before this . . . It was so complicated. You had your undercover life and me and the whole FBI thing . . .”
“You’re worried what will happen when it’s just us?”
She nodded at the countertops.
Gently, I turned her hips until she was facing me.
“All I have ever wanted to do is leave the world better than I found it. To make it a better place.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“I used to think it meant eliminating problems. That’s a noble and necessary endeavor.
I don’t regret my service. But all I ever did was take things from the world.
All I ever did was create voids.” I kissed her lips.
“Then I met you. And suddenly all I wanted to do was give. To grow. To love. To put something back into the world. And that starts with us.”
There was peace in her eyes, blue skies rippled with creases of delight.
“I don’t think this is our happily ever after.”
“No?”
I shook my head as I cupped her cheeks, ghosting my lips over hers. “It’s just the beginning.”