Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
Tim took notes. Gideon paced. I jogged in place to relieve some of the tension that was doing its best to overwhelm me. Candy Vargo talked.
A lot.
“Listen close, motherfuckers,” she announced.
“Imagine a field of wild flowers. Not too big. Not too small. About the size of a football field. Lots of little birdies and bunny rabbits. This fuckin’ field is only inhabited by nice folks—like the seven Dwarfs from Snow White.
Only monsters you’ll see there are sweet like Sully and Mike Wazowski.
” She paused and smiled. “I love me some Mike Wazowski. Anyhoo, maybe there’s a few people, but I say we stick with people like Richie Cunningham and Fonzie. ”
Gideon stopped pacing and side eyed her. “Are you drunk?”
“Are you?” she shot back.
Both of them looked ready to have a go at each other. That would not help anything. Fighting amongst ourselves was not on the agenda. I knew exactly what Candy was doing.
I jogged between them and held up my hands. “Nope. No one is drunk. Candy’s painting a visual picture of what we’ll see when we get to the plane. It usually looks like what was discussed before going in. Not sure the same will apply since the Higher Power is gone.”
“Possibly not gone,” Tim reminded us.
“Right,” I conceded, rubbing my temples. “But it will be great if we all see the same thing.”
“Exactly, jackass,” Candy Vargo said, staring daggers at Gideon.
The Grim Reaper shrugged. “Who is Richie Cunningham? And what in the hell is a Fonzie?”
I smiled. It was hard to believe that I found humor in anything right now, but I did.
My other half had lived for millions of years, but the man wasn’t hip on pop culture.
The fact that he knew the dwarfs from Snow White wasn’t surprising.
The story had been around a long time. However, I was surprised he didn’t ask about Sully and Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.
Tim was all over Gideon’s query. “Richie Cunningham and Fonzie are characters from a television program called Happy Days. Fabulous show!” he gushed.
“It was set in the 1950s in the town of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Happy Days told the story of the Cunningham family, the mother and father—Marion and Howard, and their son, Richie and daughter, Joanie. Very lovely family. Tons of wonderful life lessons mixed with innocent humor. Howard ran a hardware store and Marion was a stay-at-home mom. Now, of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Richie’s best friends—Potsie and Ralph.
They were lovable dunces—not suave with the ladies at all.
But… the best character, in my humble opinion, was Arthur ‘Fonzie’ Fonzarelli.
He was the local, motorcycle-riding bad boy with a heart of gold. He even jumped the shark!”
Candy Vargo put up her hand to stop her buddy. He either didn’t see her or ignored her. There was no stopping Tim when he got going on bizarre trivia. He and Jennifer shared that trait—like father, like daughter. Gideon was trying to follow Tim’s word vomit, but was having a hard time.
“My desire to be up to speed is in direct conflict with my desire to remain sane,” Gideon stated flatly.
Tim kept going. “Not to worry, friend! I’ll consolidate the rest. The very first episode of the show was on January 15, 1974. It was so popular that there were several spinoffs! Laverne and Shirley, Mork and Mindy and the classic Joanie Loves Chachi. All terrific shows.”
“Okay,” Gideon said, doing his very best to stay calm. “While that was informative, I simply wanted to know what this Richie Cunningham and Fonzie look like.”
“Oh! Of course. Not a problem!” Tim assured him. He pulled out his phone went online. Without missing a beat, Tim showed Gideon a photo of Ron Howard as Richie and Henry Winkler as Fonzie. “There are more fun facts if anyone would like to hear them.”
“Nope,” Candy Vargo, Gideon and I said in unison.
“Roger that,” Tim said with a giggle. “Just let me know if you change your mind.”
“We won’t,” Candy told him. “So, Daisy, you ready?”
“Umm… sure, but do we do it like we did it before?” I questioned.
The Keeper of Fate shook her head. “Fuck no. We do not.”
“Not helpful,” I muttered. “You wanna give me a clue?”
She chuckled. “I don’t have one, Angel of Mercy. It’s all on you.”
I wasn’t sure if she was messing with me.
They were all older than dirt. I was barely over forty.
How was this fair? There was too much to lose if I screwed it up.
Gideon walked over and pressed his forehead to mine.
His scent and physical touch calmed me. I was a force of nature all by myself.
I knew it and believed it. However, Gideon helped me be my best self.
He’d told me over and over I did the same for him. Love could be as powerful as magic.
“There are no right answers and no wrong ones, Daisy. If the Keeper of Fate can see that you’re the one to lead us to the plane, then it’s fated,” he said. “Go with your gut, baby.”
Gently pressing my lips to his, I kissed the man who had more faith in me more than I did in myself right now.
The gravity of the situation hit me again.
Hard. Our daughter’s life was on the line along with Jennifer’s and Shitty Ritchie’s.
Hell, the future of the entire Immortal world was on the line.
I’d gone with my gut before and succeeded. I’d do it again.
Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander. I prayed to every deity I could think of and a few I probably made up.
Didn’t matter. I’d take any help I could get right now.
My thoughts immediately landed on the fact that I could decide how long I was gone in a mind dive.
Alana Catherine had shared that tidbit with me.
It would have been fantastic to have known earlier considering I used to be out of commission for days at time after I dove into the minds of the dead.
I wasn’t sure how it was connected to getting to the Higher Power’s plane, though.
Wait… maybe nothing was as difficult as we’d made it in the past. Leaving the past where it belonged was the goal. Maybe, the Immortal world didn’t have to be so damned cryptic.
It was possible. Anything was possible. There was a chance we didn’t have to do some big formal ritual that hurt like hell. I was over that shit. We’d just freaking go. Out with the old ways and in with the new.
I hoped…
“Hold hands,” I directed, feeling my heart hammering in my chest. “Form a circle. It’s way past time to leave.”
Candy Vargo grinned and reached for my hand. Tim put his phone and notebook back into one of the pockets of his mail uniform. He took Candy’s hand and reached out to Gideon. Gideon took his place and grabbed my hand along with Tim’s.
“Plan, fucker?” Candy asked.
“We’re going to transport,” I informed her. “From here on out, we’re going to simplify.”
“I like it,” Tim said.
Gideon squeezed my hand and gave me a smile.
“On three,” I announced. “On the count of three we’re going to the Higher Power’s plane.
It will not be painful. It will not be violent.
” I inhaled then went for my last new and improved requirement.
“And time will run the same on that plane as it does on the one we’re standing in now. Period fucking period.”
“Can she do that?” Candy Vargo asked Gideon.
He grinned. “Sounds to me like she just did.”
Tim nodded at me and smiled. “Indeed, she can. Daisy is not only the Angel of Mercy, she’s the Death Counselor, and gave birth to one third of the true Higher Power. She’s risen on the Immortal food chain exponentially!”
I caught myself before I made a cannibal joke. It would have fallen flat.
I stuck to the business at hand. “My educated guess is that in the past, Tom Hanks made it difficult to get to his plane. He’s no longer in charge. We are.”
“Baaaad Assssss,” Candy shouted with a whistle of approval. “The past is the fuckin’ past. It ain’t a place of residence, it’s a place of reference. I like your style mofo.”
I just hoped my style was in this season… “Everyone, hold on tight. No one gets left behind.” With one last huge inhale and a noisy exhale, I was ready to go. “One. Two. Three.”
We left the earthly plane in a blast of shimmering golden mist.
The trip was fine. No pain. No violence. However, the landing left a lot to be desired. We landed in a heap in a field of tall and tangled wild flowers. The scent of the flowers was delicious. Candy’s armpit in my face was not.
“Dude,” I grunted, pushing her off of me. “Did you put deodorant on today?”
“Don’t wear it,” she replied with a chuckle.
“Maybe you should consider it,” I told her. “Kinda ripe.”
“Screw you,” she said. “I ain’t puttin’ no chemicals in my pits.”
I didn’t take the conversation further. It would not end well.
I’d be sure to mention it to Gram. Gram might be dead, but she could bring one of the most powerful Immortals in the universe to her gaucho clad knees.
Gram loved Candy something fierce and the feeling was mutual.
Gram had done wonders with Candy so far.
I hoped she could impress upon her that stinky pits were not a good look. I’d tattle on her when we got home.
And we would get home with the true Higher Power with us. I crossed my fingers hard that Alana Catherine, Jennifer and Shitty Ritchie were here.
“Stay low,” Tim said in a hushed voice.
We obeyed. All four of us were well versed in battle and the trust between us was solidly established.
If Tim said jump. We’d jump. If he said run, we’d run like the wind.
Any of our quartet would go with what the others directed.
Being a free-flowing unit with four generals might not work for everyone, but it worked for us beautifully.
Flat on our stomachs in a field of overgrown wildflowers wasn’t the best position to be in. From my vantage point, I couldn’t spot anywhere to take cover if necessary.
“What do you see, ass head?” Candy Vargo whispered to her best friend.
After creating a makeshift bonnet of flowers that Tim placed on his head, he slowly lifted his gaze and scanned the area. “Motorcycles,” he shared. “Three. And atop of each is a Fonzie. Behind them it looks like Arnold’s Drive-In.”
“Oh my god,” I muttered.
“What’s Arnold’s Drive-In?” Gideon asked, confused.
“It’s the diner from Happy Days,” I explained. “Since we discussed the show, it bled over into the plane.”
“Well, hells bells,” Candy Vargo hissed. “Didn’t plan on that. I haven’t seen that dang show in decades.”
“Not to worry,” Tim assured all of us. “I watch it regularly. I know the layout of Arnold’s Drive-In.”
“Do you see Mike Wazowski or Sully?” Candy asked hopefully.
“Negative,” Tim said.
I turned to Gideon. “Do you know who Sully and Mike Wazowski are?”
He raised a brow. “I do.”
I squinted at him in disbelief. “You’ve seen Monsters, Inc.?”
He gave me a very fake and very offended look. It made me grin. “In preparation for our daughter watching movies, I took it upon myself to view some.”
“Some?” I questioned.
“Thirty,” he admitted. “Some were painful, but I have to say, Monster’s, Inc. was outstanding. Also, I enjoyed Up.”
“I’m impressed,” I told him.
“Me too,” he agreed.
“You fuckers done?” Candy Vargo inquired.
“Done,” I promised.
Candy poked Tim. “Okay, Timmy, what about the seven dwarfs?”
“Again, negative. But the Fonzies seem to be very concerned about something on the ground next to the motor bikes.”
“Can you make out what it is?” Gideon asked.
Tim lowered his head. “No, but there appears to be a tremendous amount of blood.”
My entire body tingled with dread. In the past on the Higher Power’s plane, if one died, they didn’t really die. They came back. That was then, this was now. Did that rule even apply anymore?
“I don’t know,” Candy Vargo said.
My brows shot up. “Did you just read my mind?”
“Hell to the no,” she said. “Your face. Whatever the Fonzies are starin’ at is important. That I do know.”
Gideon’s body was tense. I could feel it. His eyes blazed red and his words were clipped. “We’ve established that the Fonzies are decent people per Candy’s description. Correct?”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure if I believed it, but I was going with it until a Fonzie proved me wrong.
Gideon continued. “From the lore, nothing dies here. Granted, that was before.” He glanced at each of us. “You’re armed?”
We nodded.
“Excellent. If the Fonzies attack, kill them. Weapons first, magic second. We don’t know how strong they are.
They might or might not stay dead. However, if they do die it will depend on their power level as to how long it takes them to rejuvenate.
Be prepared to decapitate the Fonzies multiple times if necessary. ”
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to scream. I did neither.
“Apropos of absolutely nothing,” Gideon added, shaking his head. “I never thought I would utter the word Fonzie so many times in my life.”
Candy Vargo groaned. “I’m just gonna fuckin’ apologize right now for bringin’ up Fonzie. Shoulda stopped my yappin’ after the dwarfs, Sully and Mike Wazowski. My bad.”
“And I shall extend an apology as well, my friends,” Tim said. “The detailed description of Happy Days looks like it’s coming back to bite me in the posterior.”
“Say ass,” Candy insisted. “Posterior is bullshit.”
“I will not,” Tim huffed. “Posterior is completely acceptable.”
“Ass is a stronger fuckin’ choice,” she argued.
“It’s crass,” he told her.
“Your point?” she shot back.
“No point,” he replied. “Just an observation.
“Mmmkay,” I said. “Let’s quash the butt debate. We came here to find Jennifer, Shitty Ritchie and Alana Catherine and get them out of here. Cool?”
“Quite true,” Tim agreed. “Thoughts?”
“I’m all in for finding out what the Fonzies are staring at,” I said, starting to get to my feet.
“Hang on,” Candy Vargo said, pulling me back to the ground. “When meeting Fonzie, we should show some fuckin’ respect.”
I gestured at the multiple Fonzies, and asked, “Which Fonzie are we respecting?”
“All of them.” She waved her hands. We were all now sporting black leather—pants, jackets and boots. The white t-shirts were the only breathable fiber on our bodies. “Aaaaayyyyy,” Candy crooned, giving us a thumbs up.
“Is this necessary?” Gideon asked with an eye roll.
“Probably not,” Candy admitted with a grin. “But it’s badass.”
“I quite like it,” Tim said, admiring himself. “I wish it had more pockets, but it will do.”
“Remember,” Gideon said quietly, as we got to our feet. “If the Fonzies pose a threat, off them.”
“Roger that, motherfucker,” Candy Vargo said, checking her pockets for her weapons. “Let’s hope the rest of the day is the beginning of our very own Happy Days.”
From her mouth…