15. Chitchat
CHAPTER 15
CHITCHAT
BILLIE
L ilith is sitting on the couch in Glaine’s living room. I try not to take offense to the fact that I didn’t offer her the seat, Glaine did, and that’s when Apollyon brought him outside so that the two of them can chat.
I know what’s really going on here. Lilith is Apollyon’s mate. She’s also the female head of the demons who live in Nuit. That makes her in charge, and since Apollyon really doesn’t want to talk to Glaine in front of me, she’s now my babysitter.
What do they expect? That now that Loki removed the chains from the two of us, I would say ‘peace out’ and leave Glaine behind in his village. Please. I learned my lesson. It’s like hooking up with the right lawyer or venue planner. Stick with the one who can get you further. Leaving Glaine now when I’m so close to getting home… that would be like cutting off my nose to spite my face.
And I have an adorable nose, thank you very much.
It’s not fair that I’m being so rude to Lilith for reasons I can’t explain. I know that, too. She’s been nothing but pleasant after greeting me, and has kept her expression welcoming no matter how much I can’t shake this feeling like she means something to me.
Or Glaine.
It would be so tempting to pop into his essence to check. I don’t, though. Is it because I have an idea what I’m going to find? Maybe. It’s just… it’s better to make small talk with the demoness while I wait for him to come back and update me on what the clan leader says.
Because he will. I’m sure of that. For good or for bad, whether it’s news I want to hear or not, he’ll tell me.
Guys are guys in every world. Maybe… maybe so are ladies.
I can’t bring myself to sit on the couch with her, but I do cross my legs at the ankle and lean against the edge of one of the arms. “I really like your dress.”
It’s not a lie. It’s really nice and it flatters her demoness shape. Plus, it’s not a wrinkly mess like my ex-favorite cocktail dress.
“Thank you, Billie. I must introduce you to Raiga. She’s the village seamstress. She sews all of Kennedy’s dresses, too. I will see that she brings some for you.”
I appreciate the offer, but?—
“That’s not necessary. I won’t be staying long.”
Her eyes light up. “Oh? So Glaine will be joining you in your realm? That’ll be a great loss to Sombra. It is thanks to him and the rest of the duke’s guard that this plane has not been overrun by the demons of Brille Rouge. I’d seen the damage they can do in Soleil. He saved many lives. We will surely miss him.”
We, not I. Does that mean anything? Is that why I sense there is a connection between Glaine and Lilith? Because she’s grateful for his service as a soldier, and that they’ve known each from living in Nuit after she left her realm.
Keeping up the light conversational tone, I tell her, “Glaine’s staying here.”
She furrows her dainty brow. “But he is your mate.”
Yeah, well? That remains to be seen.
Barely a week ago, I would’ve been quick to scoff. At first, I had myself convinced that he had to have mistaken me for Sierra; given the choice between us, almost everyone would choose her, a fact that became undeniable after Trevor’s confession. I don’t blame her, either. There’s a reason the world fell in love with Whiskey Rose, and I’ve spent years trying to shield her from that as best as I can.
But Glaine never once wavered in his belief that I am his mate. From the moment we appeared in our apartment at the Dorado, he’s been determined to get me to agree. Barely a week ago, I would’ve scoffed and said he had no chance. I did do that.
But that was a week ago.
Now?
Whatever Damien and Lucian did while we were at the doppelseers’ cabin, they planted a seed of doubt. Glaine wants to promise himself to me. After Trevor, I’d been ready to swear off men… but maybe I just needed to narrow it to human men. A demon male who is offering me forever, who won’t cheat on me or fall in love with my best friend or cast me aside because I’m nothing special?
To Glaine, I am special. I’m Billie. I’m his —or I could be if I decide to forsake everything I know, everything I have in the human world, and give it all up to stay here with him.
That’s what he wants from him. Even if he didn’t make that clear right from the start, I have his essence. Though it’s pretty obvious he’s been able to hide a lot even with the essence exchange, his determination to settle down with his one true mate in Sombra is not one of those things.
And that’s the problem right there. Glaine doesn’t want to leave Sombra. I’ve been fascinated by everything I’ve seen and learned about the demon realm and would love to explore it more… but I’m needed back in New York. Sierra needs me, and I have to go.
When I don’t say anything to that, she frowns.
“Glaine loves deeply. He hides it behind his scowl most of the time, but there’s a good male beneath the soldier’s facade. He will wait as long as it takes.”
I know that. Trust me, I know that.
“You talk about him as if you know him very well,” I point out.
“I do.”
I figured. “How?”
Lilith’s lips quirk into a small smile. “Perhaps that is a conversation best had with your mate.”
Oh, don’t worry. As soon as Glaine comes back, I’ll be having it. Whether it’s my business or not, I don’t think my curiosity will rest if I don’t ask. And using his essence won’t work.
I need to hear this straight from Glaine almost as much as I need him to tell me that he’s arranged a way back to New York for me.
And if one of those seems a little more urgent to me than the other all of a sudden… I’ll deal.
I always deal.
GLAINE
Apollyon paces in front of me, hands folded behind his back. The clan leader has his horns bowed, chin tucked to his chest. We’re just outside my home, having left Lilith and Billie together inside. Due to the constraints on a Sombra demon male, I cannot go that far from my mate—a fact that Apollyon recognizes as he keeps his voice low without moving further from the front door.
“You have put me in the most awkward of positions, Glaine,” he announces after a few strained moments.
“I didn’t mean to, Apollyon.”
“I know. Your instincts were at work.” He purses his lips, fangs overhanging the bottommost one. “I know that better than other demons. When you see your mate for the first time, you think of nothing else but bonding her to you.”
Even if she is being wooed by another male who falsely believed she was his…
That was centuries ago. Any anger I felt toward the clan leader disappeared as soon as Lilith came to me, admitting what we both had senses in some way: that I was not her mate, Apollyon was, and she was moving from my home to his. She chose him. She recognized him as her fated mate instead of a male who might be, and since she denied giving me her essence or taking mine, she was free to bond with Apollyon.
It hurt to be denied. It was the doppelseers’ prophecy come true: that I would find her in another world only for her to refuse me in the end. But now I have Billie—and Lucian confirmed that my Fate has not changed.
As for Damien… before I left their cabin with Billie, he spoke to me for the first time. In the same melodic voice as before, he repeated the second prophecy that has ruled my life for so long:
In chains of gold and magic bound,
You linger close, yet far profound.
To win the heart you hold so dear,
Release the spell that chains you here.
For love’s true call is not in grasp,
But in the freedom you unfasten at last…
He warned me not to take it so literally. How can I not? For the first time, I understand what it means. In chains of gold… he was referring to the chains that kept Billie tethered to me. When I asked her what she wanted of me to prove myself to her, she wanted her freedom. From the dungeon. From the chains. From me.
To win the heart… I used my sway over a younger demon to earn our escape. I knew Loki would release us from the chains because he has a weakness when it comes to his human mate. To know that I had one… of course he would help me. I didn’t ask him to open the travel spell just yet because I was selfish. I wanted to cleave Billie close to me for a little longer.
And now, as Apollyon confesses that Duke Haures sent a messenger to Nuit to speak with him while we were still on our way… I know that I’ve made another mistake.
My mate wanted her freedom to return to the human realm, but that is the one thing I cannot give her.
“Out of respect for all you’ve done for Nuit…” He shakes his head, looking away from me… “Out of respect for you bringing Lilith to me, I have agreed to harbor you and your mate. But that means you must stay in Nuit. Both of you.”
There’s more to the warning. Duke Haures reminds me of the final conversation we shared before he gave his permission for me to join Billie in the dungeon. I’m barely listening since I’m thinking about how I’m going to explain this to my mate, but Apollyon takes my silence as agreement.
Then, ending the conversation quickly, he joins me in my living room. My eyes immediately go to Billie. She’s standing in her prickly pose, arms crossed over her chest, legs folded together as she leans against the far wall. Lilith has moved from her place on the couch, putting some distance between her and my human mate.
My upset human mate.
Her emotions slam into me like a commander’s hand to the back of your horns. She is trying to hide them, but failing, and I know that whatever has passed between the females while Apollyon and I were occupied outside… I had made a mistake by leaving Billie behind. I should’ve insisted she come with me to speak with Apollyon, even if his words weren’t to her liking.
Now? I wait for the clan leader and the clanmother to make leave of my home, then turn, knowing that Billie will have questions for me.
Questions I will do my best to answer.
“Who is Lilith?”
That… that is not the question I expected her to start with. Luckily for me, it is an easy one.
“Apollyon’s mate.”
Billie uncrosses her arms from over her chest, planting them on her hips instead. “Glaine. Please. Don’t insult me. I don’t want to use your essence because… I don’t know. It just seems like a huge invasion of privacy?—”
“It’s not,” I assure her. “Mates… we’re meant to know everything about each other. That way there’s no doubt that we’ve chosen the right partner. You are my mate, Billie, and you deserve my essence. That, like everything I have, belongs to you.”
My heart is in your hands …
“I get that,” she says, and while her essence tells me that she does, there is still much I don’t know about my mate. She seems… upset that I left her with Lilith. Not because I left her, but because the other female was there.
Maybe it was not as easy a question as I thought.
“I hope you didn’t mind that I had to leave to speak with Apollyon,” I begin. I wave toward the door. “I didn’t go far.” I cannot unless I want to burn. “I was right there. I hope… I hope Lilith was kind to you.”
Billie snorts. “You know her better than me. Why wouldn’t she be kind?”
“Was she?”
“Yeah. She was nice. Offered to get me a couple of dresses if I’ll be staying with your for a while?—”
I shouldn’t be jealous of Lilith. She has a mate, and I know that she is only acting as the clanmother, welcoming Billie to Nuit. But I am Billie’s male. If she needs new coverings, I will provide them. Now that I can access my shadows, I can clothe her in them if need be; soldiers often weave entire uniforms out of their shadows when they won’t be in their solid form for long so I have the skill. If not, I can get them for my mortal.
“Whatever you need, ask me. I will make sure you have it.”
I mean it earnestly. I’ve made my mistakes. Our mating… I started it wrong. I accept that. Apollyon’s message from Duke Haures doesn’t change anything. I brought Billie to Nuit so that we could find a mage I trusted to remove the chains. I had every intention of asking Loki for a travel spell. If the doppelseers concealed us on our journey, they could do the same if I followed Billie to the human realm to woo her there.
I can’t do that now. Duke Haures will be watching the pathways, and if I leave, I will be dragged back in chains. And because of his first law and the fact that Billie has my essence but we are not bonded, he won’t stand to let her go, either.
I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted, and I feel terrible for it.
The sensation only grows when Billie says, “Ask you? Okay. Flat out, then. Are you in love with Lilith?”
I lift my hands, laying my claws over my chest. “I love you, my mortal.”
She makes that scoffing sound again. “My fault for giving you the opportunity… let me try again. Were you in love with Lilith?”
I love my mate. That is what Sombra demon males are born to do. Did I believe myself to love Lilith?
My mate will appreciate my honesty. As though I have any other choice. I will never lie to Billie, even if she doesn’t like what my answers are, and I sense that—no matter how she acts as though we are not mates, even after she let me taste her cunt and touch her to ward off the mate sickness—she will not like it when I say, “When I believed Lilith was meant to be my mate, yes. I loved her. But she is not, and while I am still fond of her, I do not love her now.”