Chapter Fourteen
The present
Doll
Thunder strikes the sky, rattling the glass windows. The leaves of trees glisten as the pouring rain washes away the dirt. A dull ache feeling sparks in my knees as I sit on the ground in front of the window, resting my hands on the coldness of the windowsill.
For the months I have been here, behind these doors.
The floor to ceiling window has been my favorite place to lounge in this dark house.
I don’t know how to name the emotion I feel when I stay here for hours.
Calmness wash over me as the thoughts in my mind quieten, disappearing without a trace.
Warmth spreads in my chest despite the windowsill coldness underneath my palms.
The rain drops bang over the glass in a beautiful chaos as they race downwards, I watch them with a mesmerized gaze. My lips tilt up as the drop I chose reaches down first.
“I have no idea why you keep defying me.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand upright as I turn my head slowly to face the only voice I have known.
His eyes narrow when they meet mine, his lips tight in frustration. The moonlight beam reflecting over the silver of his rounded glasses.
My eyes slide down his tall frame and find his fist tightening. I smile slightly and look back over the outside world that I wish to live for another try.
The lake on the side of the house is quiet and still as fog hovers all over it, hiding the beauty of its nature from my eyes.
A soft thud sounds beside my thigh as I look down and find a plush white pillow.
I smile as I tilt my head up to Clayton. “Thank you.”
He shakes his head in frustration as if what I said is absurd. He shoves his hands into his pockets and walks away, his back facing me as I hear him mumble inaudibly. “I told you multiple times to put a pillow beneath your knees. The wooden floor is harsh on your skin.”
He sits down on an arm chair, his broad shoulders stretched wide as he leans back, widening his legs, adjusting himself to settle down and get comfortable.
The only light source in our house is the moonlight and the soft dim lamp. Clayton can’t tolerate bright lights, he explained to me that they make his blood boil, so we have always used candles or the small lamps.
The soft glow dims the side of his face, making his sharp features more prominent. He grabs an old book from the side table and licks his finger then turns the pages. His eyes laser focused as I watched him for a while.
The rainstorm doesn’t look like it will calm down soon, it’s getting angrier.
The soft snoring of Clayton calms me as he falls fast asleep on the chair, the book left open on his lap as his glasses are lopsided on the bridge of his nose.
I rest my head back on the windowsill as I stare outside. A black silhouette movement catches my eye as I sit upright, inching my face closer to the glass and squint my eyes.
Nothing.
Maybe it was my imagination for staring out in the open for hours by now.
A black mass threads through the trees as I follow it with my vision. The tall shadow indicates that it is a man. No one trespasses through this land as Clayton owns it all. I look back at Clayton quickly and he’s still deep in slumber.
When I turn my head back towards the window, I find the man walking towards the lake. He stops on the edge and stares around him. I’m not sure what he is looking for, he seems lost. He looks up at the sky and runs his fingers through his hair in desperation.
He seems lonely.
I stand up slowly and step forward, avoiding all the wooden floor planks that creak.
Clayton’s chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm.
When I walk past him, he stirs and I stand still.
He adjusts his neck, mumbling inaudibly as I let out a breath that I have been holding then continue my way to the stairs.
Holding onto the railing as I descend carefully, my heart beating frantically in my chest as my hands shake and I fist them as much as I can to keep my composure.
I never left the house without Clayton knowing or accompanying me. Obeying has always pleased him, but it left me with an empty feeling each day. My urge to explore and experience the world outside these walls has gotten stronger each day that passes in his safety.
The front door antagonizes me as I stare at it, my hand hovering over the handle as my nerves keep me still.
What if Clayton has one of his hallucinations again and needs me?
The doubtful thoughts whisper in my mind as I’m torn between two decisions. Leave and talk to someone who isn’t Clayton for once, or Stay with him and let my feelings decay.
I start to slowly turn my back to the door but the handle calls to me. I close my eyes and reach for it, the coldness hits against my palm as I open it. The door creaks and I cringe, waiting for the sounds of Clayton stomping down the stairs.
I smile when I hear nothing but the faint sound of his snoring.
I step slowly outside the doorframe and let out a breath of surprise when the rain drops hit my legs.
Once I’m fully outside, the rain drenches me and I look up at the sky, letting them fall down my face until I taste them on my tongue.
My lips tilt up to my eyes as I grin, I have never felt this much joy and excitement. It’s almost like freedom.
I raise my arms beside me and sway them, dancing in the rain as I spin around in a fit of giggles.
The sweater I’m wearing is the only warmth I have, but my body doesn’t seem to mind as the water soaks through the cloth, weighing me down, but I never felt lighter.
An invisible burden lifts off my chest as if I'm flying through the sky in bliss.
A burning presence hit the side of my body as I opened my eyes and found in the distance the unknown man staring at me.
His gaze takes me in with surprise and confusion as he walks towards me.
Instinctively, my feet step back on the grassy ground before I can think about it.
He catches my fear and slows his approach as he keeps his hand raised before him to let me know he is safe.
I don’t dare utter a word as he inches closer to me and I match every step forward of his, backwards.
“Good evening, I have been driving for hours in this storm and my car broke down. I just need to see if you have someone who would help me.” His voice has a soothing tone to it, way different than Clayton’s deep voice.
I look around in hesitation and keep my mouth shut, not sure what to tell him. He has a dark coat on a slightly short frame, his eyes a musky brown, the smile he is giving me radiates his kindness and insecurity.
“I apologize for not introducing myself, my name is Thomas. I’m from the North City. What’s your name miss?”
He is clearly trying to ease me into trusting him and start a normal conversation. Rain pours down his face, making his dark hair strands stick onto his eyes. I want to have a friend, here is my chance.
“Doll.” I stuttered for a second but he gave me patience till I murmured the name.
His features tighten in confusion as he waits for me to correct myself.
I match his confusion with my plank stare.
“Doll? Like artificial plastic human figures? Pardon me, miss, but I never heard someone being called that.”
I stay silent.
He clears his throat and covers his confusion with a gentle smile as he reaches a hand towards me and I look down at it.
“It is nice to meet you, Doll.”
I nod and put my hand in his as his gaze turns to the house. “Your house is beautiful. Do you own the property?”
I hesitate before answering, I don’t own anything that is not Clayton’s.
Thomas raises an eyebrow in encouragement as I nod slowly with a distant stare.
His body is shivering slightly from being in the storm for a long time.
An idea pops into my head as I smile at him.
“You seem cold, come in and rest for a bit. The storm won’t stop for a while. ”
His eyes widen as he sighs in relief, leaning his head back up to the sky. “Yes please, that is so kind of you. I truly appreciate this, Doll.” His hand tightens onto mine as I walk back towards the house.
The door creaks open showcasing the dim light of loneliness as I stand to the side, waiting for him to join.
He eyes the house warily, looking over the dark walls and wooden floors.
He notices that he has been standing still before the front door and smiles at me with embarrassment as he steps in and takes off his coat and hands it beside the door as I close it.
When I face him, I find his eyes stare at mine in admiration as he takes in my features now that are more visible in the light.
His gaze lands on my lips then down to my torso where the drenched sweater clings to my body and his throat works as he shakes his head and looks into my eyes.
His cheeks flush a bit as he clears his throat.
“ I apologize for being a creep, but you are absolutely beautiful, Miss Doll.”
My face heats up with the way he murmurs the words, his eyes stare at mine intensively for a moment as I look away in shyness. “Thank you, would you like to drin–”
“Indeed, she is beautiful.”
My heart skips a beat as I turn slowly and find Clayton leaning onto the stairs railing.
His eyes narrow over Thomas, sizing him up in slight mockery as he descends the stairs slowly with a carefree attitude.
His hands in his pocket, unaffected as he walks towards us and stands in front of me, shielding my view from Thomas.
His frame is taller than Thomas as he looks down at him like dirt on his shoes.
Clayton is utterly calm which is exactly what’s making my hands shake.
“Now tell me, who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my home?” He snarls.
Thomas looks at me in fear, which results in Clayton growling and using his frame to cover me from his view further.