19. Chapter Nineteen
I t doesn’t take long for me to finish off showering and get dressed back into our school uniform. There is a grim tint to everything though. I knew that Dacre has struggled with mental health but seeing him in person in that state was harrowing. Then the way he looked at me after I was able to bring him out of it was nothing short of devastating.
He looked at me like I am the air that he breathes. The only thing that was able to bring him back to himself.
It’s making me rethink everything. About not being so harsh on him. While he still needs to explain, in depth, to me what actually went on and make it up to me, I don’t think I can shut him out.
Under all of this newfound feminine rage that has been marinating for months now, there is still a beating heart. A heart that cracked the moment it saw Dacre so raw and vulnerable.
I vow to listen. To hear them all, but especially Dacre out. It’s clear he needs me. That fact warms my soul. I don’t have it in me to be a cold, relentless bitch. It would destroy me if something happened to Dacre just because I was mad at them for what they did. It may seem like I am bending, like I’m not strong enough, but that's not the case. Under everything, I can’t forget the way I fell so incredibly in love with them. The way it felt like I had known them in another life.
It's clear that I had.
This life.
The before.
Before I was taken by a rival gang and abused.
My hands absently run over one of the scars that is still raised on my stomach. All along I had thought it was from a car crash that stole my memories and half of my family.
But that was just a lie. Instead, reality is a much harder pill to swallow.
Some motherfuckers saw an innocent fucking child and, due to their fragile masculinity, decided to kidnap and torture her out of some kind of petty revenge against my father.
It fuels the rage inside of me that has been growing since the moment they laid everything out on the table for me. Don’t get me wrong, I was, and still am, pissed at them for keeping me in the dark. It made me feel like a fool. Also completely unprepared for the role in which I am to take over from.
A part of me is utterly terrified at the path that lies ahead for me. Going from a barista in a small town in Central Queensland to the next president of a gang? Yeah, I don’t think there is much that could have prepared me for that. In another way though, this feels right. It feels like I am meant to be here. It helps to ease some of the lingering anxiety I was feeling.
It's been hard to keep all of this from my friends back home. Especially Noah and Grace. The thought of keeping something like this from them seems like a betrayal of our friendship. We have always told each other everything. No matter how small or massive. They were the first people I went to when I had finally got my period. Noah told us before his parents that he had gotten into the Brumbies Academy. Grace couldn't wait to boast to us about finally losing her virginity. Noah is a patient man for being able to deal with Grace and I this long.
God, I miss them.
I send them both a quick text letting them know just that too. I get a message back from both of them almost instantly. He clearly didn’t get the earlier hint to go to bed.
NOAH
I miss you more Scar. I hope you are having fun over there with all the stars. Don’t forget us when you are famous.
I chuckle before I send a reply.
SCARLETT
If there is anyone that should be concerned aboutremembering their friends when they are famous,it's you hot shot. Why aren't you asleep?
Instead of a message in reply, my phone lights up with a call. A photo of Noah’s goofy face brightens my screen and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Ugh, why are my fans so obsessed with me? I swear my manager redirected my calls through to an assistant. That’s it, she's fired.” I put on the most ridiculous posh accent I can manage.
I hear an eruption of laughter from the other end of the line and I can't help the laugh that escapes me either.
“God, I miss you Scar,” Noah says once he finally stops laughing, “It's not that same with you not here. Can I come visit yet?”
I can’t help the wave of sadness that overcomes me. I sigh, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill down my cheeks.
“I miss you more than you could ever know, Noah. Don’t you worry, the moment you can, I will be buying plane tickets for you to come over.”
“I wouldn't be too concerned about needing to buy me tickets, Scar,” Noah says trailing off. Just by the tone of his voice, I know he has a surprise in store for me.
“Spill.” Is all I need to say. Noah chuckles.
“Well, Coach Winters called me into his office yesterday. My manager was there as well, and a couple other head figures.”
I could instantly tell that Noah was just trying to torture me with the extended version so before he could continue, I but in. “Hurry up and spit it out Noah. You know I don’t have the patience for this shit.”
“I’m making my debut for the North Magpies next year. They want me apart of the thirty.”
The scream that leaves my lips has the entire girls bathroom startling, trying to look for what I’m guessing they think is a snake or spider or whatever creature they are terrified of but I ignore their stares.
Noah chuckles down the line. “Holy fuck!” I shout. “Please don’t tell me this is some kind of sick joke, Noah,” I say with an edge of caution. It wouldn’t be the first time he has pranked me and I know it won’t be the last.
“I’m not joking. I wouldn’t joke about this.” He promises, his tone serious.
“I’m so fucking proud of you. You are almost there!” I gush. I’m sure I look like an absolute nutcase to the girls still lingering in the bathroom but I refuse to hide my pride for my best friend.
“You are the first to know outside my manager and the team obviously. I’m planning on telling my family and everyone when I go back home once the seasons over.”
“Wait, I am?” I say in disbelief.
“Of course, Scar. I have been waiting until I could finally talk to you and tell you. You have been one of my biggest supporters and I knew you would be just as excited as I am.”
That does it. The tears I have been fighting finally break and I let out a choked sob.
“Shh Scar, please don’t cry. You will make me cry,” Emotion overcoming his voice.
“I can’t help it. I’m so fucking proud of you. I don’t think I have said it enough, but I am. You are there, Noah. After all the bad shit, you are living your dream. Being selected to debut for the Brumbies now is a real possibility!”
“Thanks, Scar,” he whispers .
“Now I guess it's you who still needs to remember us measly peasants when your face is posted on billboards around the country,” I laugh, recalling our earlier conversation.
Noah chuckles too, the heavy mood instantly lifting. “I could never forget you. You are my best friend. My ride or die. I still hold you to the pact we made when we were ten,” he says and I snort, instantly recalling what he is talking about.
“Noah, I love you but I’m not marrying your ass.”
“Come on, future wifey. I know you have secretly always wanted to be a WAG,” he laughs.
“Maybe when I was ten,” I chuckle, then since knowing what I’m about to tell him isn’t going to go down too well. “There’s also been a little bit of change in events.”
There is a slight hesitation to his reply, “...okay.”
“Um, so Rhodes took me to this club the night we got here. It's kind of like a gentlemen's club but super classy. It's also kind of a main hangout spot for everyone. Long story short, I ended up getting up on stage with these girls and singing which was incredible.” I hear Noah laugh but I don’t stop. “Afterwards, Rhodes introduced me to a couple of people. The girls from the band then dragged me over to this other group of people.” I pause, taking a breath. I feel like everything is coming out in one jumbled mess but I can’t seem to explain it any better, needing to just word vomit, “You will never guess who they introduced me to.”
I wait for a reply for a long time. Long enough that I have to check if we are still connected.
“No.” Is all Noah replies with.
“Yes,” I sigh.
“Those motherfucking cunts!” Just as I expected Noah begins yelling obscenities through the phone. There is one thing us Aussies are good at and that’s hurling the most obscure abuse at people. Noah is creative, I’ll give him that.
“So what, I guess those ass sucking toads are begging for forgiveness now?” He finally says once he finally exhausts his creative name calling skills.
I groan, rubbing a hand down my face before collapsing onto one of the benches that lines the locker room. “Well Dacre, Nicky, Pike and Sonny are.”
“What about Dawson?” Noah asks with a grunt. I can just imagine the scowl on his face. It's not often that grumpy Noah comes out to play. That is normally saved for the footy field and whenever someone wrongs his mates. If Noah is one thing, he’s fiercely protective of the people he loves, which makes what he went through in his childhood so incredibly traumatic for him.
“He believes I don’t belong here. Says I need to catch the first plane back to Australia.”
Noah snorts, “Yeah, and that fuck face can take the next train to Cuntsville.”
I can’t contain my laughter. “He would be the fucking mayor too.” Noah adds in which does nothing but heighten my laughter. We sound like a cackle of hyenas.
“Stick to your guns, Scar. Don’t let him get one up on you. This is your chance to get to know your family and make something of yourself.” There’s an edge of pride in Noah’s voice as we finally collect ourselves. My stomach drops knowing what I still have left to tell him.
“Ah, there’s also something else that I didn’t get a chance to tell you or Grace before I left.” I hesitate slightly. My best friends deserve to know the truth. They shouldn’t be blind sighted. Especially if something was to happen to me. Which is a real risk. Apparently.
“Go on.”
I begin telling Noah the shortened version of my Dad’s involvement in the Thunderbirds and who they are. I then go on to explain the ambush and that I was the one that was kidnapped. I hear a sharp inhale of his breath and shuffling down the end of the line, like he's gotten up out of bed to pace his room.
“Jesus fucking christ, Scarlett!” His voice sounds panicked. “I.. I can’t…” He trails off as if trying to find the words for what I just told him.
I let out a breath that I had been holding. “I know. It’s fucking hectic to say the least.”
“The very least.” I note the disbelief in his voice. I can relate. I felt the same way when I was told.
“Yeah. I guess it helps to explain why I can’t remember my childhood and why my father did what he did to protect me.”
Noah just replies with a hum. I can imagine just how raw some of this information is for him. His story isn’t a pretty one but it’s not mine to tell. I will leave that to him and when he is ready.
“That’s not all though.” I wince.
“Fucking hell. What next?”
“Um, well. Obviously, Dad is the President of the Thunderbirds. There’s a hierarchy that sees the first born child claiming their parents position once they become of age. If there isn’t an heir I guess it all goes to a vote within the club. ”
I let my words settle for a moment. Waiting for Noah to fully process what I am trying to say on his own.
He lets out a brash laugh, “Nah.”
“Yeah,” I whisper in reply.
“There’s no fucking way,” he chuckles. “My little Scarlett Smith. A motherfucking President of a gang,” he says in absolute disbelief. “Do they know that you have a hint of crazy?”
“I think that's what they are wanting from me,” I laugh.
“Shit, Scar. I knew you didn’t know what you planned on doing after school, but becoming a gang member wasn’t in my top ten picks.”
“Top one hundred at least?” I question. I can’t help the way a giggle escapes as I say it or the way it turns into a full blown laugh as he replies.
“Top twenty for sure. Although, I would have pegged Grace to be up there. That girl is a full fledged psycho.”
He is so true. Ever since she learned of Nicky, Pike, Dacre, Sonny and Dawson; she has been planning at building a harem of her own. Much to her disappointment, the guys she has been talking to aren’t really in the ‘sharing’ scene.
“Surprised?” I ask once the laughter has settled.
“That’s a good way of putting it,” he says.
“You aren’t mad?”
He pauses for a moment. I can’t help the anxiety that fills my chest. Noah and I don’t fight. Sure we will bicker here and there, but the thought of having an actual fight with him makes me feel physically sick.
“I could never be angry at you for something like this, Scar.” I let out a breath of relief as he continues, “I just want you to be safe. If things get too much, you jump on the first plane home. I know I’m not much but I will lay down my life to protect you. Do you hear me?” His voice is firm and there is no room for joking around. Noah has been a fierce protector from the moment I met him. If he wasn’t firmly in the friend zone, I would have stayed true to our childhood pact and married him right then and there.
I nod, even though he can’t see it. “Okay.”
“Promise me, Scarlett.”
“I promise,” I say with all the sincerity I can. It settles something in my chest knowing I have some form of escape plan. I didn’t realise I even needed one, but now that I have it, I will keep it close to my chest.
“Right, well this is heavy as fuck,” he laughs after a moment.
I laugh too as I pick up my bag and begin heading out of the locker room. It’s completely empty now. The girls all left after hearing me cackling.
I open the door and begin to step out but as I do, I hit a brick wall. Or what, in that moment, feels like one. I let out a yelp in surprise. Hands grab my waist to help steady me and as I look up, instead of it being a wall, it's Nicky looking down at me with just as much surprise on his face.
I clutch the hand that doesn’t have my phone in it to my chest as I try to calm my racing heart. “Jesus, Nicky. You scared the fuck out of me.”
“I’m sorry, baby girl. We were just getting worried since you hadn’t come out yet. Just wanted to check and make sure you were okay,” he says, as he slowly steps back and his hands drop from their place on my waist.
He looks over my entire body, like he is checking for injuries before coming back to my face. He then sees the phone and gives me a questioning look. Before I can say anything to Nicky, what sounds like a growl comes from down the line.
“Put that motherfucking dog cunt on the phone, Scarlett. I have a few choice words to say to him.” I giggle, shaking my head before pulling the phone away from my ear.
I look at Nicky, letting my features become as sweet as I can muster. “It’s for you.”
He looks at me with a questioning look but I just hold my phone out to him, letting my features give nothing away. He grabs the phone out of my hand and slowly lifts it to his ear.
“Hello?” Nicky says, slowly. That gruff voice of his unsure at who's on the end of the line.
For a moment there is nothing. Noah must say something and knowing him, its fucking creative. The colour drops from Nicky’s face as he locks eyes with me. I just give him an innocently sweet smile.
He listens still for a while longer, humming his agreement every so often. His eyes are still blown wide at the abuse I'm sure he is copping from my best friend.
Checkmate.