20. Chapter Twenty
N icky’s face is comical during the entire exchange. He remains silent during the entire call but every so often, his face twitches or he shivers during what I am sure is an absolute beat down. I know that even if Nicky wanted to reply to whatever he was being told, he would haven’t even been given a chance. When Noah gets into these rants of his, there is no stopping him.
His words cut Nicky deep. I watch as his face contorts. At first it's in shame, knowing just how deeply he has hurt me. Then it's in horror. I chuckle to myself as I watch the way his eyes blow wide. Nicky and the guys might be big and tough but when it comes to fiercely protecting people they love, Noah is unstoppable. After a while, Nicky eventually nods.
“Yeah man, I hear you loud and clear. I know my promises may seem empty to you right now and I’m not trying to butter you up. I know just how badly I fucked up. I will forever regret the choices I made that day,” he lets out a sigh, “I broke my girl's heart. I will regret that everyday for the rest of my life. But nothing will stop me from making it up to her. I will win her back. I will protect her with my life. I will be there no matter what, even if she doesn't want me anymore.”
Nicky then listens intently, nodding every so often before saying a short goodbye to Noah. He hands me back the phone. I pull it up to my ear, already chuckling.
“I would love nothing more than a word count on how many times you said the words ‘cunt’ in that exchange.”
“There’s a reason it's my favourite word,” Noah sniggers. “I set that fucker straight though, Scar,” I go to butt in but he doesn’t give me a chance, “and before you go saying that you already had it under control, I would be the world’s shittest best friend if I didn’t tell at least one of those fuckers exactly what I thought.” I roll my eyes but I can’t help but feel grateful to have someone like Noah in my life. There is a reason he is my best friend and this is one of them.
“I love your face.”
“I love your face even more. Now that I’m done abusing men for the night, I’m going to head to bed. I’ve got training first thing in the morning.”
“Ok. Good night.”
“Night, Scar.”
I end the call and quickly tuck my phone away in my back pocket. Nicky hasn’t moved from his position in front of me. I look up at him and note the expression on his face. I remain silent as we stare into each other's eyes.
It's not some kind of alpha versus alpha pissing contest, but more of a communication between injured souls. Souls that refuse to fight the distance the bodies continue to put between them. We both know where our path will lead us. Our fate has been set from the moment our journeys collided. We are both equal in our inability to fight it. He has always been mine and I have always been his.
At that moment, as we remain locked on each other, I am able to see it clearly.
For god’s sake, I even lost all memories of where our childhoods were so deeply intertwined. No matter how far we are apart, whether that be different cities or on opposite ends of the planet, we will always find our way back to each other.
Not a single part of me rebels at that fact. If anything, I hold it closer to me. It might not be okay right now, but it will be.
Nicky eventually smiles bringing us both out of stupor. “Noah was fucking brutal,” he chuckles quietly, his voice low.
I nod. “He’s fierce when he is in protection mode. I’ve never been on the receiving end of his wrath but I can imagine how your ego might be feeling right about now.”
He laughs, nodding. “Yeah, you can say that again. His choice of abuse is quite…” he pauses, trying to find the word, “colourful.”
I snort, “That’s an understatement. I’ve heard some of the things he has thrown around at dickheads down at the pub. They don’t quite make sense but they are effective.”
“Lets just say I’ve never been called a ‘douchemonging koala fucker’ before.”
I can’t help the full belly laugh that escapes me then. I eventually calm myself down enough to look up at Nicky. His smile is wide as he looks down at me as I catch my breath.
“So your ego took quite a hit then I guess?” I ask .
He nods but his stare is still locked on my face, “Yeah, it did. That along with the dressing down Mr Green just gave us too. But it's healing with the way you are looking at me right now.”
I will the smile off my face but it won’t fade. I feel a light blush slowly tinge my cheek. I look away, trying my best to cover it. Nicky brings his hand and lifts my chin back up to his gaze.
“Don’t shy away from me, baby girl. I want all of your emotions. No matter what they are, I can handle them.”
I smile ruefully at him, an eyebrow lifting, “Be careful what you wish for.”
He shakes his head at me. I watch as his expression changes to one of seriousness. “I don’t think you understand, Scarlett. I know just how desperately I fucked up. I can’t speak for the guys but I can speak for myself. I never should have ghosted you in the way I did. I see the pain that I caused written all over your face and it kills me.” Pain seeps through his tone, vulnerability pouring from every word he says, “I will never be able to take that back but I know that I can work every day to prove I’m not that person. That I deserve a position in your life no matter how big or small you decide it to be.”
Words fail me as I stare up into his eyes. I dissect every single word he says along with every single emotion I see in his eyes as I try to find a lie or hint of deception, but I find neither. I see nothing but the truth in his hazel eyes. The eyes that have taunted me for the last nine months.
I nod again as I force myself to swallow the sob that threatens to bubble from my throat. I can’t help the way my eyes water though. Nicky instantly notices and gives me a sad smile. He brings his hand up to caress my cheek before he wipes away one of the tears that involuntarily falls down my cheek. I lean into his touch, soaking up the strength from him that I need right now.
I don’t know how these men do it so easily but they break down each wall I erect around myself almost instantly.
“I know that all of these pretty words are just that. I want you to know that I plan on backing them up with action. You are my soul, Scarlett.”
More tears leak from my eyes at his admission. Three words threaten to burst from me but I force them away. He knows exactly how I feel. He doesn’t need them right now. There is another time for that.
“I will grovel at your feet every day for the rest of my life to make it up to you, baby girl. You need someone, I want to be the first person you call. You’ve had a shit day and need someone to rant to about it, I’m there. You need a cheerleader, I’m there. A shoulder to cry on, I’m there. Someone to love every single inch of the incredible human being you are. To love all of your flaws. To stick it out during the bad and celebrate in the good. I am there.”
I launch myself at Nicky, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him tight. He reciprocates instantly. His embrace tight, even if there were gale force winds, it wouldn’t be able to separate us. I hold onto him like he is my lifeline, just like he said he would be. After his proclamation, it feels like he is. He stripped me raw only to slowly begin putting back the pieces. I know we still have a long road ahead of us. But this is a good start.
This right here is what I needed. This is what I have been aching for. A declaration. A dedication.
The tears fall freely now and the sob I tried to fight slips free. Nicky brings his face down to the top of my head.
“Shh, baby girl,” he whispers, “I’ve got you.”
“Promise?” My voice is weak and trembles slightly.
“Promise.” His declaration is final. A weight lifts off my chest albeit slightly. A part of me is rejoicing at his vow but the other part is reminding me that he once promised something similar. Something that within hours he destroyed. I do my best to keep myself in the present. Second chances should always be given to those that deserve it; and every part of me wants to give it to Nicky.
I take in a deep breath as I slowly collect myself. I bring my hands up to my face through where our bodies are so closely bound. I wipe the tears that had yet to soak into Nicky’s t-shirt. His arms loosen from around me and I take a slow step back from him.
He gives me a questioning look, checking in with me without using words. I give him a curt nod letting him know I’m okay.
“Come on then, Scar. Coach will murder us if we are late for training. You think he is brutal during class? That’s got nothing on the hell he rains down on you if you fuck around during weapons and combat.”
Sonny, Dacre and Pike walk over to us, knowing smiles on their faces.
“Nicky is right Scar, he is brutal. I was late once and he made me clean the entire armoury with a toothbrush. It took me three days. I can still feel the calluses on my hands.” Pike shivers.
My eyes widen, and I instantly quicken my pace. “That settles it. Hurry up fuckers, I don’t plan on being late.” I walk past Dawson who is standing within earshot of us. I shoulder check him as I steam past, “Except for you. You can get lost off a cliff. ”
Dawson just grunts, not bothering to retort any of the bullshit he has come to spew since I got here. A stab of pain shoots through me at the way our relationship has failed. While things ended exactly the same as the Nicky, Pike, Dacre and Sonny, they didn’t spew absolute venom at me and partially demand my head. I’m just thankful my earlier tantrum has seemed to take the wind out of his sails. I don’t know how much more I could have taken before eventually snapping.
Training is held at the Thunderbirds’ headquarters. The building looks way too modern to belong to a gang. Initially, I expected some kind of beaten down bar with motorcycles out the front. While the image of the bikes runs true, the building is really what surprises me.
My eyes widen even further as we walk through the front doors. A wall of alcohol in every single flavour covers the entirety of the back wall. A bar just as long takes up the space in front. I spot a few gruff men I haven’t met yet sitting at stools with neat glasses of amber liquids. When they notice me, their eyes spark with recognition. One guy stands up from the bar, a mix of emotions dazzling his face. Disbelief, surprise, and relief are all prominent. He reaches us at lightning speed. I am instantly engulfed in an embrace so tight, my lungs feel like they are crushed. I stiffen in shock.
“Oh, Scarlett, my sweet girl. Shelly told me you were back, I couldn’t believe it. Then Dakes came home and confirmed it. But, seeing you with my own eyes.” The man pulls back, his hands stay gripped at my shoulders as he looks at me, “God, you have become the most beautiful young woman. I never thought I’d see the day our Star was brought back to us.” His eyes well with tears and my heart clenches at the sheer emotion on the strangers face. Dacre slides up beside us, wrapping an arm around my back in what I think to be reassurance.
“Scarlett, this is my Dad, Grant.” My shoulders relax at the confirmation of who the man is. I look at him then and on closer inspection, I instantly see the family resemblance. Dacre looks exactly like his Dad. Where Dacre keeps his hair styled, Grant’s mousey brown hair is kept short, almost in a buzzcut.
“Nice to meet you, Sir,” I nod, before offering my hand.
Grant looks at my hand before scoffing. He doesn’t hesitate as he steps forward and engulfs me in another hug. I pause but return the hug.
“Don’t you dare call me Sir. I have known you since you were in diapers and it’s always been Grant. Except for that period of time where you called me Ant.” Grant laughs as he pulls back from me. I can’t help but chuckle.
“Your mother and Shelly always got a good laugh out of it too. It was near impossible to separate those two. Then that gene was passed down onto the both of you. Dacre here used to follow you around like a little lost puppy dog,” he laughs, his voice turning babyish as he ruffles Dacre's hair.
I laugh as I watch Dacre’s cheeks turn crimson as he looks away shyly. When he looks up I give him a reassuring smile. “I can’t wait to learn more.”