Chapter 17 Gracie #3
That first night with Vyslan didn’t seem life-altering in the moment.
It was sex. But it was a turning point for me.
One that helped me realize I was hurting myself, lying about what I wanted.
Experiencing the freedom and fulfillment that came after is what cemented this path for me. There is no going back.
Puck sits up and strokes his fingers over the back of my hand. “Is it so wrong to want you to myself?”
“No. I think you and I need to spend time just the two of us. We have a lot of shit to work out. But I also don’t think it’s fair to ask me to love just one of you given everything that’s happened and the relationships I have now.
If you can accept that we have work to do, then I think we need to have regular one-on-one time.
My relationship with you is different than my relationship with the others. ”
He sighs and leans sideways into the cushions, our hands intertwining. “I suppose part of me was hoping that you’d grown-up human enough to not want or need multiple partners.”
There are reasons beyond procreating that witches take multiple partners.
Partners serve as elemental links or grounds, each with a different role.
Some witches take partners for purely functional reasons, like healers.
It’s only in recent years that the family structures revolved around one woman with many men.
Witches need partners they can trust. Partners to anchor them.
To bond their magic with. It’s social, emotional, and practical.
“That was a stupid, short-sighted wish, wasn’t it?” he asks.
“Do you want the truth? Or do you need some coddling?”
He chuckles,, and it feels like there’s this subtle shift. “Coddle me, please?”
I tug him to me. He falls sideways, his head coming to rest on my chest as I encircle his shoulders with my arms.
I can’t say that what he did and the choices he made are okay.
But I understand the underlying fear that drives him.
The truth is that he’s thought about me far more than I’ve thought about him.
There are ways he’s considered me that I don’t yet understand.
And that’s special. It’s worth giving him one more chance.
But for that chance to work, Puck has to be willing to change.
He slides over a bit more and grasps my forearm. I press a kiss to his brow and squeeze.
“Trying to choke me out?” he asks.
“Will you be more agreeable if I do?”
We both chuckle. I stroke my fingers over his curls and we settle into the cushions.
It’s never been like this. Me holding him. With us, it’s always been the other way around. And I think that fucked with my head. I’ve been some precious thing to Puck, but not a person. I need for him to see me that way. That I have wants, needs, and dislikes that should be respected.
“How long was I gone before you and Ezra…?”
“How long?” I snort and tilt my head to the side, looking down at him. “How long until Ezra was anything but my friend and employee?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh, Dude. It’s only been like… A week? Ten days? What even is today?”
“A week?” Puck’s head tilts up, and he looks at me with his face drawn back in shock. “Ten days?”
I—gently—flick his ear. “Yeah, asshole.”
He glares at me. “Ow.”
“How much do you want to know?”
He sighs and settles back against me. “Hit me with it. The overview, not the play-by-play.”
So I tell him. I tell him how Ezra was there for me, always a comforting shoulder.
How I was eaten up with guilt about my attraction for Ezra.
Especially since I knew they didn’t get on well.
I don’t spare Puck’s feelings. He needs to know how much his decisions harmed me.
It’s a little funny how Ezra and I didn’t cross that line until I’d officially broken up with Puck.
It doesn’t mean the emotional entanglements weren’t messy and a little damning, but I also don’t think I was in the wrong given how Puck left me.
“A fucking week,” he mutters and sighs. “Wouldn’t have mattered. The longer Darius sees something, the more certain it becomes.”
“Were you always against the idea of a large family?”
“Not entirely. When Ezra found you and I realized who he was, I suppose I spiraled. That’s when I started wanting to change things.”
“You could have killed him.”
“And what if he shared a mate bond with you already? That would have killed you.”
“How is this going to work?”
He sighs. It’s a long, dramatic sound that seems to go on forever, but he relaxes so fully against me it’s pleasant being held down by his weight.
“Don’t tell him I said this, but… I’m glad he took care of you. I really didn’t think I’d be gone as long as I was. I’m sorry, Gracie. I really never meant to hurt you. You’re my world. My heart. The ray of hope in my otherwise bleak existence.”
“That… is… a lot.” I kiss the top of his head and hug him. We aren’t in a great place, but we’re better. Small steps. “Do you think the two of you can get along?”
“I’ll try to get to know him apart from being a vampire. I confess I never did see him as anything other than human. I don’t know the first thing about him.”
“It’s probably not my place to say this, but the two of you have a lot in common.
If you want to talk to someone about shitty families being shitty and cutting them out of your life, he might be a great sounding board.
He’s farther down that road than you are.
He probably has some good tips if you’re willing to listen to him. ”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says slowly. “Your pain is rising.”
“Is it?” I deadpan and smack his chest with my palm. “Totally hadn’t noticed.”
“You didn’t take anything with lunch.”
“No, but I was thinking one of the Green Broke gummies would be amazing for a cuddle nap.”
“Green Broke. Is that a new product?”
“Hm, yes. It’s a hybrid strain of Hairy Goat with something else Poppy won’t tell me yet in a gummy. It’s more of a euphoric high. It’s a nice head and body mix.”
“Explain the name, please.”
I chuckle. “It’s based off an old recipe for this juice witches used to make. It made you feel young again. Somehow that got linked to a green broke horse, which… What is that?”
“That is a horse that isn’t fully trained.”
“Oh. Learned something new. Then it makes sense. The juice often came with a warning about forgetting your limits and inhibitions.”
“Let me guess, Briella came up with it from some old, obscure text?”
“Yes.”
“Got. It.” He pats my arm then sits up and turns to face me. He leans in, gaze searching my face. “Are we okay?”
“I want us to be.” I slide my hands over his shoulders and down his arms then back up. “I really want us to be. But, it’s going to take some work. Things are different now. I like this version of myself. She’s not as meek and docile as I used to be, so you’ve got some adjusting to do.”
“Darling, I hate to break this to you, but you were never meek or docile. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. It wasn’t my intent.”
“I’m choosing to believe you. Don’t make me regret it.”
“Okay,” he says. “Kiss?”
“Kiss,” I agree.
He leans in, plush lips covering mine. The kiss is sweet and lingering and over all too soon. He pecks my lips three times in a row with loud, smacking kisses.
“I will earn my way back into your good graces.”
“That means getting along with everyone else.”
He grimaces. “That… Is reasonable. It will also take more time.”
“Hopefully, not too much time.” I chuckle, but it’s a real concern. I’m a witch, and we live longer than normal humans, but not forever.
His nose wrinkles. “Let’s start with cuddle naps and bad demonic TV.”
I gasp and sort of fall into his arms, my legs not quite ready to hold me. “Have you seen it?”
He picks me up, a move I used to forbid. But if he’s changing, so can I. “A bit. Enough to know I’m going to want to be really high watching it.”
I loop my arms around his neck. “I’m totally on board with this.”