Chapter 19
ADAM
Adam Sage was no fool. He’d seen quite a few animals go into labor, and humans were not so different from livestock when it came to the warning signs, aside from it being somewhat more painful, as far as he could tell.
Humans also seemed to be the only species that went into complete denial about it.
He stared down at Kyra, wishing he could deny what was happening, too. “You’re having the baby,” he said in a way that invited no argument. “And based on how frequent your contractions are, you’re having it soon. We should get you to the hospital.”
“But that’s hours away,” she protested.
Adam heaved a deep sigh. “Well, you should have thought about that before you insisted on driving all the way here. Weren’t you keeping track of your timeline?”
“Yes!” She glared hard at him. “I told you I thought I had more time.” Then she gripped the couch again and cried out even louder than she had before. “OK, that was a bad one. Oh, please, I don’t want to have the baby in a car. That’s always been my worst nightmare.”
“That’s your worst nightmare? Are you sure?” He was intentionally provoking her. Focusing on being angry with him would give her somewhere to vent her frustrations as her pain mounted.
As soon as she came out of her most recent contraction, she looked at him like she could easily bite his head off if he got a little closer. “I don’t want to have a baby in a car.” She enunciated each word as though he was hard of hearing.
He gave her a half smile. “You’ll just have to have it here then.”
“No!” she cried.
“Those appear to be your only two options. I would have advised you not to drive up here while you were having abdominal cramps, but I wasn’t made aware.”
She clearly wanted to spit a perfect comeback at him, and she probably would have, but instead she curled into herself in pain again. “Fine,” she said when the contraction had passed. “Fine, I’ll stay here.”
Adam grinned. “You’re in good hands.” He displayed confidence to keep her from panicking, but deep down he was far more worried than she was.
A lot could go wrong during birth, but there wasn’t any choice.
Having the baby in a car would be a bad idea, she wasn’t wrong about that.
At least having it here left him free to act if he needed to.
He quickly texted her mother to let her know what was happening.
Maybe she could get someone to them in time, though he doubted it.
From the living room, he heard Kyra scream.
She was definitely quite a way along in her labor.
She must have been in denial for hours before she left.
He gathered blankets, pillows, and towels, anything he felt might make things more comfortable for her.
Then he brought them out to her and made a little nest on the floor.
“You’re probably not going to want to stay on the couch like that.
I’ve read that it’s a bit easier in other positions.
Some people like to get on their hands and knees for this part. ”
Kyra slid from the couch and made herself comfortable in the nest he’d created for her. “How do you know so much about this anyway?”
“I’ve helped horses and cows before, and it’s basically the same,” he said, which wasn’t the entire truth. He knew as much as he did about human birth because he had taken the time to start researching it shortly after he found out she was pregnant.
She laughed, still holding on to her sense of humor. “So, you’re saying I’m no different from livestock?”
He nudged her and took a moment to rub the small of her back. “Obviously, I read a few books, too.”
“I knew it!” She pointed an accusing finger at him. “I knew you were reading up on babies. And you acted like you didn’t care.” She scoffed and then lost herself in another contraction.
He bent over her and supported her in the only way he could. “Of course I care. You’re important to me, and so is this baby.”
“Then why don’t you want to be its father?” she asked in another moment of clarity.
“It’s because I care so much that I didn’t want to be a father,” he admitted.
Somehow, admitting everything to her right now seemed like the best thing he could do.
Instinctively, he just knew it. She needed to hear the truth, and he was going to give it to her.
He was going to give her anything she needed.
“I didn’t have a good father, so I never believed I would be able to be one.
I don’t know how. Keep breathing,” he reminded her when she started to hold her breath.
When she could listen again, he continued.
“I thought someone else would be a better father than I would. That’s why I was so devastated when I learned you were pregnant.
Because if you were going to be a mother, then someone who would inevitably fail at being a father was not the right partner for you.
I wanted you to stay by my side, but I knew it was selfish in the end. ”
She turned her head to give him the most withering look she’d ever given him, which was quite an achievement.
“That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.
Of course you’re the right partner for me.
You’re the only partner I want, and you’re the best person to be a father to this baby. I’m the mother, so I should know!”
When she cried out again, he knew the time for conversation was over.
She was having the baby now. His instincts, research, and years of practice finally kicked in as he did what needed to be done to assist her.
In the end, she would have to do all the hard work herself, but he knew how to be a support, how to keep an eye on things, and how to reassure her that things were going smoothly.
In the end, her labor was shockingly short.
They’d been right when they assumed there was no time to drive anywhere.
He was glad he hadn’t forced her to give birth in a car, and he was more glad that he’d seen his animals give birth before.
While it was definitely different, it was the best training he could have gotten outside of actual medical training.
He didn’t pass out. He didn’t panic. He knew what to expect and what to prepare for.
Again and again, he told Kyra how well she was doing, that things were looking perfect.
Her body already knew what to do, and Adam knew better than to get in the way.
For the last part of the delivery, Kyra was unreachable.
Her focus was instinctively exactly where it needed to be, and Adam let her stay there, only occasionally reassuring her when he felt there was a chance she needed to hear it.
Truth be told, he was probably far more worried than she was.
He couldn’t feel what she felt, so he had no idea exactly what was going on with her.
He couldn’t bear the thought that anything bad might happen to her or the baby.
Part of him knew he was worrying for no reason, that everything happening right now was natural and normal.
Things were going about as smoothly as could be expected under the circumstances.
But he couldn’t make his heart understand, not when she was so obviously in pain.
Before long, Adam finally saw his child for the first time.
He held his breath until he heard the baby cry.
Then he heaved a deep sigh of relief. Kyra collapsed while he handled the cleanup.
. He wanted her to feel at ease, so he did everything he thought they might have done for her in the hospital.
He wrapped the baby in a clean blanket. “It’s a girl,” he said to Kyra as soon as he knew.
“Really?” she said, sounding like she was about to pass out. Adam helped her sit up on the couch and handed the baby to her. As soon as she glanced down at the baby in her arms, she said, “She’s beautiful,” and her face lit up. “Don’t you think she’s beautiful?”
“She is.” He nodded and sat down across the room, watching the two of them from a distance. They looked so perfect together, but it was a picture he’d never felt he could be part of. At the same time, he’d been there when it mattered, hadn’t he? She’d needed him, and he was there.
From his chair across the room, from this perfect vantage point, Adam considered how his father might have reacted to such a situation.
As soon as the question hit him, the answer did, too.
There was no doubt in his mind. His father would have run.
He would have either forced her into a car and driven her to the hospital, leaving her to deliver a baby alone in the back seat of the car she didn’t want to be in, or he would have sent for someone else and left.
Calm would have been the worst way to describe him.
Out of pure instinct, Adam had done the opposite of what his father would have done. He hadn’t even needed to think about it. His body had naturally done what needed to be done to support the woman he loved and his new baby.
He was exhausted from the stress, but he refused to close his eyes.
He didn’t want to look away from the two people in front of him, the two people he now loved more than anyone else on the planet.
The words wife and daughter echoed in his thoughts and made him feel warm and complete.
For years, he’d had no direction. The ranch had given him something to focus on, but it still felt like he was waiting for something.
Only now did he realize what, or rather who, he was waiting for.
Kyra’s eyes finally fluttered open again. Adam didn’t know how long he’d been watching her sleep with her baby on her chest, but it didn’t matter in the end. He would have stayed another five hours if he could have. He’d never felt more peaceful or more sure of anything in his life.
“Hi,” Kyra whispered when she saw him staring at her.
“Hi,” he responded with a smile.
“Do you want to hold her for a little bit?” she asked.
He nodded and walked over to the couch. So carefully it felt like slow motion, he curled his arms around his baby, and hugged her to his chest. She made little sounds at his touch, and he touched her face with the tip of one finger.
She was so fragile, so small. He loved her immediately.
“Have you chosen a name for her?” he asked.
“I have a list of potentials,” she said. “But I couldn’t decide on one.”
“Can I help?” he asked.
She blinked at him, unsure what to say. “Sure, but I thought… I thought you didn’t want to be part of it.”
“Can I change my mind?”
She tried to sit up but groaned and lay back again. “You… wouldn’t tease me about that, would you?”
Adam sat down next to her, still holding his baby in his arms. “No, I wouldn’t.
I just realized something is all. I don’t want to be like my father.
He would have run away from anything that scared him, and that’s almost what I did to you.
Fatherhood scares me, but maybe that’s normal.
Maybe everyone is worried about what kind of father they’ll be. ”
Kyra’s eyes lit up, but there was a wariness in her look, too, like she couldn’t quite believe it. “I think I’d be more concerned if you weren’t worried about being a good father. The fact that you care makes me trust you more.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead once. “Thank you. The truth is, I wanted to tell you a lot of things on the phone, and then I chickened out. I was going to tell you when you got here, and then I chickened out again.”
She laughed under her breath. “Me, too. But if you mean what you’re saying right now, I don’t think any of the stuff I wanted to say to you is relevant anymore.”
The baby shifted and made another sound, and Adam fell in love with her all over again. “Do you think she’ll look like me?”
“Of course,” Kyra said with a chuckle. “You’re the pretty one in this relationship.”
“I beg to differ.”
“You can beg, but I won’t give in.”
Adam smiled and held her hand with the arm that wasn’t cradling his daughter.
“The day you first walked into my life, all chaotic sunshine and crazy ideas, I fell madly in love with you. I hope you know that. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew it was going to be you or no one.” He squeezed her hand.
“The choice, in the end, is all yours. If you’ll have me, I’m yours. ”
“You mean it?” Again, she was struggling to believe it. “I’m not having a weird post-delivery hallucination, am I?”
He laughed. “I don’t think that’s a thing, but I promise this is real. Stay with me, and I’ll make you the happiest woman in Alder Creek.”
Kyra could barely contain her joy. He saw it on her face as clear as day.
The fact that he could make her this happy was all he needed to know to be certain this decision was the only right one.
He was going to be a father. No, he already was a father, and he was going to be the best one he knew how to be.
He was not going to repeat the mistakes of his own father, but he would learn from them.
For the first time in his life, rather than feeling afraid of the prospect, he was elated.
He was excited. He couldn’t think of anything that would make him happier, in fact.
As comfortable as he’d gotten with solitude, he would never have to get accustomed to it again.
He had a family — and a beautiful one, too — and he couldn’t wait to see what else the future held for them.