Chapter 13
Before everyone in my family found out, I had to tell them about Jill, and the only safe thing to do was lie. Mom couldn’t be trusted not to tell her friends it was all for show, and Dad often said things before thinking, so he could easily let the info slip. I liked to keep my dopey brother on a need-to-know basis, and while I could trust Gwen, she’d probably give me a lecture about being untruthful. Keeping it to myself was the way to go.
I called Mom and Dad before I headed out on my week-long road trip and told them about Jill. I kept it casual, but as usual, they were both on speakerphone in case a detail was missed. Mom was excited about the prospect of me having a girlfriend, while Dad didn’t seem to care either way … or so he let on.
“Is this serious? Because if it’s not serious, I don’t even want to know her name,” Dad said. “I always have trouble keeping track of them.”
For the purpose of this call and the charade, yes, Jill was as serious as it got. “I think so. We’ve only been dating a few weeks, but I like her. She different. She has an MBA, is head of PR department for the Kodiaks, and keeps me in line.”
“I want all the details,” Mom said. “How did you meet her?”
“Through Ethan and Tangi. She’s Tangi’s best friend.”
Dad groaned. “You aren’t going to get yourself into trouble again. Are you allowed to date employees of the team?”
“Clay knows about it, and he’s okay with it. We would have never started dating without his approval.” Imagine if they knew Clay arranged the union.
While they peppered me with questions, I finished packing. We had an early flight the next morning, and I wanted everything ready to go, and I also wanted a good night’s sleep.
“What does she look like? Is she from Vancouver?”
“Blonde, blue eyes, she’s pretty tall. No, she’s from Minnesota. She moved for the job.”
“When you have your Christmas break, you should bring her home. We want to meet her,” Mom said with excitement. “Wouldn’t that be nice.”
Like that was going to happen. “I’ll ask her, but don’t count on it. My break is short this year, and like I said, this is early times.”
“Well, I’m happy you met someone, son,” Dad said. “After the kerfuffle with your teammate’s ex, you need to settle down with someone stable. Did you ever find out who posted that video?”
“I have no idea. It could be anyone.”
The fact Dad had downgraded it to a kerfuffle gave me a chuckle. Dad had a way of downplaying things to Mom, then hitting me between the eyes later. He’d rather keep her in the dark than upset her.
“To think,” Mom said, “they actually thought you’d fool around with a teammate’s wife? How ridiculous. You should have sued.”
Mom still looked at me as a little boy. Not once had she considered the idea that I’d slept with Orla. Dad, on the other hand, was more pragmatic. He’d been the one letting me in late at night when I’d been fooling around. He also been the one to give me all the lectures. Too bad none had stuck. “I just want the whole thing over with. Anyway, I wanted you both to know before it got out. I do have to run. I still have to pack for an early flight tomorrow, but I’ll call or text.”
I hung up and saw a ton of notifications on my phone, all from Instagram. I clicked one the notification, and it took me to the picture Jill had posted. It was the selfie from the coffee shop, but not the one where I had pulled her into my lap. While that one was cute, it was probably too much for a first pic of us. Instead, she’d gone with the two of us smiling into the camera. Despite the conversation we’d had that day, her smile looked genuine.
I scrolled through the comments on her post. There weren’t many because she didn’t have a huge following, but a few people had cautioned her against me. No surprise there. Others congratulated her—they seemed to be her friends. I had a few unsolicited messages from random people telling me not to break her heart. One person called me a piece of shit. Right. I turned off my messaging, just like I’d turned it off when the Orla news broke. I’d waited a month to turn it back on because my brother and I liked to communicate that way, but nope, we’d be back to texting only.
I thought of Jill again. So much of what I’d found out that day made sense. No father and a shitty mother led to a fucked-up kid. And even though she’d made something of herself, emotionally, she was damaged, and that wasn’t fair. But I couldn’t let myself feel sorry for her. That was the last thing I wanted to do. But the next morning, as we ate breakfast on our flight to Denver, I broached the subject with Ethan.
“You’ve known Jill a long time. What’s the deal with her family situation?”
“Did she actually tell you about that?” he asked, dipping a spoon into his oatmeal.
“A bit. I’m guessing it’s not something she talks about?”
Ethan shook his head. “Nope. Everything I know about Jill’s family came from Tang. Jill has never told me a thing, and it’s not like we’re chummy.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but he kept eating so I punched him in the arm. “What do you know?” I loved the guy, but he could be a bit dense.
“Right. Okay. Her dad left when she was two or three. I don’t think she remembers him at all. Her mom sounds like a piece of work. One of those types who didn’t want to be a mom. Tang seemed to think she got pregnant to keep the dude, but when he bolted, she got bored with being a mom. But who really knows. Tang met Jill in middle school, and they clicked immediately. After that, I think Jill spent more time at the Kildare house than she did at her own. Tangi’s family was good to her, but she still had to go home to her shitty mother. By the time I met Tang, they were already friends, and Jill didn’t like me much, though she doesn’t like many people.”
My parents couldn’t have been more different, and I couldn’t understand why her parents had been so bad. “Damn. Why do people do this to their kids?”
“Don’t know. But I do know Jill got a job the minute she could, would work full time and even worked full time when she was in high school. Guess she didn’t want to be around her mother. I think Tang told me that Jill’s mom had her paying bills and shit when she got that job, so the second she turned eighteen, she got a shitty apartment, but she was happy. I remember helping her move some secondhand furniture, and the Kildares helped out with pots, pans, dishes, that kind of stuff.”
While he spoke, I ate my eggs and slice of whole-wheat toast, and digested what he was telling me. It squared up with what Jill had said. “That’s a rough life. Having no one who cares about you.”
“Tangi’s mom was like a second mom … or a real mom. She was a good influence on Jill. If she hadn’t been around, who knows how Jill would have turned out.”
“Yeah, but the damage was done.”
Ethan thought about that a moment and agreed.
We finished up breakfast, and a few of the guys started playing cards. It passed the time on flights around North America. Ethan and three other guys were playing a season-long Rummy tournament. Whoever had the most points by the end of the year won the pot of money they’d wagered. Sometimes I joined other card games, but most of the time I liked to read the paper, a good book, or take a nap. But today I was wide awake with Jill on my mind. I knew better than anyone that you couldn’t fix people, but maybe I could make things better for her. Maybe I could get her to have more fun. That’s if she would let me.
As our flight was beginning its decent into Denver, Ethan took the seat next to me and buckled in.
“How’s the game going?” I asked.
“I’m in second place, but it’s early days. Ask me in three months.” When I didn’t react, he spoke up again. “You still thinking about Jill?”
“No, not really. Maybe a little.”
Ethan sighed dramatically. “Do you like her?”
“No, of course not,” I said. “I’m just trying to figure it all out.”
“I get it. She’s hot. She’s also a mess. She’s a lot to deal with. You really want to get mixed up in that? You’re playing make-believe. It’s probably a good idea if you keep it that way.”
I had no idea what I was feeling. More confusion than anything else, and getting into a relationship with Jill was the last thing I wanted to do.