Chapter 13
Zoe
When someone gasped and whispered if I was Zoe, my eyes closed. I only knew a few people in Jasper Lane, and all of them were tied to Zina. Only one was my old best friend from college, Jessica.
“Zoe?” I turned, and my eyes watered immediately at the sight of Monica, Zina’s friend. “Oh my God. It’s really you.”
I thought it would be awkward to see anyone from the past, but seeing her was a pleasant surprise. I immediately stepped into her waiting embrace.
“It’s so good to see you, Monica.”
“You too! You look just like your sister. Oh my God. Y’all have different eyes but damn. Look at you.”
She held me tighter, and I laughed and pushed back my tears. When she finally released me, she stared at me with tears in her eyes. I let her get her fill, because I knew seeing me was going to feel like seeing Zina for a lot of people.
“How have you been?” I asked as we stepped off to the side to avoid blocking the exit door.
I’d stopped by the mall to do a little shopping.
As good as things had been at Grounds and with Haji, thinking about baking had been heavy on my mind and heart.
When we talked about our passions, I didn’t have any.
Life wasn’t set up for me to have any. All I was focused on was working and surviving.
Now, it seemed like I had the space to do what I loved again, and I was nervous yet excited to see what it would lead to.
“I’ve been good. How about you? It’s been forever.”
“Same,” I settled on. She didn’t need to know I’d been drowning myself in work and a man I had no business being with. “Did you and Westin end up getting married?”
“We did actually,” she confirmed, lifting her hand so I could see her ring. “We had three children too.”
“Congratulations, Monica. That’s amazing.”
“Thank you! How about you? I don’t see a ring. Did you have any children?”
“Not yet. I don’t see myself having any. Not any time soon.”
“Aww, well if that’s what’s best for you, more power to you.”
We shared a soft laugh as I nodded. Hell, I felt like I’d stopped living. I needed to stop existing and live again before I considered getting married and especially before I considered having babies.
“Have you kept in touch with Jessica?” Monica continued, giving my arm a gentle squeeze.
“I haven’t. You?”
“We go to the same stylist, so I see her sometimes. She’s married, and they had their first son about six months ago. He’s such a cutie pie. You should reach out to her while you’re here.”
“That’s so great. Who did she marry? Anyone from back in the day?”
“Hmm, I think you may know him. If I’m not mistaken, she said they met in college. His name is Nathan.”
Clutching my heart, I swooned. “Yes. I know Nathan. He was always so good to and for her.”
“Bae, you good?”
We both looked back at the sound of a man’s voice. When Westin noticed me, his mouth dropped.
“Zoe?” I nodded as he made his way over to us. “Damn, girl. I feel like I’m looking at a ghost. Wassup with you?”
I laughed as he picked me up and gave me a tight hug.
“Hey, West. It’s good to see you, and I’m glad you’ve been taking care of my girl. You know Zina wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Oh trust me, I know. Monica told me if I ever tried to cheat on her, Zina would know and tell her.”
We all laughed, and that time, talking about my sister didn’t weigh me down.
It actually felt good as hell. We talked a little while longer before I insisted they go inside and continue on with their day.
Monica didn’t want to let me go, but I promised I’d reach out to her before I went back to Rose Valley Hills.
When I made it to my car, I looked Jessica up on Facebook.
Memories flooded my mind as I looked over her page.
Though it felt like my life had stopped, hers was flourishing.
She was married with a beautiful baby boy and living her best life.
I bit the bullet and sent her a message before leaving and heading to Haji’s place.
Even though I was still renting my room since I’d paid for it for the full six weeks, I found myself wanting to be with him at his home more.
I thought I was going to be surprising Haji with the LEGO sets I’d purchased him, but I was the one in for a surprise.
When I stepped into his kitchen and saw the Easy-Bake Oven with a bow on it, I dropped the bags and cried.
Instantly, my knees grew weak, and had he not been behind me to catch me, I would have dropped.
It took me a while to stop being a blubbering mess, but Haji was patient with me. His soft laughter turned into him holding and rocking me before I was finally strong enough to stand and wipe my tears.
“You got that for me?” I confirmed, pointing toward it while looking back at him.
“I did. I don’t have to ask if you like it,” Haji said through his smile.
“I love it, babe. Thank you. This is the most intentional and considerate gift anyone has gotten me. I love you so much!”
My arms slung around his neck, and Haji wasted no time pulling me close as he hummed. “I love you too. And I loved getting this for you. I’m going to keep spoiling you, helping you heal, and making you happy for as long as you’ll let me.”
His actions and declarations were making it harder for me to even consider leaving Jasper Lane and going back home to Rose Valley Hills, but I couldn’t worry about that now.
After washing my hands, I got busy with the Easy-Bake Oven.
Haji thought he’d be able to put his new LEGO sets together, but that would have to wait. For now, he’d have to bake with me.
The whole time we did, excitement surged through me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so happy and carefree. By the time we were done, we’d made pretzels and chocolate chip cookies. I was so happy I took pictures and posted them on my social media after sending them to my parents.
Mama cried.
“Taste it,” I said, putting the cookie up to Haji’s mouth.
He looked so unsure I had to keep myself from laughing. With all the trust he could muster, he opened his mouth and let me feed him the cookie.
“Hm. Not the worst thing I’ve ever eaten. I think all the love you put in it is what makes it taste good.”
“Sounds about right,” I agreed with a smile before blurting, “Can you do a grocery order?”
He pulled back a smile as he eyed me. “Forrr what?”
“Uh. I . . .” Squeezing my fingers, I pulled in a deep breath. “I think I want to bake. For real.”
A slow smile spread his lips before he left the kitchen and returned with his phone.
As I rattled off the ingredients I’d memorized by heart, that smile never left his face.
We chilled and watched TV while we waited for the grocery order to arrive.
This time, I needed to bake alone. Haji left me to my own devices after telling me he was proud of me.
While I let the bananas bake to ripen them, I wrestled with what I was about to do. What I was about to create. I talked to my sister for a moment until I felt like I had her strength. Then, I started.
The whole time I mixed and baked, I smiled and cried.
It felt like the purest form of healing being back in the kitchen.
Back at the stove. I played my jazz and lost myself in the ingredients, in the memories.
By the time the loaves were still warm enough to enjoy but cool enough to slice, I tasted both and sobbed.
They tasted just like they did the first time I made them.
The first time Zina helped perfect my recipe with her damn cinnamon.
After drying my eyes, I sliced Haji a piece of the regular banana bread and the one with chocolate chips.
I made my way into the living room, and at the sight of me with the plate, he tossed the book he was reading onto the couch and rubbed his hands together.
“You’re excited like you trust I know what I’m doing,” I teased.
“I know you do. Plus, it smells good as hell.”
I laughed as I sat next to him.
“Okay, so that’s regular banana bread, and that one has chocolate chips. Don’t lie if you don’t like them. Tell me the truth.”
“Yeah, yeah, aight,” he muttered, fingers dancing as he urged me to hand him the plate.
I watched him shove the whole piece of regular banana bread in his mouth. His eyes damn near rolled into the back of his head as he moaned and savored the taste.
“Well?”
Lifting his hand, he ate the other piece before finally saying, “Outside of your pussy, this is the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.
Mm!” Pride filled me as Haji pulled me onto his lap.
“Seriously, Zoe. This is the best bread I’ve ever had.
I’ve never been a fan of banana bread because it’s usually bland, but this is amazing.
It’s the perfect mix of sweet and . . . I don’t know.
Not spicy. Sultry. How can food be sultry? That’s the only way I can describe it.”
“That’s Zina.” My head bobbed as I held back happy tears. “Her and her cinnamon. When she tasted my recipe, she suggested I add a certain amount of cinnamon that makes it uniquely my own. Not so much that it’s spicy, but just enough to taste sultry, as you put it.”
“Wow. And to think, you’ve been depriving the world of this goodness for ten years.”
“Not purposefully,” I whined, playing with his beard.
“Very purposefully, but you were allowed to do that. And I hope now you’ll allow yourself to do what you love, even if it’s just to honor the person you love.”
“I will, thanks to you.”
“I don’t want to move you too fast, but is there anything I can say or do to convince you to make this for Grounds?”
“Hmm, I think something can be arranged,” I replied playfully.
“Good. Now . . .” Haji gently pushed me off him and back onto the couch. “I need some more of this bread. Excuse me.”
“GG!” I yelled through my laugh as he crept back to the kitchen like an old man.