Chapter 44
JULIET
When the sun comes up, my anxiety doesn’t dissipate.
The morning after a full-moon run means a wolf’s blood is up. What will Roderick do?
You’ve already seen him the morning after a full moon, and it was fine.
But he didn’t have a claim on me then.
Now that we’re together, he might think he has the right to do whatever he wants. Use me how he wants.
That’s what Cory thought.
Part of me wants to lock every entry into my house, keep the alarm on, and hide in a closet until tomorrow comes. Maybe by then, I’ll have more trust in the Pine Falls pack leader.
But I’m not so cowardly as all that.
Besides, staying here, waiting, is only making things worse. I need to release this excess energy in a productive way.
My wild gaze lands on a pair of tennis shoes by the front door.
Could I try again? Could I reclaim what once was mine?
Yes, I decide. He doesn’t get to keep this from me.
After pulling on a pair of fleece-lined leggings and a loose sweatshirt, I tie up my shoelaces and head out into the frigid morning.
At first, the chill sets off an ache in my bones.
But then I start running. Soon after I pass Hester’s house, my heart is pumping hard, and my pulse pushes warm blood through my veins.
My feet eat up the pavement, and I turn down the road to take me out of town rather than into it.
I can go as far as I want, fucker. Just try and stop me.
This distance and direction are better anyway. I don’t want to see people. Don’t want to be forced to interact with anyone.
What I need is freedom. To feel like my body is powerful.
Even when I know I could never be stronger than a werewolf.
After a couple of miles, my anxiety over the morning after the full moon has been shoved to the back of my mind. So much so that my stomach wakes up and starts complaining. If it wasn’t for the insistent hunger, I’d probably keep going.
Instead, I turn around and retrace my route.
When I jog down my street, I stumble over flat ground when I recognize a familiar bike in my driveway.
Turn around, the panicked part of my brain demands.
But I won’t. This is my house, and I refuse to retreat from it.
Just as I reach my front walk, a figure clomps down my front steps.
Roderick.
My entire body tenses, and even though I won’t run away, I find I can’t move forward either.
Not that I need to when the man is barreling toward me. A moment later, his arms are around my waist, and I’m lifted high. My hands grip his shoulders as he spins me, a deep chuckle spilling from his throat.
“Good morning,” Roderick says as he lets me slide back to the ground.
I expect him to kiss me then, some mouth-crushing assault that comes before he drags me inside to bend me over the closest surface and have his way.
Any other day, the idea would be a naughty fantasy come to life. But this morning, the image twists with my past in a way that has me forgetting where I am.
Which is why it takes me a moment to realize Roderick isn’t doing what I expected him to do. Instead, the werewolf drops his forehead, resting it against mine. His eyes close, and he breathes in deep.
Once. Twice. Three times.
“Wh-what are you doing?” I push the words out of my tight throat.
Roderick sucks in another deep breath, then raises his chin to press a firm kiss on each of my cheekbones.
“I wish you could run with me,” he responds, not answering my question.
But his comment rocks me, tightening my nerves. I don’t know how to feel about it.
“You wish I were a werewolf?” Because humans aren’t good enough?
Have we finally reached this point? Where my humanity makes me less than in his eyes?
But Roderick doesn’t affirm my assumption.
“I want you to feel the joy of the moon and the hunt.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, then traces his nose through my sweaty hair. “I wish I could share the night with you.”
Well, that’s … not too bad.
“Sometimes …” My voice sounds rickety, and I clear my throat. “Sometimes, I wish I were a wolf too.”
But not for the same reasons he just waxed poetic about.
The times I’ve wanted to be a werewolf were so I could have a fighting chance when facing off against another supernatural creature.
Roderick’s hands trace down my arms until he can tangle his fingers through mine. He brings my palms up to his mouth, kissing the center of each one, like my hands are precious to him.
“But then again, you’re perfect.” He moves my hands to the small of his back, encouraging me to hug him. “Better not change a thing.”
Without any more prompting, I tighten my hold, pressing myself close.
With each sweet gesture made and word spoken, Roderick unknowingly wipes away the fog of my anxiety. His honest, gentle affection soothes me in a way I never thought a man, much less a werewolf, would be able to manage.
He’s a butterfly, I remind myself. Not a yellow jacket.
Maybe one day, I’ll stop expecting a sting. One day, I won’t flinch anymore.
Time passes as the two of us stand in my front yard, wrapped around each other. This is not like other morning s following a full moon. This is simple happiness.
Then my stomach makes an extremely unattractive growl that would put any wolf to shame.
Roderick grins down at me. “You distracted me. I came over to invite you to breakfast.”
Again, more tension from my past eases. The man wants to feed me. He’s not here to demand a quick fuck and a meal I prepare for him.
Even though my whole body begs for food, the sweat drying on my skin makes me itch. “I need to take a shower first.”
“Mind if I join?”
Okay, maybe his mind isn’t completely removed from fucking.
What surprises me is that I want Roderick to come inside with me. To do all the things his eyes promise.
Maybe because I trust that if I deny him, he won’t push me.
“Please do,” I murmur. “But only if you can make this fast. I’m hungry.”
Twining our fingers together, I pull my werewolf into the house after me shivering at the sound of his easy chuckles. I’m the one in the lead. In control of this situation.
And when we strip naked and climb into my shower, he’s the one who gets on his knees. I’m the one who is worshipped with an eager tongue until an orgasm rolls through my body, easing more than just sexual tension from my muscles.
With my hand, I control his pleasure, massaging his member until he’s groaning my name as he thrusts out his own release.
Hot water rains down on us, and the droplets trailing over my body leave me feeling cleaner than usual.