Chapter 50 #2
“People hadn’t really expected Roderick to be the one to take the mantle if something happened to Dad. Everyone thought either Uncle Mason or Mom would be the next alpha. But magic just seems to choose whoever has the most potential.”
If that’s the case, I wonder what the magic saw in Mick for the Bear Valley pack. Maybe it just didn’t have many good options.
“That’s horrible.”
“Yeah, and it was only the first shitty domino to fall.” Tanya leans forward, bracing her elbows on her notes. “What did Roderick tell you about Monica?”
“Just that she couldn’t accept what he was.” And I didn’t push because I knew I didn’t have a right to when I kept all my secrets to myself.
Tanya snorts. “That’s an understatement.
Now, I found out about all of this from Courtney years later, but it’s not something she’d lie about.
See, Monica moved to Pine Falls when her dad decided he wanted to try life as a mountain man.
She was sixteen and beautiful and knew zip about werewolves.
Roderick fell for her, and they thought they’d spend the rest of their lives together.
Then Roderick became pack leader, and he decided he couldn’t hide what he was from her anymore.
So, he showed her.” The teenager grimaces, and I feel a sickness in my stomach.
I thought Roderick’s dislike of outsiders stemmed from something like a few strangers had graffitied Main Street or something. Nothing so personal. As I start to wonder if Tanya is the right person to divulge these details, she barrels on, clearly on a roll with her storytelling.
“Monica freaked out. Full-on panic attack. He called Courtney to come help calm her down, but the girl was a hysterical mess. Monica begged them to wake her up. To tell her the whole thing was a nightmare.” Tanya sneers, clearly disgusted by what happened.
“Apparently, she said some pretty shitty stuff about Roderick being a monster, which didn’t help when he was already devastated over Dad.
The only way they calmed her down was by assuring her they could make all of it disappear. ”
“Disappear?” That’s ominous, but I’ve seen Monica myself, unharmed.
The young wolf nods, leaning in close again, her voice going low.
“Just need to find the right witches. Some of them can remove memories.” She taps the side of her skull.
“For a price. Roderick and Courtney took Monica to see a witch, got the girl’s memory of the night wiped—with her enthusiastic consent.
She went back to believing werewolves were just fictional characters in stories. ”
“What about her and Roderick?” The question pops out before I can stop myself.
Tanya shrugs. “Done. He broke it off. He knew there was no future with her. Maybe if he was just another wolf in the pack, he could’ve pretended like he was human for her. But he’s our leader. That’s not a once-a-month gig.”
Angry suspicion drags a dark cloud over my mind. “And that’s when she shot him?”
“What?” Tanya gasps. “No!”
“You said he got shot, and then you told me about Monica! What am I supposed to think?”
The wolf snorts. “No. After Roderick ended things, she went off to college in some other state. Good riddance, I say. Even though it looked like he was the dumper, really, it was her. So, Roderick lost Dad and his girlfriend within a few weeks of each other. To say he was dealing with some shit would be an understatement. He’s one of those wolves that runs to clear his mind.
He was in the woods probably almost every day, losing himself in his animal for a few hours just to find some peace. That’s when he got shot.”
“By who?” Does the danger still exist? Is he at risk every full moon? Is someone hunting him right now? My fists clench at the thoughts.
But Tanya is relaxed as she eats her nachos, even as sadness sits in her eyes.
“Some hunters wanting a wolf pelt. They heard rumors there was a pack near our town. If anyone knew why they were visiting, we would have gotten them to leave before any damage was done. But they just seemed like two guys on a camping trip. So, one evening, they spotted Roderick. Luckily, the bullets went through his shoulder and side. He was able to get away before more damage was done. Doctor patched him up, and our new leader got the police to escort the assholes off our territory.”
“That’s … wow.” My head feels suddenly heavy with all this new knowledge. “That’s a lot.”
Roderick doesn’t have any scars. I’ve seen enough of his body to know. But he wouldn’t, would he? Werewolf blood would heal away the evidence of the horror he experienced. But that doesn’t mean the pain is gone too.
Like me, he has darkness in his past that colors the present moments.
“Yeah, a real trial-by-fire situation. But he made it through, and now we have a kick-ass pack leader.” She smirks. “Don’t tell him I said that. Need to keep my annoying-little-sister cred.”
I silently contemplate all that pain Roderick had to deal with when he was still basically a kid. My heart breaks for him, and I wish he were here so I could kiss him and tell him how strong and amazing I think he was.
But I wonder if I’m the one he really wants to hear those sentiments from.
“So, I guess Monica meant a lot to him. Must have hurt to see her at Thanksgiving.”
Tanya gives me a brow raise. “Hurt? More like annoyed the hell out of him that she tried to get him back.”
“What?” My voice is surprisingly low, and I didn’t know I could sound so menacing.
That woman was trying to steal my man?
“Sometimes, I forget your tiny human ears don’t hear too well.”
I reach up to the side of my head self-consciously. “My ears are the same size as yours.”
She waves the comment away and relates the conversation she overheard between Roderick and Monica. Maybe I should be more concerned with maintaining their privacy, but Roderick had to know other wolves would hear them. Plus, the scene she replays for me has my heart thundering.
“He turned her down?” I ask, just to be sure.
“Flat. He has it bad for you.” Tanya’s body takes on a sudden tension, and her voice loses its lighthearted flare. “I like you a lot. But I love my brother. So, you need to be serious about him, or you need to end things. He doesn’t deserve another heartbreak. He’s been through enough.”
My fists clench in sudden anger. But not at Tanya.
I’m pissed at myself.
Everything she just revealed gives me a clearer understanding to Roderick’s actions and insecurities. But even without this knowledge, I already knew he was a good man.
It’s me that’s full of doubt. Doubt about my instincts and my feelings. I’m terrified that I’ll fall into the same trap that I did with Cory.
Wanting to belong somewhere so badly that I ignore warning signs.
But Pine Falls doesn’t have warning signs. None other than the phantom ones I created based off my past experiences.
“You’re right.” I make sure to meet her eyes. “I’ll be honest and up front with him.” The sudden urge to cry makes the words thick in my throat.
“Good.” Tanya’s smile is soft this time. “I like having you around.”
And this is exactly where I want to be.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll call and make an appointment with Dr. Amy. Then Roderick will come to my house in the evening when he gets back from his trip. I don’t have the words yet. Haven’t figured out what exactly I want or need to say.
Hopefully, I can bring some sense to my raging emotions in the next twenty-four hours.