Chapter 14
Brittani
Iwalked out of my house the next day, bounding down the steps, only to stop at the bike parked in front of my path.
I crossed my arms, ready for this confrontation for days. He was the one that needed to grow the hell up and have it.
“Keith,” I said, stopping at the sidewalk to stare at him. “What are you doing here?”
He shook his hair out and I had to stop myself from fanning my face. It was not fair to me that he got to look incredibly sexy while being a dumb grump.
It just wasn’t.
And I really wanted to stomp my foot in annoyance over it.
“I think we need to talk?”
I snorted at that, my gaze frosty. Right now, he didn’t get the sunshine, and when Caleb gets in here in just a few hours, he’s going to hate that Keith took my sunshine. It’s the one thing Caleb loved about me.
Okay, there were plenty since he was my best friend, but that was the biggest thing.
“You know what, I don’t have time, Keith. I’ve been trying to talk to you for days and you wouldn’t. And now is not the best time for me.”
“You’re going to get him?”
“Get who?” I asked, lifting a brow at him.
“Your friend, or whoever he is?”
“And just how would you know about him? I haven’t mentioned him to anyone other than Kylie, and you weren’t in the shop, right?”
He scratched the back of his neck and while I wanted to be annoyed with Kylie for lying to me, she was covering for him, of that I had no doubt.
“I was there.”
“Oh my…Keith, you are by far, the biggest coward I know. You know what, let’s talk. Let me start by pointing out that between the two of us, I have the biggest balls, do you know that? You handled all of this like a little kid. Not like an adult.
“You’re the stupidest man I know, running when stuff gets too hard or scary. And that’s the other thing, you’re scared.
“You’re scared to fall in love, to find finding something new, to maybe see something different. You can’t blame your parents’ lifestyle for your problems for the rest of your life. That’s wrong with them and shows how immature you’re being.
“Did they show you improper things, sure. But they showed you what happiness truly looks like, even if it’s different.”
I sucked in a breath, his eyes wide as he stared at me.
Damn right that little miss sunshine can be a fiery bird too.
“I don’t know what you wanted by coming here.”
“I wanted to apologize, Brittani.”
“Not accepted this time, Keith. Whatever this is between us, I can’t do anymore.
I can’t keep playing the push and pull game with you.
In fact, I won’t. I’m an adult and I’m over kids’ games.
I should have seen that a mile ago, but I still went and fell.
Not your fault, all mine. And I’ll own it.
But if this is what you want, then forget it. ”
“It wasn’t all bad,” he said, making me roll my eyes.
Such a damn typical male thing to say.
“You’re right, it wasn’t all bad. The sex was so unbelievable and amazing. I will forever thank you for that. But that’s all it was, sex. Right? There wasn’t any more to it?”
I looked at him, looked at the look on his face, at the flashes of his emotions, of his being scared, and I knew his answer before it even came out.
“It’s all it can be, Brittani. Why can’t you see that? Look at you, look at what I’ve done to you. This anger isn’t you.”
“Oh, you can bet your ass it is, when it calls for it. But you know what, Keith? The words came out after sex, not because it was mind-blowing or because you put me in a tailspin, but because it was true. I do love you. But it’s not enough.
I will never be enough for you. Because you refuse to let yourself fall in love with anyone.
“Someday, someone is going to knock you upside the head with it, and you’ll find out what I mean. You’ll see how you can’t stop it, and part of you won’t want to, no matter how terrified it makes you.
“I had wished that person was me, but I don’t have the energy to do that with you, nor the time. Because that could take far longer than I’m willing to give you.
“And someday, she’s going to make everything perfect in your life and you won’t want to let her go. You will fight every mountain and every hell she will throw at you to keep her. And then, you’re going to rock her world with some of the best sex.
“But that’s not me. This,” I said, waving my hand between us, “it’s over. It has to be. I can’t risk any more of my heart to you. I refuse to.”
I walked over, my heart in my throat, and kissed his cheek.
“I know you’ll be safe getting back, and I’ll see you around. Hopefully before I leave.”
“Leave? Leave where? Where will you go? Why will you go?”
“There is no way I can stay here and watch you find someone to love, Keith. That would shatter me and the town does not need more grumps in it.”
“So, wait, you’ll just leave? But you love Storyville. You got the whole tattoo of it.”
“And it can be covered up. Or I can find another place to love like I did here. Maybe have the same views or something. It would be better for us both if I did that, I feel.”
I checked my phone.
“I need to go. Caleb will be here any moment.” With a wave, I walked over to my car and climbed in, letting out a breath I didn’t know I needed. That was the hardest thing I had to do.
Would I leave?
I wasn’t sure.
But it was possible.
I really did believe Keith would find someone, and while I hoped it had been me, it wasn’t. Because to prove to me that he wanted something real was going to take a lot more than some dumb sorry.
We’ve already done that and he did the same thing.
Nick waved as he drove away, having picked up my best friend and leaving him at the post office.
I parked my car and climbed out, smiling at him.
He ran over, picking me up in his arms and swung me around.
“I’ve missed you,” I told him, kissing his cheek. “Got an appointment already booked for your tattoo.”
“Who took the gleam out of your eye?”
I didn’t even have a moment to control that. Damnit, he saw far too much.
“It’s there.”
“Bullshit. You look like you’re about to cry. Who the hell did that? It better not be the guy working on my tattoo that you told me about or I’ll beat his ass down myself.”
God, I missed him.
And before I could even think, I had my arms around his waist and my face in his chest, crying over the one good man I wanted and worried I would never get.