Chapter 15
Keith
“Tell me,” Cassidy started, stirring way too much creamer in her coffee before looking at me, “what’s the deal with Brittani? You didn’t tell me what happened yesterday after you went to talk to her?”
“There is no deal. She called us off. Said she couldn’t keep doing the push and pull game and honestly, I can’t blame her.”
“Nor do I. Why wouldn’t you just admit that you need her? That you don’t just want a fling with her, but something real?”
“It’s not that easy, Cassidy,” I groaned, grabbing my own coffee and adding just a dash of creamer. Unlike her, I appreciated the flavor of coffee, and the additional flavor was for taste, not to drown it out.
“Bullshit, brother. Tell me why it can’t be that easy? What have you got to lose?”
“Our parents’ life taught me that true love isn’t real, or it doesn’t last!”
“Oh, Keith,” she muttered, putting her mug down to pull me in a hug. Which wasn’t easy when she was a good foot and a half shorter than me. “I think we need a heart to heart. I hadn’t realized that mom and dad’s relationship made you this way.”
“What are you talking about a heart to heart? I don’t need that.”
“Yes, you do. Because of seeing them, of how they chose to live, you’ve become jaded to love, to relationships, to something real.
You know, I asked mom once about what they did with their marriage.
Why stay married if they didn’t love each other.
She sat me down and had a very lengthy conversation.
“Now, I’ll spare you a lot of the more graphic details I was entrusted with and share just the most important. Mom and Dad are insanely in love, they always have been. They honestly cannot picture doing life with anyone else.”
“So, they damn open marriage?”
“Because it’s a kink they like. Just like domination, or breeding, or any number of kinks that spice up the sex life.
When I asked her about that, she said they grew stagnant in their sex life after I was born.
They didn’t regret us, but something just felt off.
One night, they went to a swinger’s party, not quite knowing what it was, and they both liked the idea.
“They laid down ground rules, though. They always came and left together. They found someone they could both agree with. And they were always in the room together. Not participating if they so choose, but it wasn’t as open as you think.
In fact, it’s more how they tend to share a partner rather than sleep alone with them.
And no, before you go thinking nasty, they didn’t sleep with their partner.
“Like if dad brought a lady in they both approved of mom wouldn’t go down on her.
” I visibly shivered at that, not wanting to think of my mom that way.
“But she might kiss, might fondle, that was it. Same with dad, might kiss a dude, but nothing more beyond that. It was seeking pleasure for the other.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Their relationship did leave me jaded, left me grumpy. Or, well helped anyways. There were other things that made me grumpy.
“Mom would have been so upset if she knew that her choices caused you to be alone, Keith. They found a way to make themselves happy, but they’re so in love and you can’t dispute that.”
“No, but I guess I just always thought it was because they wanted to stay together for us.”
“Why, especially now that we’re adults? Don’t you recall when they’re in a room together, how they still steal glances at each other, they still giggle or grin, they still flirt? They never stopped, just a found a way to adapt to enjoy other things.”
I dropped my head, my hand running over the back of my neck.
“Don’t lose this with Brittani.”
“Are you sure I can do this? I mean, really be in a relationship?”
“Keith, I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You’re a great find, you just need the right personality to blend with yours, and I’m pretty sure you found it. Come on, let’s go find her and I’ll make her listen to how stupid you’ve been and how you need her back.”
I couldn’t help but laugh because she was right. I was probably going to need a kick in the ass, and she would gladly do it.
I grabbed my keys, took my sister’s arm, and we hauled it to the truck, quickly starting it and headed to the bar in town, the only place that would even be suitable to take a friend too.
At least I was praying it was a friend and nothing more because I wasn’t sure I could make it in this town knowing she found someone.
So, yeah, her words came back to haunt me, and I could see why she would want to leave.
I parked and quickly got out, walking to the window to see her and the smile I had, died.
Because there, in a corner spot, was the woman I loved, her head on another man’s chest, and his arms around her.
My heart stuttered before it shattered.
I lost her.
That quickly.
Because I was an ass who couldn’t seem to do a damn thing right.
She deserved someone like him, not me. Not someone who would dim her sunshine. She needed someone who would make it flourish, not put it out.
“What is it?”
“I can’t watch this, Cassidy. She’s made her choice. She’s moved on. Obviously, she’s much closer to her friend than she led me to believe and she chose him. I refuse to be the man to kill her brightness because I’m too much of a grump.”
“Keith,” she told me, shaking me by my arms, “you are not the grump you think you are. Okay, you can be, but you’re not with her. I wish you could see what I’ve seen over the last few weeks.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you think Kylie called me? Because she saw her cousin in a different light and she kept sharing it with me. My word, brother, you smiled more than I have ever seen you smile. You think you’re killing her brightness, you’re not.
She’s making you far more alive than you ever have been.
And don’t you dare let her through your fingers. ”
She turned, looking through the window and her demeanor shifted.
“She is not fucking dating Caleb, I can you tell that, right now.”
“How do you know him?”
“Of all the fucking towns he has friends in, it’s this one. The one my brother lives in. Just fuck my life. Look, I can’t deal with that asshole, but you can go fight for your woman or I’m telling mom all the shit we talked about, and you can deal with her.”
I paused, looking at my sister with a raised brow. Something was going on and I was going to figure it out.
“How do you know him?” I repeated.
“He lives in Bearhug Valley, Alaska. You know, the town I live in and always try to get you to come visit. Yeah, I know Caleb. Now,” she said, shoving me, “go fight or mom will be on the next flight out.”
“God, you’re mean.”
But I squared my shoulders, not because of the threat. Okay, not all because of the threat, I didn’t need to hear from my mom. Because Cassidy was right. I needed to fight for my woman.
I needed to show her I was all in.
I needed to show her my heart.
I needed to show her we were perfect.
Or die trying.