22. Chapter Twenty-Two
Everything hurts.
I’m desperate to open my eyes, but I can’t do it.
“You should go home and rest.” Savanna?
There’s a grunt in response, but nothing else and I can’t figure out who else it could be. I can’t even remember what happened, or where I am, and I just want to open my eyes so I can figure it the hell out. Why can’t I move?
My head is aching and there’s a pain piercing through to the back of my neck. I can’t even make a sound to let anyone know I’m awake and aware of everything around me.
“I’ll tell her you were here when she wakes up. At least go get some food from the cafeteria.”
Whoever Savanna is trying to convince to leave the room is definitely not having it. A warmth spreads through me when a hand comes down on my arm, squeezing gently, and I let myself fall into the feeling. Maybe I just need a little more sleep, then I’ll be able to open my eyes.
A bright light shines into my eyes when I finally manage to get them open and I squint against the ferocity of it. I try to sit up, but my leg is being held up by something and I can’t move.
I groan in response and the bed I’m lying on dips low as someone leans over the bed.
My eyes cut along the white walls and I note the machine standing next to the bed with my heart rate on it. You’re in the hospital, Autumn.
The hospital? I shake my head, but it only makes the pain in my neck worse and I suck in a sharp breath.
“Easy, Red,” the voice says beside me and I snap my attention to it, my gaze colliding with Easton’s as he stares intently at me. “Take it easy, I’ll get the doctor.”
“Doctor?” I ask, although my throat is feeling dry.
He grabs a small cup from a table and hands it to me with a small smile. “You don’t remember anything?”
I’m trying to wrack my brain for any information I’m missing, but the only thing I remember is turning onto an exit ramp before everything goes dark. Why am I in the hospital?
Easton waits until I’m handing him the cup back then quickly heads out of the room before coming back with an older man in tow. The older guy gives me a smile and nods at me. “Autumn, it’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling? Any pain?”
“Uh,” I say, clearing my throat. “My head hurts.”
He nods. “That’s to be expected; you took a rough hit.” His fingers trail over the leg that’s hanging in the air and I wince from the contact. “Leg hurting?”
I nod.
“What’s the pain like on a scale from one to ten?”
His question forces me to think which only causes my head to hurt slightly more and I squeeze my eyes shut. “Seven?”
“I’ll order you some pain medicine and it should help you out. Do you know why you’re here?”
I shake my head and frown. “No. Do you mind telling me?”
“You were in a car accident, Autumn,” Easton answers for the doctor, who narrows his eyes at him, but Easton chooses to ignore the look. “Scared us something fierce.”
“Where’s Savanna? I heard her voice earlier.”
Easton smiles. “She’ll be back up soon. She went down to the cafeteria for some food.” He falls back into the chair next to my bed and grabs hold of my hand, brushing his lips gently over my skin. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
The doctor clears his throat, gaining both our attention, and nods. “Is there anything you need right now, Autumn?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”
“Very well. I’ll have the nurse bring your pain medicine to you shortly. Please rest as much as you need to in the meantime, okay?” He doesn’t say anything else before backing out of the room and heading down the hall, and I sigh dramatically before letting my head fall against the fluffy pillow.
“How long have I been here?”
Easton sighs. “A few days. I stopped keeping track after the first day.”
“Where’s Bethany?”
“She’s been staying with my mom.”
I nod slowly and side-eye him. “Does she know what happened?”
He nods with a frown. “She’s been asking to come see you, but I didn’t want her to see you like this just yet.”
That’s understandable. “Are you okay?”
Easton chuckles and shakes his head, amusement shining in his eyes. “You’re the one who got into an accident and you’re asking if I’m okay?”
I shrug. “I know how something like this would be making you feel, so I’m just checking.”
“It’s been tough,” he says. “But I’ve also been doing very well with therapy and I’m trying not to let that fear take over again.”
What does that mean?
I honestly don’t have the brain capacity to worry about that right now.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Easton asks with a frown on his face. “You just left without saying goodbye?”
“I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it if you tried asking me to stay, but I also couldn’t be around you without hurting. I just wanted the pain to go away.” It’s the most honest I’ve been with him about things and it’s all I’m going to give him right now. The last thing I want to do is talk about why I left in the first place.
He nods in understanding and lets his head fall. A soft knock on the door frame catches our attention and I smile at my best friend standing a few feet away. “Sav.”
She sucks in a breath, then hurries over to me and wraps her arms around my back before pulling away with tears shining in her eyes. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
I chuckle. “I’ll try.”
Easton clears his throat beside us and stands up. “I’ll give you guys a few minutes. I should probably call Bethany and let her know you’re awake.” He glances at me briefly, studying me to make sure I’m really okay, then walks slowly out of the room without another word.
Savanna sighs and smirks. “I thought he’d never leave. He’s been next to you the entire time, holding your hand and everything. He wouldn’t leave until you woke up, so maybe he’ll finally go home and get that shower he’s in desperate need of.”
“Is he really okay?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know, honestly. He’s been telling me he is, but I can’t tell if I should believe him or not. I’m sure there’s a million things running through his mind, though.”
I nod and close my eyes for a second before opening them back up. “How bad was the accident?”
I’m trying to remember what happened, but everything is still blank. The doctor didn’t tell me if that was normal, but hopefully I’ll get bits and pieces of memory back as time goes on.
Savanna shakes her head. “It was bad, Autumn. I was terrified as soon as I saw your car on the news, then I got a call from the hospital that you were in surgery and I’ve been here ever since.”
Another knock sounds on the door, interrupting our conversation, and a nurse makes her way inside. “I’ve got your pain meds,” she says softly. “Are you having any other pain?” While I shake my head and she fiddles with the blood pressure cuff, I swallow down the pain pills she drops into my hand.
It’s silent for a few minutes while she gets my stats, then she’s gathering her things and giving me a nod before leaving the room.
Easton comes back into the room and gives Savanna a look that makes her rise from the chair and she gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m going to head home, but I’ll come back in a little while to talk some more. I love you and I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“Me too,” I whisper, then watch as she disappears around the corner while Easton sits in the chair next to me. “Shouldn’t you be going home?”
He sighs. “I’m not sure I can do that just yet.”
“Is everything okay?”
“There’s something I should tell you.” Something about the waver in his voice puts me on high alert and I raise a brow in response. He clears his throat and says, “I just hate that your accident is the reason I’m telling you.”
“Well, what is it?” He’s scaring me, but I’m not about to admit that right now.
“I’ve been spending a lot of time with my therapist, talking about my feelings and how to be more forthcoming with them,” he says as he places his palm over mine. “And I feel like there’s something you should know after all that’s happened.”
“Okay.”
He takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes. “I love you, Autumn.”
“W-what?” Maybe the pain medicine is getting to my head because there’s no way I heard that right.
Easton runs a hand through his hair nervously. “It’s true. I’ve fallen in love with you.” There’s more to his feelings than that though; I can tell by the hurt swimming in his gaze as he stares at me. “But,” he says and my heart deflates like a balloon.
There it is.
“I don’t know if love is enough to shake away my fear.”
Should I even be worrying about this right now? Why would he think telling me he loves me while I’m not even able to move was a good idea? It’s infuriating. “Okay.” There’s a bite to my tone that he notices because he flinches in response, but it doesn’t force him to remove his hand from mine.
I wish he would.
When I saw him sitting here next to me, I thought it was because he’d finally come to his senses. Does it suck that an accident would do that? Sure, but the idea of him coming around to the idea of us was nice.
Until it wasn’t anymore.
Easton clears his throat and lifts his hand from mine. “I don’t know if I can bring myself to go through this hurt again, but it’s something I’m still working on. I’m trying, Red, because I want to be with you.” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m just not ready yet.”
So this man decides to tell me he loves me, then in the same breath says we can’t be together because of his fear?
Basically nothing has changed and I’m sure it didn’t help that I went and got into a damn accident.
“I’m getting tired,” I mumble before turning my head away from him, not wanting to look at him any longer. Who does this kind of thing?
It’s ridiculous.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll let you rest.” I keep my gaze pointed away, even as he rises from the chair and makes his way toward the open door. “I’m sorry, Autumn.” A tear slides down my cheek and I blink the rest away, desperate not to let the sadness take over.
I have more important things to worry about and Easton Gentry isn’t going to be one of them.
My eyes droop shut, the sound of the machine coaxing me to sleep, and I let it take over. Maybe when I wake up everything that just happened will be a terrible nightmare.
Yeah, right.
One could hope.