Chapter Twenty-Four
Kenyon
The families on the beach ran around, playing, laughing, oblivious to the world around them. There was something nice about that, wasn’t there?
It was pleasant, nice in a way few things in my life were.
One family drew my attention back time and again.
They had a large blanket set out, with heavy items placed at each corner to keep it from blowing away.
A mother, a father and three children. The two boys were older, probably in grade school, and the third was a toddler girl, given the swimsuit she wore with ruffles on the butt.
The mom doted on her, giving her pieces of cut-up fruit.
It was a damn cute sight, spawning a yearning in me for something I couldn’t have.
One of the things about espers was that we were always sterile.
Guides could still have children, but not espers, because of the corruption.
It meant that no matter how much I wanted that picture in front of me, I couldn’t have it.
No matter how I felt about it, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do.
I’d had to give up that future when I became an esper, one future dissolving and another appearing.
The door groaned, causing me to turn. There, in the open french doors, stood Yun.
She was really damn pretty. Her dark hair was braided back in two sections, making her look younger. It barely went past the nape of her neck, with two small fluffs of hair at the ends—fucking adorable. She wore black slacks and a white T-shirt, something similar to what she’d worn each day before.
Carter had mentioned that she hadn’t brought’ much with her, and while her clothing was always clean, it was pretty clear that she didn’t have many options.
She looked nice, of course, but I was used to girls with a million different outfits, who never looked similar two days in a row.
It was a far cry from this girl, who wore slight variations of the same basic outfit day after day.
It was all usable, practical, and she looked nice enough, but that didn’t stop me from worrying.
My sisters always had a closet full of clothing, half of which they never even wore. I didn’t care if Yun didn’t much care for fashion, I just hated the idea that she wore that because she didn’t have other options. Still, I doubted she was about to let us take her shopping.
“Hey,” I said, trying to tempt her out. Sure, this might not have been my family on the beach moment, but I’d take what I could get.
She stepped out and closed the door behind her. She said nothing at first, moving her weight from foot to foot.
Was she nervous?
She was flighty enough around us—I wouldn’t doubt that she’d be a bit uneasy. Still, I got the sense she wanted to say something’.
“Just say it,” I said, offering her up a friendly smile. At her glare, I shrugged. “I can tell you want to say something, so you might as well just say it. No reason to drive yourself crazy thinking about it.”
“And here I thought you were dumb.”
“Well, I’m not that smart, but it means I’m better at reading people. Also, I can wait as long as you can.”
She blew out a long breath before her shoulders slumped. “I need to go to the store. I’d just go by myself, but Carter said I’m supposed to go with someone when I leave.”
Boy, did she show she didn’t like the idea of giving in to that, right? She hated having to listen to us, having to ask me for anything.
“If you’re busy, that’s okay. I can wait.”
How quickly she backpedaled. Was she that worried about being a problem?
How can she be this adorable?
“Busy? Not a bit. A trip to the store sounds great.” I got up, groaning a bit as my joints protested how long I’d sat on the hard step.
We took the truck, which I preferred over the other vehicles. I wasn’t a huge fan of fast cars and preferred to drive things that were big and safe—especially when it came to driving Yun around.
“Do you like watching the ocean?”
Yun’s question caught me off guard. She normally didn’t ask anything about us, as though she didn’t want to get drawn in any deeper than she already was. The fact that she asked me anything was a good sign, right?
“Not especially,” I answered. “In fact, I didn’t really want to move here.”
“It’s such a nice place.”
“Yeah, that’s what Carter and Ingram thought.
I think Ingram kept saying that we’d get plenty of girls if we stayed here, and Carter said the property would only go up in value.
” I thought back to those days, when we’d still been new and fresh and full of hope.
“We spent about our first whole year of pay on this place. We lived off ramen most nights just to save up. Plus, we agreed to do some marketing work for the owner when we bought it.” I shuddered at the photo sessions we’d done for his beachside restaurant, since back then we’d been worth big money.
“I don’t like the ocean, actually. I grew up in a big family out in Norco—all horse and cow property there.
We didn’t really get to the ocean much, so I never learned to swim. The water freaks me out.”
She lifted an eyebrow as though she struggled to believe it. “You can’t swim? Really?”
“What? You think us espers are perfect?” The word weighed heavily on me.
Perfect.
I’d heard that so often, even before I’d become an esper. This drive to prove myself, to somehow be more than everyone else. My size, my looks, it had all made people expect certain things from me.
And I never did live up to them…
“Perfect?” She snorted.
I’d wanted her to understand that espers were held to too high a standard, that people expected too much from us, but her tone made it clear she didn’t expect much of anything from us.
I found it equal parts annoying and refreshing to have her think so little of espers.
“You really don’t like espers, do you?”
She didn’t answer right away. Was she turning the question over in her head? Coming up with an answer? She didn’t seem like the type to just say the first thing that came to mind, which I respected.
“It’s not that I don’t like them,” she said.
“You sure about that? Because the whole no touching and that snort makes me think you’re not a fan.”
“What are espers for?”
I furrowed my brows, unsure of an answer.
She must have taken pity on me because she went on. “Espers have a point, right? It’s to help people, to save the day. They’re given such amazing gifts.”
I nodded, following along. “Sure, I get that.”
“What are guides for?”
That answer was an obvious enough one for me, but even I knew I shouldn’t say it.
Guides were the salvation of espers. They offered us a future we wouldn’t have without them. The end of every esper was corruption unless a guide saved them. They were the most important thing in the world for us, the light in a very dark world.
“Guides are everything,” I said, even if that didn’t come anywhere close to the full truth, even if it fell short.
She shook her head. “No. Guides exist only for espers. Without them, we have no use. Do you know why I needed this squad? Because if I got removed from another squad, the Guild wouldn’t assign me again. Do you have any idea what happens to a guide who the Guild won’t assign?”
I didn’t answer because I had no idea. I’d never heard of such a thing.
“Exactly. Guides aren’t given the documentation to get a regular job.
They can’t go out and get a place of their own, can’t get loans.
We are totally dependent on the Guild and on squads.
If I don’t make this work, I have nowhere to go, nothing I can do.
So, yeah, maybe it isn’t fair for me to dislike espers so much, but whether you had a say in it, whether you like it, you represent the boot on top of me. ”
I frowned, my attention back on the road as we drove, her words swirling around in my head. I didn’t like them, but I also had no idea what else to say, how to deny them.
It forced me to think about the world—and her place in it—in a different way that I didn’t much care for.