Chapter 21
Chapter twenty-one
The doorbell went off and I sprinted across the apartment, hitting my toe on the coffee table on the way. Hopping on one leg, I lunged for the door, pulling it open. And was greeted with my favorite sight: my two girls, big grins on their faces.
“Momma,” they yelled in unison and threw themselves at me.
I dropped to my knees in front of them, and they pushed me over and onto my back. I rained kisses on their cheeks and heads. “I missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re back.”
Once they were satisfied I’d missed them enough, they moved on to greet Orange, who had joined us at the door.
He was cautious around Cockalorum, since he’d kicked him once when he was a puppy.
And he’d never forgotten. But as soon as the girls hugged him, he became more animated, licking them and wagging his tail.
I pulled myself back up from the ground and straightened my clothes.
Usually on days when I didn’t have any plans, I’d be wearing leggings and a T-shirt.
But since I knew Cockalorum was coming over to drop off the kids, I couldn’t help putting on jeans and a blouse.
I’d even dabbed a little makeup on (I still had some shits left to give, after all).
“How was your trip?”
Cockalorum took my apartment in with a raised brow and then pasted a fake smile on his face when he turned his attention to me. “We had a great time. The girls didn’t want to leave.”
Well, now he was putting it on a bit thick. When I talked to them yesterday, they couldn’t wait to get home. Apparently, shopping almost every day does get old eventually.
“We talked about your current living situation, and the girls expressed their displeasure at having to share a room. And I agree.”
Where was this going? Because with Cockalorum, it was always going somewhere. “As you know, I don’t earn enough to keep the house. And this is all that I could afford.”
“Then you’ll be relieved to hear that I want to change the custody agreement.”
I jolted as if I’d touched an electric fence, all my hair standing on end. “What do you mean?”
“Tammy likes being a mother. So we’ll give it a go.”
“You’ll give what a go?”
“Having the kids, of course.” He looked at me as if I was the daft one in this conversation. “You can have them on the weekends. But not all of them since we stay at the house in Steamboat Springs every other weekend.”
Since when did he have a house in Steamboat Springs? What was happening right now?
I shook my hands and rolled my shoulders as if I was getting ready for a boxing match. Which I might be if he didn’t stop talking. “No. Absolutely not. I have full custody and no intention of changing that.”
“You only have full custody because I agreed to it. You know as well as I do that you don’t have any say in this situation.”
“You can’t do this. What if you decide that you don’t want them in a few weeks? Or months? What then?”
“Then you can have them back.” He glanced at his Patek Phillipe watch. “I’m late for brunch at the golf course.”
And he left without saying goodbye to his kids or me.
I stood in the doorway, staring at the now-empty hallway, struggling to take a breath.
“I’m hungry.”
I looked down at Elana, my hand automatically brushing over her head.
There was no way I could separate the girls.
But I also couldn’t keep Elana and give up Addy.
I was caught in the middle, and I had no idea what to do.
The smart thing would be to call Vance. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it just yet.
He was coming over tonight. I would talk to him then.
Addy let out a frustrated shriek. “Where are my pink pants with the elephants?”
I closed the door and took Elana’s hand. “Let’s go see if we can help your sister before she pulls all her clothes out of the closet.”
My eldest was already halfway through her closet by the time we arrived. Since the room was so small, the floor was covered in clothes. Before she grabbed anything else, I quickly pulled out the pants she was looking for.
She ripped off her sparkly dress that I’d just noticed for the first time and pulled on her pants, then a black T-shirt with a sunflower on the front.
“Did your dad buy you a new dress?”’
Addy glanced at me, then looked down, twisting her hands in her top. “Tammy bought us dresses. And they’re all itchy. But she took away our other clothes, so we had to wear them.”
I ground my teeth together. “Did you tell her you didn’t like the dresses?”
She shook her head, not a hair on her head moving due to her tight braid. She usually liked it in a ponytail and couldn’t sit still enough for a braid.
I undid her hair, clenching my teeth to stop myself from saying something I’d regret later. Elana followed her sister’s example and attempted to get out of her dress. But it was too tight and she ended up stuck inside, her arms up, her head buried under tulle. “Help. Help. Help. Help.”
I reached over and pulled the dress back down. “Hang on, pumpkin pants.”
After undoing the zipper, it fell to the floor. Addy seized the opportunity to race around the room in her undies. Once I’d convinced her to put clothes on, we went to the park.
I was still struggling to come to terms with Cockalorum changing his mind and wanting full custody. But I would speak to Vance tonight when he came over. If there was anyone who could help me keep my girls, it would be him.
“My mouth is untasted,” Elana grumbled, her big, beautiful eyes blinking up at me. It was her way of saying she was hungry. I couldn’t get myself to correct her since it was something she’d said for so long, it was her thing.
“Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. You think your mouth can hold out for that long?”
She pursed her lips. “Only if it can taste a snack before then.”
I handed her a carrot. “Here you go.”
She glared at the vegetable, then turned, whipping her head to the side so her hair flew up, and disappeared back into her and Addy’s room.
I pulled the lasagna out of the oven, checking my phone for the millionth time today. I hadn’t heard from Vance since this morning. He hadn’t answered the text I’d sent him, asking if he liked lasagna for dinner.
A knock on the door stopped my thoughts. When I saw Vance on the other side, a smile spread over my face and I pulled the door open. “Hey.”
He didn’t come inside; instead, he stood in the doorway, his mouth set in a straight line, his full focus on me.
“I received an interesting phone call this afternoon. Your ex wants full custody. But that wasn’t what was surprising.
What caught me completely off guard was the information that Addy isn’t yours. ”
I didn’t want people to think I wasn’t Addy’s mom. Because she was as much a part of me as Elana was, so I simply never told anyone, not even my friends.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.
“Addy isn’t biologically mine. Hank got someone pregnant a couple of months before we met.
She didn’t want a child and was happy for Hank to take the baby as soon as she’d given birth.
I was already dating him at the time and agreed to raise Addy as well.
His actions made it seem like he was a great guy, and that’s who I fell for.
But it was probably the only decent thing he did during our time together. ”
I’d loved Addy from the moment Hank had brought her back from the hospital, wrapped up in a pink blanket and screaming her little head off.
There’d been no doubt in my mind that I would do anything for her.
I’d been in my last year of college, and when Hank asked me to drop out so I could take care of her, I agreed immediately.
I’d been so excited to get the family I’d been dreaming of since I was a little girl that I went full speed, without checking the blind spots. And now they’d made me crash and burn.
His eyes were nearly black. “You don’t think this would have been something you should have mentioned to me?”
I hadn’t seen his expressionless mask since those first few meetings. But it was firmly back in place now.
“She’s my daughter. That’s all that matters.”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw. “No wonder you didn’t fight your ex on anything. It all makes so much more sense now. I wish you’d trusted me enough to tell me.”
The distance he’d put between us was like a physical blow. “I’m sorry for not telling you. But it’s not like there’s anything you could have done. I should have adopted Addy right away, but Hank kept putting me off, and I stupidly thought there was no rush.”
Vance’s breath came out in a slow, controlled blow.
“You can’t turn back time, but you could have still worked out more in the divorce while still keeping the kids.
You’re living in a tiny, unsafe apartment with two kids while he’s living it up in his penthouse in Denver with the woman he cheated on you with. ”
Well, when you put it that way…
“I get your point. I do. But what’s done is done, right?”
He gave me a jerky nod. “Is there anything else I should know?”
I ached to take his hand. To hug him. But the physical distance he’d created between us was only made worse by his emotional detachment. A touch wouldn’t be welcome.
You’ve really done it now, Mae. I should have called him as soon as Cockalorum left.
Studying the floor, I swallowed the pain, the disappointment, and the devastation. “That’s it. There’s nothing else.”
“I’m going back to the office to work out a strategy. Do not talk to him without me there.” He waited for me to nod. “I won’t let him take the girls away from you.”
He stood still for a moment, his eyes roaming my face. I didn’t like the hurt I saw and bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything else that would make this worse. He eventually turned and left, his steps slow, his hands fisted at his sides.
I didn’t move for a long time.
I might be about to lose everything.