Chapter 27
SEBASTIAN
Isat in my bungalow for maybe ten minutes after Bernadette left, staring at the ceiling and feeling like I’d just been punched in the chest.
Something had shifted tonight. I’d felt it in the way she’d touched me. The way she looked at me. I had no doubt in my mind she had been more honest with me in those minutes I was buried inside her than she ever had with anyone else.
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but when she made a noise that was just a little loud, I saw the panic. And then I kissed her.
I needed her to know she could say and do anything. I wanted her in the moment with zero filters. I didn’t want her to hold back. And she didn’t.
I smiled as I replayed her yelling my name. I didn’t think she even realized how loud she had been. Good. I was glad she felt like she could be the little vixen she was at heart. It told me there was a chance.
But then she’d pulled away, shut down, and run. And I had no idea what to do about it.
I couldn’t sleep. I should be able to, given the fabulous orgasm I just had. But I couldn’t sit still. My body was restless, my mind racing, and I was starving. I had worked up an appetite.
Craft services had a tent at the resort that was always accessible. Everyone kept their own hours. I wasn’t going to deny anyone a midnight snack. And I suspected some of the models ate when no one was looking. Like the calories didn’t count if there weren’t any witnesses.
With a crew this size, late-night cravings, anxious producers, and models with insomnia were to be expected.
I walked through the quiet resort, the path lit only by solar lights and moonlight.
Most of the crew had gone to bed hours ago.
The only sounds were the ocean and the night birds.
The tent was mostly dark when I approached, but I could see a faint light inside.
Someone had beaten me to the midnight snack run.
I walked through the tent flap and stepped inside, then stopped short.
Elizabeth sat at one of the small tables, illuminated by a battery-powered lantern.
And she was eating pickles? And ice cream?
She’d made a bowl of vanilla ice cream and was methodically dipping pickle spears into it before eating them.
“Oh my God,” I said.
She looked up, eyes wide, a pickle-ice-cream combo halfway to her mouth. “Sebastian. What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here? Is that pickles and ice cream?”
“No.” She took a defiant bite. “Maybe. Mind your own business.”
I stared at her. At the pickles. At the ice cream. At the way she was absolutely demolishing this bizarre combination like it was the best thing she’d ever tasted. The pieces clicked into place.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. “Are you pregnant?”
Elizabeth’s face went through several emotions. Panic, defiance, and ultimately resignation. Then she pointed the pickle spear at me threateningly.
“Shut your damn mouth. I haven’t told Adrian yet.”
“You’re pregnant!” I forgot about Bernadette and my own problems. I forgot about everything except the fact that my brother was going to be a dad. Shit, I was going to be an uncle. “Elizabeth, that’s amazing!”
I crossed to her in three strides and pulled her into a hug, careful not to squish her or the mysterious life growing inside her.
“Congratulations,” I said into her hair. “This is incredible.”
She hugged me back, and I felt her relax slightly. “You can’t tell anyone. Especially not Adrian. I want to tell him myself.”
“My lips are sealed.” I pulled back, grinning like an idiot. “But holy shit. A baby. A little Blackwell.”
She laughed. “Let’s hope it takes after my size and not one of you giants.”
“I’m going to be the fun uncle.” My mind was already racing ahead. “I’m going to spoil this kid so much. Designer onesies from day one. This is going to be the best-dressed child in history.”
Elizabeth laughed, her eyes getting a little misty. “You’re going to be a great uncle.”
“Damn right I am.” I sat down across from her, still grinning. “When are you telling Adrian?”
“When he gets here in two days. I wanted to tell him in person, not over the phone.” She took another pickle-ice-cream bite. “So you have to keep this a secret until then. Can you do that?”
“Of course. Scout’s honor.”
“You were never a scout.”
“Fine. Blackwell’s honor. Which is basically the same thing.” I reached over and stole one of her pickles, earning a glare. “How are you feeling? Morning sickness? Cravings, obviously. Should you be here? Is it safe to fly?”
I suddenly felt responsible for her. She was here for me. And Adrian didn’t know. When he found out, I knew he was going to be freaking out as well. He was going to be pissed at me if she got so much as a hangnail.
“The morning sickness was terrible the first few weeks, but it’s getting better. And yes, the cravings are weird. I wanted to hate this combination but it’s so good right now. I used to think people that ate this were crazy, but oh my God. I so need it. The craving woke me up. How crazy is that?”
“That’s disgusting.”
“You’re disgusting.” But she was smiling.
I watched Elizabeth eating her bizarre snack and tried to process the fact that I was going to be an uncle. The family was growing. Dad would have been so happy about this.
“So,” Elizabeth said, licking ice cream off her spoon. “What brings you to the munchie tent so late, my snack buddy? Stress eating again?”
And just like that, my good mood evaporated. “Maybe.”
I got up and went to see what I could find.
“Bernadette?” she asked.
I turned around, a donut in hand. “How did you know?”
“Please. Everyone knows something’s going on between you two. The way you look at each other isn’t exactly subtle.” She set down her spoon. “What happened?”
“I don’t know.” I grabbed a carton of milk and took my donut back to the table. “We slept together again tonight. And it was… it was perfect. But then she panicked and ran off, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you want to keep seeing her?”
“Yes. Obviously. But it’s complicated.”
“Why?”
“Because we live in different worlds and this whole thing started as a disaster and I don’t know how we got here but I’m in so deep I can’t see the surface anymore. She’s never going to see beyond the exterior.”
“Oh, poor super model.” She fake pouted. “Sebastian is so hot all the girls fall at his feet.”
“Yes. Exactly. I don’t want her to think I’m just a pretty face.”
“Convince her you’re not,” she said.
“How?”
She shrugged. “I can’t tell you that. You have to figure out how to get her to see you.”
“I don’t know,” I groaned. “Do I really have to work that hard?”
“Oh man, you have no idea how hard I made Adrian work. If she’s worth it, you’ll do backflips naked over hot coals if she asks you to.”
I chuckled. “That’s an interesting visual.”
“You’re in love with her.”
I started to deny it, then stopped. “Fuck. Yeah. I think I am.”
“You think?”
“I know. I know I am.” Saying it out loud felt terrifying and liberating at the same time. “I’m in love with her. Buzzkill Bernadette. The insurance robot. The woman who made my life hell. I’m completely gone for her and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Have you told her?”
“No! Are you insane? I can’t just blurt that out. I don’t do this, Lizzie. I don’t fall in love. I don’t have feelings. I have fun. I keep things light. I don’t know how to do the whole vulnerable honesty thing.”
“Then you’re going to lose her.” Elizabeth’s voice was gentle but firm. “Because from what I’ve seen, Bernadette isn’t the kind of woman who does casual. She needs to know where she stands. What this means to you.”
“What if I tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way?”
“What if you don’t tell her and you lose her anyway?” She got up and went to the small pantry area. I popped the last bit of my donut into my mouth and followed her to see what else I could find.
Elizabeth opened a bag of Doritos, went to the small fridge, and grabbed one of the ranch cups.
“Have you been sneaking in here every night?” I asked.
She winced. “I know. I’m so bad, but the snacks are endless and I can’t resist.”
“I’ve known her for less than a week,” I said, switching back to my troubles.
“Adrian and I fell in love in about two weeks.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Because you guys make sense. You’re both serious, responsible, mature adults. Bernadette and I are a disaster waiting to happen. Okay, she’s not the disaster—I am.”
“Or you’re two people who balance each other out. You make her lighter. She makes you more grounded. That’s not a disaster. That’s a partnership.”
I shoved chips in my mouth. “She’s scared. I can tell. She keeps pulling away, putting up walls. Like she’s already convinced this can’t work.”
“Then you need to convince her it can. Tell her how you feel. Be honest. Let her see the real you, not the charming playboy who keeps everyone at arm’s length.”
“That’s crazy talk.” I grabbed more chips. “Feelings are not my thing.”
“Because they’re scary?” Elizabeth supplied. “They make you vulnerable? They’re terrifying?”
“All of the above.”
“Welcome to being in love.” She smiled sympathetically. “It doesn’t get less scary. But it gets worth it. If you let it.”
I sat back down, the bag of chips almost empty and I was still feeling peckish. I was insatiable. “What if I screw it up? I screw everything up eventually.”
“You haven’t screwed up this shoot. You’re doing better than anyone expected, Sebastian.
Give yourself some credit.” She reached across the table and squeezed my hand.
“And give Bernadette the chance to see what I see. What Adrian sees. What even Briggs sees, even though he’d never admit it. You’re more than you think you are.”
My throat felt tight. “Have you always been so wise?”
“Pregnancy hormones. Makes you very insightful and maternal. Also very weepy and obsessed with pickles.” She pulled her hand back and looked around the tent like a predator hunting its next victim. “Talk to her tomorrow. After the Venus shoot. Tell her the truth.”
“What if she runs?”
“Then at least you’ll know you tried. But my gut says she won’t. My gut says she feels the same way and is just as terrified as you are.”
I could see her looking longingly at the pantry.
“Come on,” I said with a laugh.
“What?”
“You’re holding back because you don’t want a witness to your midnight plundering of the craft service tent. All of your secrets are safe with me.”
“I’m so hungry,” she groaned.
We dug through everything, making a hot mess of Cookie’s tidy pantry and fridges.
“Thanks,” I said eventually. “For this. For listening. For not telling me I’m an idiot.”
“Oh, you’re definitely an idiot. But you’re my idiot brother-in-law.” She smiled. “Soon to be my baby’s favorite uncle.”
“Damn right.” I grinned despite my anxiety about Bernadette.
Elizabeth stood and patted her belly. “Come on. We should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” I followed her out, sealing up the tent behind us.
We walked back toward the bungalows together.
“Sebastian?” Elizabeth said as we reached her bungalow. I insisted on walking her to her door.
“Yeah?”
“She’d be lucky to have you. Don’t forget that.”
“I think I’m the lucky one.”
“Then tell her that. Tomorrow. Promise me.”
“I promise,” I said.
Elizabeth hugged me, then walked inside. I stood there for a moment, looking up at the stars, thinking about tomorrow.
I went back to my bungalow, the bed still rumpled from earlier, and tried to sleep.
But my thoughts were all over the place. Well, they circled around one thing—her.