CH 58 - #gamble
#gamble
Madison
After Luke stormed out of my house and peeled out of my driveway, I kept sitting on my couch with my heart broken into a million pieces.
As the reality of my having destroyed the love between my cowboy and me because of my own insecurities sank in, I set the exquisite multi-carat diamond engagement ring that he bought for me beside me, grabbed one of the throw pillows off the couch, and bawled into it.
My stomach churned and churned until I couldn’t take it anymore and ran to my bathroom, throwing up the supper that Luke and I cooked together.
Afterward, I took a Xanax. I got the prescription while I was still married to Ty.
It had always unknotted my stomach so that I could function.
Tonight, I just wanted it to make me fall asleep fast.
* * *
“Meredith, I messed up,” I told her. It was the morning after Luke left.
“What do you mean?”
After filling her in on everything that took place between Luke and me since he arrived at my house to surprise me, she sighed.
“Please say something,” I begged.
“Okay, but you’re not going to like it.”
“Tell it to me anyway.”
“Get the repairs done on your fucking house, list it with a realtor, and get your ass to Amarillo with Bella and Beau.”
“For what reason? Luke is done with me.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s devastated and believes there’s no point in trying with you anymore. I understand his feeling that way, too. You ripped his heart apart by turning down his proposal.”
“I’m not ready to start my life over with him.”
“Bullshit, you already have! Use the backbone that you were born with and make the full leap into your future with Luke. Wake the hell up before it’s too late and you lose him for good.
You’re going to have to prove yourself to him, though, Madison.
If you don’t do everything within your power to make him believe you’re in this with him, you will kick yourself for the rest of your life.
That handsome cowboy, who loves and adores you so much, is the one for you, and you’re the one for him. Period.”
“How do I prove myself to him?”
“By doing exactly what I’ve already told you to do. Get the repairs done on your house, sell it, and get your ass to the Texas Panhandle. Once Luke sees that you’ve done all of that, he’ll come back to you.”
Meredith and I hung up a couple of minutes later after Bella walked into my bedroom.
“Where’s daddy?” she asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes.
“He had to go back to work early. He told me to tell you and Beau that he loves you,” I lied, although his love for them was true. “Are you hungry, sweetheart?”
“I’m thirsty.”
“Would you like some orange juice?”
She nodded. I got out of bed, picked her up, and carried her to the kitchen, sitting her on the island. While she sipped her juice and continued waking up, I watched her, thinking that she would be so hurt if Luke didn’t return to all of our lives. He was the only real daddy she’d ever known.
As she settled into the couch, watching Toy Story while eating cinnamon-sugar toast and a sliced banana, I went back to my bedroom to call my mom with the news about Luke and me.
She told me the same thing that Meredith had, but without all the curse words.
I knew what I needed to do and started making plans to follow through.
TWO WEEKS LATER
The tile was being installed in my kitchen when someone rang my doorbell.
I opened my front door, surprised to see a constable.
He introduced himself, then asked if I was Madison Brooks.
After telling him I was, he served me with visitation papers on Beau from Luke.
In the legal document, he asked for visitation with Bella, which was left to my discretion.
On top of that, his monthly child support of $2,000 was listed as payable to me through the state attorney general’s office.
When I finished reading everything, I texted Luke a photo of the papers in my hand, plus what I had to say about them.
Me: You didn’t have to take things this far. I would’ve let you see Beau and Bella anytime you wanted.
I waited for his reply. After not receiving one, I called my realtor. She put her sign in my front yard three days later. I took a photo of it and texted it to Luke. He still didn’t reply.
Shockingly, my house sold the following weekend, prompting me to contact my boss on Monday to tell him my plan to move in with my mom. He had no problem with my going to Amarillo, only asking that I come back to Dallas for the occasional personnel meetings, which I was fine with doing.
My mom came to stay with me so that I could get my essentials packed, along with Bella and Beau’s. I put everything else in a large storage unit not far from my house. I would deal with it later. I had to get back to Amarillo as quickly as possible.
Before I pulled out of my driveway, I texted Luke the photo I’d taken of my realtor’s sign in my yard with “sold” on it, with the hope that he would finally reply.
He never did, crushing me. I was doing everything I knew to make him believe I genuinely loved him and would do anything to get him back.
Then I thought about how he’d done everything for me, showing me how much he loved me and wanted to make a life with me, Bella, and Beau.
I was wrong to think his arms would be open to my efforts so late, but I was still hoping.