Chapter 24
Ellie
You what?!” Lainey screeches as I watch her jaw drop so far, I’m surprised it didn’t hit the floor.
I probably should have kept this to myself for a while, but I couldn’t keep this from my best friends.
It was driving me crazy hiding it, and I knew they’d be a little pissed about it, but they’re my family.
They know everything about my life, just as I know theirs. I called them as soon as I got home.
The whole drive home, which is only five minutes, I sobbed. I sobbed like a freaking baby because I just dug myself a hole I don’t know if I can crawl out of. I don’t even know if I want to get out of it. The whole thing is overwhelming and completely unexpected.
“Oh, honey…” Gwen sighs. I can feel their disappointment through the phone.
I fall back onto my bed, throwing my arm over my face and holding my phone above me.
“I know, I know. I fucked up. I made a mistake.”
“In the locker room?” Lainey asks, a grin growing on her face. I nod, cringing in embarrassment.
“Lainey, seriously? Ellie, you could have gotten caught!”
“Okay, miss chemistry room,” Lainey rolls her eyes and Gwen glares into the phone.
“Oh, whatever. I’m just saying, you both work there. If you’d have gotten caught, you would have been fired.”
Gwen, ever the voice of reason.
“Guys, that’s not the point! I’m freaking out here!”
Lainey stifles a laugh and Gwen rolls her eyes.
“Hey, El. I have a question.” Lainey says, and I know it’s not going to be serious by the way she’s trying to keep her smile contained.
“What?”
“Is it as big as you remember?”
Lainey laughs hysterically as if that’s the funniest thing she’s ever said.
“Lainey!” Gwen and I say in unison.
“Oh, calm down, I’m kidding,” she waves her hand dismissively. “On a serious note, Ellie. Like I said before, you’re too good for him, and he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. But if this is what you want, you know I’ll support you no matter what. I can’t say the same for Holland though.”
Gwen scoffs. “Oh, no. Holland’s definitely going to kick his ass.”
“I don’t even know if it is what I want! I mean, yes, he’s attractive. He’s been nothing but kind to me since we moved here. He’s apologized every chance he’s had. But it’s a bad idea, right?” Absentmindedly, I play with a strand of my hair as I wait for their reply. Gwen takes a deep breath.
“Look, El. We can’t make this decision for you.
You need to let your heart decide what it wants.
Clearly, a part of you still has some sort of feelings for him or you wouldn’t have slept with him.
Plus, Lainey and I can’t really judge because we both went for questionable men.
Hell, both of you tried to talk me out of being with Ryker.
Now look at us. We’re happy, we’re thriving—”
“You’re pregnant!” Lainey interrupts with a shout. My eyes widen as I watch Gwen’s reaction. Her cheeks turn red, and my eyes begin to fill with tears.
“You are?” I ask, practically whispering. Gwen nods slowly, a tear dripping down her cheek as her hand instinctively move to her belly.
“Yeah, I am,” she sniffs, a smile growing on her face.
“Oh my effing god! You’re having a baby!” Lainey squeals, throwing her hands in the air and having her own little freak out moment.
“Wait, does Ryker know?” I ask, and Gwen shakes her head.
“Not yet. It’s pretty new, but I’m going to tell him this weekend. I just don’t know how he’ll react,” she grimaces.
“Well, have you guys talked about kids?”
“Of course. I just didn’t think it would happen this fast.”
“I call Godmother!” Lainey exclaims. That girl can’t read a room for shit.
“Are you happy, Gwenny?” I urge, hoping to get her honest answer. She looks down at her belly and rubs circles, a small smile on her lips. She’s glowing, and I’m incredibly happy for her and Ryker, if Gwen is happy.
Gwen nods. “Yeah…I think I really am.”
Grinning, I say, “I’m really happy for you, Gwen. You’ll be a great mom.”
“You will, and I’m happy for you too,” Lainey smiles.
Sniffling, Gwen wipes away a few stray tears, then straightens. Her face turns serious.
“Now, back to you, Ellie. You deserve to be happy, and if Jamie makes you happy, then I say go for it. Just make sure it’s really what you want first. Spend some more time together, feel it out.
Everyone deserves a second chance. It’s been what, nine years?
He’s not the same guy he was when he was eighteen, and you’re not the same girl.
You’re adults now,” Gwen urges. I know she has a point.
I can tell Jamie’s not the same guy he was all those years ago.
I just don’t want him to break my heart again.
“Just be careful, El. Take it slow. Get to really know each other again. And remember we’re always a call away if you need us, okay?” Lainey tells me. I know they are. They always are.
“Just, don’t tell my brother. Not yet,” I beg Lainey. Lainey is terrible at keeping secrets, but I really hope she keeps this one. I don’t need Holland finding out I might potentially be falling for Jamie. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now, he doesn’t need to know.
Lainey nods. “Of course, mum’s the word.” She motions zipping her lips and tossing the key.
A while later, I’m off the phone and finally lying down.
I have an early rehearsal, and I already have so much on my mind.
I don’t need to be exhausted too. Tomorrow is also the day I have to tell the kids about the fundraiser and working with the hockey team.
That will go one of two ways. Either they’ll take it really well and all will be fine.
Or they’ll be pissed and argue. Guess I’ll find out.