Chapter 24
Holland
The party is in full swing, and the energy in the big room is palpable. Everyone dances and signs along to the music as the DJ plays some absolute bangers.
Ryker and Gwen dance in the middle of the dance floor while the rest of the wedding party dances around them. Lainey, Ellie, and Haley dance together in one corner of the dancefloor, and they look like they’re having the time of their lives.
I know they’ve all had quite a bit to drink already, and the party isn’t close to over.
Lainey and Ellie began drinking as soon as they sat down at the dinner table. They started with the champagne that was given. When Haley joined in, that’s when the shots began. Gwen even partook in some of the drinking fun, to which Ryker got a bit overprotective and cut her off.
I would’ve told Lainey to switch to water over an hour ago if I had any say in what she does, but I don’t. So she’s stumbling in her heels and dancing like she’s Jello.
She probably doesn’t even realize how much alcohol she’s consumed in the short amount of time that has elapsed, but I’ve kept track. She’s had three glasses of champagne, five shots of who knows what, and I haven’t even seen her drink a sip of water since we arrived.
I’ve been drinking, too. I think I may have had a few too many beers to be honest, but I’m sober enough to make sure Lainey’s safe.
The only thing keeping me from going over there and throwing her over my shoulder is the fact that she’s dancing with my sister and her friends. I don’t care what my sister thinks about us, but Lainey does.
I know that’s one of the reasons she’s holding back. It’s obvious by the way she kissed me that she wants more, but I have to give her time to get acclimated with the feelings she’s having.
She’s the kind of girl that gets spooked by commitment, which usually wouldn’t be a problem for me. However, since I realized that the feelings of annoyance were actually feelings of attraction, I haven’t been able to get her out of my fucking head.
When the song begins to fade and a slow song comes on, Lainey and the girls stop dancing. Lainey leans over to say something in Ellie’s ear and walks out of the room and into the hallway.
My curiosity spikes as I watch her leave, her dark curls bouncing as she walks. My eyes find her ass as her hips sway from side to side, and my god, she is stunning. If she’d let me, I’d devour her.
Before I can stop myself, I’m following after her. She’s looking down at her phone, her brows pinched together as if she’s just seen something upsetting.
Walking over to a small bench against the wall, she sits and stares at her blue painted toes. Her delicate features look so sad, and I wonder what could have made her mood shift so quickly.
I take a seat next her, and I can feel her body stiffen slightly. She doesn’t do feelings, especially her own. She’s going to act as if everything is just peachy when it’s obviously not. That’s when she starts making questionable decisions.
I’m not one to tell anyone what to do or how to deal with their shit because I have my own shit that I can’t deal with, but Lainey has made some questionable decisions over the years to deal with her pain.
Instead of simply talking about her feelings, she bottles it up and eventually it explodes, and she does something reckless or crazy. Ellie’s tried to talk to her in the past. She’s tried to get Lainey to open up about how she’s feeling, but the stubborn girl refuses to let anyone help her.
I wouldn’t exactly consider Lainey and I to be friends per se, but we’ve known each other forever, and my sister would kill me if I knew Lainey was upset and drunk and I left her alone.
Honestly, I don’t know if I’d even be able to walk away at this point. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.
“Can you go?” Lainey asks without looking up, her voice soft but with a hint of annoyance.
I shrug, leaning back against the wall and crossing my ankles. “I like it here. It’s… relaxing.”
Lainey scoffs. “It was.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, hopeful that she’ll just tell me the truth, but knowing she won’t.
“Nothing. Did you follow me out here?”
“Yep,” I say, completely unashamed. She still hasn’t lifted her head to look at me, and I have to stop myself from placing my finger under her chin and turning her to face me.
“Okay… well I came to be alone. So, leave,” she demands, but I don’t move, and I have no plans to. Not until I know what’s going on with her.
Chuckling at her forwardness, I sit up a bit straighter and watch as she fiddles with a loose string on her gown.
“Damn Barkley. It’s a public space,” I tell her, gesturing to the empty hallway.
“Fine. I’ll go,” Lainey states, standing from her seat and wobbling slightly. As she begins to walk away, I reach out and grab her wrist. Her face twists in what looks like anger.
“Holland… let me go,” she orders, trying to look intimidating, but I can’t take her seriously with that red hot lipstick and her pouty expression.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
Rolling her eyes, she shifts toward me, her knee hitting mine, and the small touch makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“Why do you even care?” she inquires, her gaze narrowing on me as if I’m the last person she wants to be near right now.
“Believe it or not, Lainey Bug, I don’t like seeing you hurt,” I tell her, and I mean it. I don’t know what happened or what’s making her upset, but I do know I would do anything to take the pain away.
She scoffs, shifting her weight between each leg before looking down at me.
“You’ve never cared about my feelings before,” she shrugs, and the tone of her voice makes it sound like she’s challenging me. As if caring about her feelings is a new thing and I have some ulterior motive.
Standing, I step in toward her, and she takes a small step back. I didn’t mean to get all up in her space, but now that I’m here, I don’t want to back away. So instead, I take a step closer and her back hits the wall.
Lainey’s breathing picks up slightly, and it’s a bit shaky. I’m not sure if it’s from the closeness of our bodies or the amount of alcohol she’s consumed.
“Yeah well, some things change, Barkley,” I say quietly, bringing my face closer to her ear and neck.
Lainey stiffens, and I can feel her pulse start to race.
She’s nervous, and she never gets nervous.
I love that I can make her feel this way.
“Nothing can change that much,” she says breathily.
I chuckle lowly before looking her directly in the eyes. She doesn’t know how wrong she is.
Weeks ago, I wasn’t planning on acting on my desire for her, but now, I’m ready to throw all inhibition out the fucking window to taste her again.
“You’d be surprised.”
Her blue-grey eyes search mine as if she’s trying to figure out what I could possibly mean. I wonder how she’d feel if I told her what I’ve been thinking about her recently. I wonder how she’d react if I tried to kiss her again, this time not as a distraction.
Every fiber of my being wants to try it to see what would happen, and the thought of it alone is making me harden in my slacks. If Lainey can feel it, she doesn’t show it.
“I… I have to lie down. My head is spinning,” she tells me, and I want to ask her if it’s because she’s so consumed with thoughts of me fucking her, but I know it’s most likely from drinking all night.
“Okay, I’ll walk you up,” I say, and before she can refuse me, I back away from her, taking her hand and pulling her with me toward the elevator.
When the elevator doors open, Lainey stumbles in and leans her back against the wall, her eyes closing.
She looks breathtaking, and if she were mine, I’d take her right here in this elevator. God, the things I’d do to her, with her, for her.
The doors open on the third floor, and I follow Lainey down the hallway to the room she’s staying in. She rummages through the tiny purse she holds and fumbles with the keycard, somehow managing to unlock the door and walk inside.
I follow, not really knowing if I should stay to make sure she’s okay or leave and give her privacy.
The room is dim, the curtains drawn, and the air thick with the scent of perfume and alcohol. Lainey collapses onto the mattress, her body limp, her eyes half-closed. The blue dress she wears rides up slightly, showing off her long, tan legs.
My dick twitches and I wish more than anything that she wasn’t drunk, and she would admit to herself that she’s attracted to me.
I should go. I should really, really get out of here. But as I begin to back away, Lainey turns over, her dress moving just far enough off her shoulder that the pink of her taut nipple pokes out.
Fuck. Fuckkkk. God fucking damnit. Get out of here, Holland. Abort mission.
Lainey groans, opening her eyes and watching me as I stand there, trying not stare at her fucking nipple.
“Holland?” she says softly. Clearing my throat, I nod.
“Yeah, Lainey Bug?”
“My parents are in Italy,” she tells me, and the reason for her being upset becomes abundantly clear.
Her parents, whom she hasn’t seen in probably six or more months, who she barely speaks to, are in the same country she’s in right now.
“Shit. How do you know?” I ask, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.
“My mother called. She said she’d meant to call for a while, but she got busy,” Lainey explains.
Too busy for her own daughter? That’s what I want to say, but I’m sure Lainey’s already thinking that, and I don’t want to make her feel worse, so instead I say, “Does she know you’re here?”
Lainey nods, her face falling into a deeper frown.
“Yeah, she knows. I told her about Gwen’s wedding and asked if they’d want to grab lunch while I’m here.
She gave me some excuse about them being ‘super busy’ and that was it.
She told me to have fun and then hung up.
She barely acknowledged the fact that I was here.
I haven’t spoken to them in months, and she didn’t even ask about my life or what I’ve been up to,” she sits up, wobbling a bit, but continues her story.
“Why doesn’t she care about me? Why don’t my own parents want anything to do with me? What is so wrong with me that they can’t even spare a few hours to see their own daughter?” she asks, tears welling in her eyes.
Lainey Barkley doesn’t cry. She doesn’t talk about her feelings, or her parents, or how she truly feels about the fucked-up situation.
The alcohol in her system must be taking over, because on a regular day, she’d rather be caught dead than talk about her feelings.
Moving toward her, I wait for her to object to me sitting on the bed next to her. When she doesn’t, I lower myself down and grab her hand.
I hate that she’s feeling this way. I hate that her own parents have made her feel so small, so insignificant. They’re the reason she’s so guarded. They’re the reason she’s afraid to let anyone in or get close to people.
I hate them. I hate them for making her feel like she’s any less than amazing. I hate them for thinking that sending her money or expensive gifts would make up for the years of neglect and parental guidance. My dad may be a piece of shit, but at least he was around.
He was at every function, every party. He never let his shit get in the way of family. Which is probably why my mother let him get away with the shit he did for so long, and probably why we didn’t see all of the illegal shit he was doing.
Regardless, he was there. Lainey’s parents never were. I can’t imagine how that must feel, to have parents but to never really know them. Never feel their love.
“Listen to me, Bug. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. Your parents are fucking idiots. They have no idea what they’re missing. You’re a badass, and they don’t deserve you, you understand me? Fuck them,” I say, meaning every single word and hoping she believes them.
Her teary eyes look up at me, and my heart constricts at the broken look on her face. The last time we had a talk like this was when we were kids. She’s a grown woman now, and she’s had plenty of time for these feelings to fester and build.
I wish she’d talk about it more. I wish she’d let me in, let someone in.
She doesn’t even talk to Ellie, Gwen, or Haley about this shit.
She just lets it build and build, and now the dam is broken and it’s all spilling out.
I just hope I can help build her walls back up or at least patch them up the best I can.