Chapter 25
Holland
Lainey sniffles, and my heart aches for her. I don’t know how to make her realize that she’s fucking perfect, and her parents are assholes. Nothing I say will make her understand that it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with them.
Honestly, she’s probably not even going to remember any of this in the morning. I could tell her I was in the mob, and she wouldn’t remember. She’ll wake up in the morning and completely forget that she even spoke to her mother. So it doesn’t matter what I tell her.
“You think I’m a badass?” she asks, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Even tear streaked and snotty, she’s beautiful.
Laughing softly, I say, “Hell yeah. You’re freaking awesome. Tough as nails, and even a little scary at times,” I tell her, and she smiles.
“I thought you found me annoying and bitchy,” she shrugs, and I chuckle.
“You are, but that’s okay,” I say, and she nudges me with her shoulder, no longer crying. Thank fuck.
“Hey!” she shouts, and we both laugh. It’s so nice to hear her laugh after seeing her cry. It feels good knowing I’m the one that put that smile on her face.
After a moment, her laughter dies down, and her face is back to serious. Shit, what happened? She was just fine.
Before I can ask what’s wrong, Lainey maneuvers herself so that she’s straddling me, pushing me down on the mattress and smashing her lips against mine.
It happens so fast, I don’t even realize what’s happening until her tongue is slipping into my mouth and her breasts rub against my chest. Oh, fuck. What the hell is happening right now?
Two seconds ago, she was crying, then laughing, and now she’s on top of me, devouring me like I’m her last meal.
“Lainey,” I try to say through kisses, but she doesn’t let up. I have to physically pry her off of me in order to catch my breath and attempt to think rationally.
She doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s drunk. She’s drunk and she’s upset and she’s doing what she does best. Distracting herself.
As much as I want this, I know we can’t do this right now. Lainey doesn’t want me, she wants a distraction from her thoughts and feelings. When this happens, I want it to be for real. I want it to be because she wants me, not just somebody to take away her pain.
“Lainey, stop. You’re drunk, and you’re upset. You don’t want this,” I try to explain, lifting her off of me and gently placing her back on the mattress. Fuck, I want her so bad. But I know this isn’t how this should go. She’s not thinking clearly.
“You should get some rest,” I say softly, my voice gentle but firm. Lainey’s bottom lip shoots out in a pout, and my god, if she isn’t the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
“Come on, lie down, Lainey Bug. You’ve got maid of honor duties to fulfil tomorrow, and Gwen will kill you if you show up hungover to her wedding.”
Lainey lies down on her back and watches me as I take her heels off of her feet, tossing them to the floor. I tuck her in and watch as she begins to tear up again. Oh, shit. What now?
"Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice sounding more urgent than I meant for it to. She shakes her head.
“My parents don’t want me. You don’t want me. Nobody wants me,” she sobs, and my heart breaks. Fuck. She thinks I don’t want her? Is she serious? If only she could hear the thoughts inside my head when I’m around her, then she’d know crazy that statement is.
“Trust me, Lainey,” I begin, leaning down and touching her tear-stained cheek with my hand. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”
Looking up at me through her lashes, she sniffles.
“Then why won’t you kiss me?” she asks, and the shake in her voice makes me want to do whatever she asks of me. Fuck, why is she making this so hard?
Chuckling softly, I push a strand of her curly hair behind her ear.
“I would absolutely devour you if the timing wasn’t so shitty. You’re drunk, Barkley.”
Lainey shakes her head. “I’m not that drunk,” she insists, and even though I’m pretty wasted, I’m not as bad as she is.
“Why don’t you ask me tomorrow?” I ask, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning.
Lainey’s bottom lip juts out as she pouts. Huffing, she sinks into her pillow.
“Fine.”
“Go to sleep,” I order, hoping there won’t be any more tears from her tonight. I don’t think I could handle it.
“Don’t go,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. “Stay with me. Please.”
Hesitating, my gaze flicks to her face. She’s looking up at me, her eyes pleading, her lips slightly parted. There’s something raw and desperate in her expression, something that tugs at my fucking heartstrings.
I know I shouldn’t stay. I know this is a bad idea. But I also know I can’t walk away from her like this.
“Alright,” I nod, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll stay. But just for a little while.”
That’s fine. I’ll stay until she falls asleep, which should be fairly quick considering her eyes are already closed.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, my back stiff, and my hands clasped in my lap, Lainey turns to face me, her body inching closer, her movements slow and deliberate.
A jolt of surprise hits me as her hand reaches out, brushing against my cheek. Her touch is warm, her fingers trembling slightly.
She doesn’t say anything, just lays there, staring at me. It looks like she’s got something to say, but she’s not letting herself say it.
Is she feeling what I’m feeling? Does she want me as much as I want her? Does she wish she wasn’t drunk so we could fulfil our desires?
About ten minutes later, Lainey’s breathing evens out, becoming heavier. Instead of getting up and leaving, I close my eyes and replay the night in my head. Watching Lainey dance and have fun and let go, it was a sight to behold.
I wish she could be that way all the time, and all of sudden, that’s my goal. Making sure Lainey gets to live the life she deserves, instead of being a shell of who she could be.
Sunlight pours in through the curtains, and my eyelids flutter open as my arm tightens around something warm. No, not something. Someone.
Shooting upward in the bed, I realize that someone is Lainey, and she’s still snoring softly. Shit, I fell asleep. Shit, shit, shit balls.
Okay, if I can just move softly and quietly, I can sneak out before she wakes up and realizes I’m still here. She probably doesn’t recall last night’s events, especially the part where she asked me to stay. Sober Lainey doesn’t like me as much as drunk Lainey did.
Moving as slowly as I possibly can, I begin to maneuver off the bed. Instead of quietly making an exit, however, I roll off of the bed and land on my ass.
“Fuck,” I hiss, staring up at the ceiling. Well, there’s no sneaking out of here now.
Lainey shoots up in bed, looking over the edge and finding me star-fished on the floor. Her eyes widen at the sight, and she immediately covers herself with the sheet. She’s still wearing last night’s attire, but apparently it’s different in the light of day.
“Holland?” she says softly.
Lying on the floor, I reply. “Yes?”
“Why are you on the floor?”
“It’s much cooler down here. Plus, the floor feels great on my back,” I say sarcastically.
“Right,” she drawls. “Well, can you get up?”
Nodding, I decide that’s probably best right now.
Pushing myself off the ground, I stand over the bed and watch as Lainey’s eyes trail up and down my body.
Am I crazy, or did her cheeks brighten a bit when her eyes hit the bulge in my pants? There’s no way, right? Well, even so, I can feel myself hardening.
Lainey’s eyes meet mine, and I swear there’s a heat in them that I’m not used to seeing aimed at me.
“I’m sorry about last night. You didn’t have to stay and take care of me,” she tells me, and I immediately shake my head.
“I did,” is all I reply. I don’t know what made me stay all night. I don’t know if it’s because she’s Ellie’s best friend, if it’s because I feel a bit responsible for her or if it’s because it’s her and I think I’d do just about anything for her.
Something told me to stay and make sure she was alright, so I did.
Sitting upward, Lainey lets the sheet fall off her and watches my face for a reaction. I take a small intake of breath as I notice the peaked nipples underneath the thin fabric of her dress.
“Holland?” she practically whispers.
Without looking away, I say, “Yes?”
“I remember last night,” she begins, and I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing.
I nod slowly. “Okay… what exactly do you remember?”
She shifts, almost uncomfortably, her eyes darting down to the bed as she plays with the white sheet in her hands.
“Everything,” she says, peering up at me and looking like a god damn angel.
I swallow hard, knowing exactly what she’s trying to say. She’s referring to the kiss and my refusal to touch her while she was intoxicated.
“Okay…”
“You told me to ask you today, and now I am… asking you to kiss me,” she says, biting her bottom lip and causing my fucking cock to spring to life. Is she serious? Does she know what she’s asking for?
“You want me to kiss you? Me, Holland? The guy you practically despise?” I ask, because I don’t want her doing anything she’ll regret, or using this as a way to distract herself from her problems.
Lainey giggles, still biting that damn lip as her eyes search my face.
“I don’t despise you, Monroe. You have your quirks, and you did used to annoy the shit out if me, but I don’t know. I’m slightly less annoyed with your presence now,” she shrugs. I bark out a laugh, not meaning for it to be so abrupt, but her explanation caught me off guard.
“Slightly less annoyed, huh?” I ask, running my hand through my messed-up hair. Lainey nods, smiling slightly.
“Yeah, I mean, you’re still my best friend’s brother. You’re supposed to be a smidge annoying, right?”
“Right,” I nod. We haven’t taken our eyes off of each other, and I am physically holding myself back from attacking her and feasting on her body.
Taking a step forward, I stop right at the edge of the bed, right next to Lainey who has now moved over an inch to let me join her on the bed.
I take a seat, the bed dipping slightly under my weight. My arm brushes against hers and a spike of adrenaline rushes down my spine.
“You sure you want this?” I ask breathily. God, I hope she says yes, because at this point, I don’t think I could pull myself away.
“Yes,” she answers, sounding so sure.
“You’re not worried about Ellie?” I ask, knowing Ellie was a big reason Lainey would never cross a line with me.
“I am, a bit. But I think she’d want me to be happy, and right now, this would make me happy.”
“She would,” I agree, licking my lips. Her eyes follow the movement, and I watch as goosebumps form on her small arms.
“Holland,” she murmurs, her breath hot against my skin. “I’m scared,” she says softly, looking down.
Placing my pointer finger under her chin, I bring her face up to look at me.
“Don’t be,” I tell her. “I’m not going to hurt you, Lane.”
“You can’t tell Ellie, not yet. I have to be the one to tell her, do you understand me?” she says sternly, and I can’t help but smile a bit at the authority in her tone. She’s not even a little intimidating, but I nod, agreeing with her.
“Okay, I won’t say anything.”
“I’m serious, Holland. I will cut your balls off and feed them to you if she finds out from anyone other than me,” she warns.
“As fun as that sounds, I solemnly swear that I will not tell my sister anything until you have done so,” I tell her, holding up my right hand.
“You have to promise me one thing,” Lainey says, and her face is much softer now, more vulnerable. “Don’t make me regret this, Monroe.”
My heart squeezes, knowing this girl never lets anyone in and she’s choosing to let me in. She’s opening up to me, and that means more to me than I ever thought it would.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Barkley,” I tell her, and mean it. I would never do anything to hurt her.
Lainey takes a deep breath before looking me in the eyes and saying, “Okay, then kiss me.”