Lucero
They whisked me away into a home I didn’t know.
They left me alone in a room and disappeared, and I could barely take anything in because all I could see was Qanek’s rage.
The way that boulder broke into a million pieces.
The way he’d looked at me as he’d chained me to the wall.
The way he’d inflicted violence against himself.
And then the fear when he’d been whisked away.
The tears hadn’t stopped falling since I’d been brought here. The pain in my wrists was burning now, and I didn’t know what to do. What to think. Where to go from here.
But then, after what felt like hours of being alone, the door opened and two figures walked inside.
Two very human figures.
Two very human womanly figures.
The first woman was a beautiful, voluptuous Black woman with a head full of tight coils and a soft expression that she trained my way. The second was a thin yet tall Asian woman, with twin braids, a gentle gaze, and an even gentler smile.
“Hi,” the first woman spoke. “My name is Dolores Villanueva.”
“And I’m Mia Song.”
“I’m… Lucero Infante.”
There was an awkward moment of silence that Dolores broke. “So, this is awkward? But we can kind of understand what you’re going through.” Her eyes flicked down to my wrists and then back up to my face. “We were kidnapped by gargoyles, after all.”
“I think that’s an awful introduction,” Mia said softly, shaking her head. “What she means to say is that we’re married to Qanek’s brothers. Nazzar and Xavir.”
“Right.”
They had wives too?
Qanek had never mentioned that part… Then again, he rarely spoke about the siblings who abandoned him. They’d also attacked him in his own home.
I tried to rationalize why they did what they’d done. They probably thought they were protecting me from him. They thought they were doing me a favor, but now all I had was this worry about where he was and what they were doing to him, if he had finally succumbed to the darkness.
“So we know that this all might be a little crazy, that’s why Nazzar and Xavir sent us here to help you. They thought you might be more comfortable with us.”
I wasn’t sure that was true.
I’d actually never had friends before. I hardly knew how to talk to people.
The gargoyles I could understand, because everything about them was as new to me as I was to them and communication was a learning curve for us all.
Speaking to humans? It was a struggle. I always felt like I did and said things I shouldn’t have and always ended up making a fool of myself.
I scratched at my arm and seemed to curl into myself.
“Well, um, you can come in? I guess. But I’m fine.”
Dolores made a sound in her throat and waltzed in. “You aren’t fine. But that’s okay. We’re here now and you can trust us.” She sat on the bed next to me and immediately reached for my hand, setting it in her lap.
Her touch was… comforting.
“Now, tell us all about it.”
“But only if you’re comfortable.” Mia took the seat on my opposite side. “You don’t have to disclose anything, but sometimes talking to someone who knows these gargoyles, these brothers, well, it can be helpful.”
I looked from both of their faces. I couldn’t quite place it, but their auras were far different from Carlota’s. They were gentle, kind, and their presence alone made me feel… welcome.
I broke down then, unable to hold back my emotions any longer. The tears poured out and they wouldn’t stop.
“Aw, honey, it’s okay.” Dolores wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into her generous bosom where I sobbed harder. “We’re here for you.”
Mia’s hand went to my back and rubbed a comforting path along my spine. “I’m so sorry he hurt you,” she whispered.
I jerked away from Dolores and wiped my tears, trying to pull myself together. “No, you don’t understand. He didn’t hurt me. He… He… he…” I sniffled, unsure what to say. “He didn’t mean it.”
I could feel their pitying gazes. I’d expected them. I’d known they wouldn’t believe me when I said those words.
“I know how that sounds. I know how it looks, but… he’s my husband and…”
“You don’t have to be his wife,” Dolores interjected. “Just because he says you are or if he coerced you…”
I shook my head. “I’m not… I’m not explaining myself correctly. You don’t understand.”
“Then help us understand,” another voice said out of nowhere.
I jerked up, my attention snagging on a new woman who had appeared in the doorway.
She was thick, with brown skin, well-defined curls, and a severe expression. She wore a long black dress and a tiara adorned her head, glittering amidst her curls.
“And who are you?” I demanded, feeling my hackles rising through my fear.
“Oh, sorry.” She fluffed her hair and smoothed her palms down her dress. “I’m Lourdes Rivera. I’m–”
“The Queen of the Underworld!” Dolores called out, surprised.
Lourdes waved the words away. “It’s a weird title and I’m not used to it yet. I came because Ramiel, Lorenzo, and Kane asked me to check on you. They’re the Kings of the Underworld, and they want to know what happened with Qanek. Can you tell me?”
She stared at me seriously, and for a second, her eyes flickered so only the whites were visible. After a few moments, that look was gone, and she was taking a seat on the bed near me and reaching for the hand Dolores wasn’t holding.
I basked in her warmth. She was equally soft, and there was something as reassuring about her as there was about Dolores and Mia. They inspired trust, something I scarcely felt with other people.
So I told them.
I told them everything.
From the moment I saw him in my camera, to how I ended up being chained to the wall.
And everything in between. I even added the raunchy bits, blushing as I got through those, but still able to get the truth out.
I hadn’t realized just how badly I needed to talk about this with someone else, and now that I’d gotten it off my chest, I felt a weight lifted.
“That’s why I say he didn’t mean it. It’s… it’s like he was something–someone–else. Something was wrong and…” I looked around, but the three women seemed to only be looking at me with sad gazes.
“It’s obvious he has PTSD,” Dolores said gently.
Fresh tears formed in my eyes and a sob got caught in my chest. Finally, finally they understood.
“Yeah.” I sniffled, pulling my hands from theirs so I could wipe away the tears.
“These gargoyles can be unpredictable,” Lourdes said, patting me gently on the knee.
“Their minds work differently than a human’s because they weren’t born in the human world and weren’t made like humans are made.
However, I think mental health spans across all species and clearly Qanek needs help. ”
I swallowed the tightness in my throat. “I don’t know how to help him.”
“I don’t think you can, honey.” Lourdes sighed and shook her head. “And I won’t put your safety at risk.”
My brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”
The Queen of the Underworld stood and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress, but kept eye contact as she said, “He needs help, and we are going to help him manage his PTSD and his rage, but I won’t allow you to be there for it.”
“What? But I–”
“He hurt you. Whether it was an accident or he didn’t know what he was doing, it still happened and it never should’ve happened in the first place.”
I slumped in my seat, her words hitting me.
“And I’m not going to risk him getting triggered and hurting you again.
We will find Qanek help, and when he’s able to control his anger and reactions, then he may see you.
But in the meantime, you should go back home.
Rest. Get back to your life and decide if you truly want to be mated to a gargoyle. ”
The thought of going back home and acting as if nothing had happened was baffling, but what else could I do? The Queen of the Underworld seemed determined to have her way, and I didn’t have the energy to fight back. Because at the end of the day… she was right.
I had to think about myself and my safety. Qanek was strong, and no matter how much I understood what he was going through, I couldn’t live with him waiting for the moment he would snap and accidentally hurt me. I didn’t deserve that, either.
I wiped my tears away, angry with myself. With the world. “I don’t want him to think I’m giving up on him.”
“Hey, now.” Lourdes came forward and took my hands in hers once again.
“You aren’t giving up on him. You’re just giving him space and room to grow into his fullest potential, to live a life where he can manage the darkness he carries.
A life for the both of you. So don’t blame yourself or feel guilty about leaving. None of this is your fault…”
I shook my head. “All my life, I’ve been discarded and I know Qanek feels the same way.
In the entire world, he’s the only one who ever made me feel wanted, loved.
We were only together for a short time, but it was real.
What he did was wrong, I know that, and I know I deserve to be with someone who won’t tie me up or hurt me at the first sign of conflicting opinions.
But, he deserves love too.” I looked her in the eyes.
“I won’t disagree with you, but he needs to get his anger under control. If he doesn’t get it under control, it could be detrimental, and dangerous, to himself and everyone around him.”
I nodded with her. But I felt… sad.
“Do you want to be with him?” Lourdes asked gently.
“He deserves to heal and to know that I will be there waiting. For however long it takes.”
And I would wait. It was thanks to him that I knew what it was to truly care for another as friends and as more.
Sure, we’d both done so many terrible things to hurt each other, and I wasn’t sure he deserved my forgiveness.
But already, I missed him. The kind him.
The grumpy him. The one who untangled my hair and hunted food so I wouldn’t starve.
The one who asked me about my hobbies and held my pinky tightly in his claw.
“Will you forgive him?”
“Is it wrong to say yes?” I sounded weak, even to my own ears.
“No.” Lourdes patted my hand.
“If he’s able to change…”
Lourdes nodded in understanding. “It’s always possible.”
“I hope so.”
Lourdes smiled. “Give it time. In the meantime, let’s get your wrists wrapped and then we can take you back home. Is that alright?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yeah,” I agreed. “I want to go home.”
I needed to think about things.
Qanek wasn’t evil. He’d done a bad thing, one that was in poor judgment and had resulted in me getting hurt.
But I knew he’d been hurting as well. Something had overtaken his mind.
Not just rage, but… something deeper. Some trauma that blinded him to reality.
I was angry, hurt, yet I wanted to forgive him.
I loved him. And it was in that love that I hoped he could find a chance to heal.
And maybe Lourdes was right.
Maybe everything would be alright.