Lucero
Many months later…
I sat at the coffee shop, fiddling with the memory stick in my hand. Despite my resolve, and what I knew I had to do, I felt a small ball of nerves at the pit of my stomach. No matter my determination, that was a sensation I feared would never go away. The anxiety of displeasing people.
But boundaries needed to be set.
And it was high time I stood up for myself.
I looked up when Carlota approached, looking as stunning as usual.
She took a seat in front of me, staring me up and down.
I waited for her to say something. Anything.
After all, she’d witnessed my kidnapping and hadn’t seen me for months.
Sure, I’d been home for a while, but I hadn’t contacted her at all.
In fact, I’d come home to realize that she hadn’t even reported me missing.
I’d come home to realize that nobody really gave a fuck that I was gone.
It was eye-opening, to say the least.
“Are those my pictures?” She flipped her hair and reached for the memory stick in my fingers.
I pulled it just out of her grasp and she shot me a confused look. “Really, Carlota?” I sighed. “You haven’t seen me for months and that’s the first thing you say to me?”
Her plucked brows furrowed together. “What? It’s not like you died or anything. You’re here. You’re obviously okay. What, do you want me to throw you a pity party?”
Not a pity party, but I wanted something.
“I want you to be a good friend,” I countered, feeling anger rise up.
I’d called her the day before and asked her to meet me here. So I could give her her photos, and so I could say all that I needed to say.
Because the truth was, being in Qanek’s vicinity and then afterwards meeting Dolores, Mia, and Lourdes, I knew something in my life had to change.
Starting with this.
“I am your only friend,” she said with exasperation and an eyeroll. “Nobody else likes you.”
Those words would have hurt me once. They didn’t now because I knew they weren’t true.
It wasn’t that people didn’t like me, it’s that they never took the time to get to know me.
It’s that I never accepted healthy relationships before and had tethered myself to a single toxic person out of fear of being abandoned.
But Dolores and Mia were friends. They were good friends, even if talking to them hurt. Talking to them reminded me too much of their gargoyle husbands… and that I was without one.
“You aren’t a good friend.” My patience had frayed. “You’ve never been. You use me at your convenience, and you manipulate and abuse me and think it’s okay, but it’s not. And I’m tired of being your little slave, doing everything you want without receiving an ounce of respect in return.”
Carlota scoffed. “So, what, are you going to cut me off?”
I smiled and it seemed to unnerve her, because she sat back with wide eyes.
“I don’t ever want to see you again, Carlota.”
“But… but you can’t just–”
“I know you want your pictures, and I’m going to give them to you.
Not because you deserve them, but because I worked hard on taking these and my work deserves to be seen.
Don’t worry.” I slid the memory stick in her direction, and she snatched it up with greedy fingers.
“But this is where I say goodbye. Don’t call me again.
Don’t ask me for favors. Because I’m over you, Carlota. I’m done.”
I wondered then if she would say something to me at that, but she never really got a chance.
Like deja vu, my gaze lifted, and there he was.
A monstrous statue looming over Carlota. A statue riddled with cracks and scars, broken horns and torn wings, two different colored eyes, and an angry expression that made my chest pinch. Not with fear.
But want.
Need.
I hadn’t seen him since that day he’d been taken away by the Kings of Hell.
I didn’t ask about him whenever I spoke to Dolores and Mia, and they never brought him up.
A part of me had been afraid for his fate.
Afraid that they would kill him for what had happened between us instead of helping him heal, and I hadn’t been sure my heart could handle it.
So I kept my worries and curiosity to myself and let it keep me up at night.
But here he was.
Alive.
Whole.
I’d fantasized about what we would say to each other if we saw each other again. In all our time apart, I’d contemplated what I wanted and what I deserved, what I wanted from him and life in general.
Words caught in my throat, and old ugly fears rose up to rear their head. In all my imaginings, we had been alone. But Carlota was here, and a voice told me that now that she was in front of him again, he would steal her away. It was her who he wanted, after all.
I silenced that voice and waited with bated breath…
Carlota noticed his shadow cast over her and slowly turned. She screamed and Qanek’s wings twitched at the sound. He huffed a breath and looked down at her…
I waited.
He glared and grumbled, “Shut up.”
Carlota sputtered and squealed when he grabbed the back of her chair and shoved the whole thing away with her on top. She toppled to the side and fell on the ground, but he made no move to help her stand. Neither did I.
For a moment, we found each other, our gazes colliding and holding. It felt like time stretched on until Qanek finally spoke.
“Hello, feral creature.”
A tear slipped from my eye.
Then Qanek stepped close to me, dropping to his knees. Even kneeling, his horn reached my height. His face was level with mine, and he wedged himself between my legs. I welcomed the discomfort his breadth brought.
Qanek bowed his head over my stomach and his hands grasped for me. He smelled like I remembered, and I ran my hands through his hair.
“Nothing I say will ever excuse the harm I have caused you,” he rumbled, his voice low and dark.
“But I am here because I have learned from my mistakes. I have suffered at the hands of Lord Kane, and I have been lost in my own mind. In my darkest thoughts, I could see how I have wronged you. And I repented. I–” He swallowed thickly.
“I have learned from my masters for many months how to control my ire. I have learned from my brothers and their wives what it means to be a husband. Their husband school has taught me many things and Ii–”
“Husband school?” My brows shot up. “You went to husband school?”
Qanek nodded slowly. “Mia and Dolores taught me many things. They taught me how to speak and care for humans and to understand your sayings and emotions. I now know that Jesus Christ is not a man you long for, but a deity you call upon when in distress.”
“Right.” Because that’s what it was.
“My brothers have taught me to not give in to anger. To channel it into something new. And you may not believe that I have learned to master it in so short a time. You may never forgive my slights against you. You may have lost your belief in me entirely, but I am here spread at your feet, wife, and I miss you. You are not the wife I wanted, but you are the one fate knew I needed. And I grew to want you. I grew to love you, and I loved you before I even understood the concept of the word. Do not misunderstand, I am still angry. I am still full of hatred for so many things in this world, but I know with certainty that you are the one I want for now and forever. So I came to find you, wife, with the hope that you will forgive me for what I did.”
The tears flowed freely, and I sniffled, steeling my spine. “You hurt me,” I accused.
“I did.”
“You left me.”
“I did.”
“You made me doubt so much…”
“All that you have said is true. I have no excuse except I was a weaker gargoyle, driven by the fire raging inside. But I love you, Lucero. I love you. And should you give me another opportunity, I will not squander it. I will provide and protect, and I will listen to your needs and try to be as brave and as fearless as you.”
I stared at him.
“I never hated you,” I confessed. And those words were the truth.
“I was never upset with you for what happened, though I should have been. But I couldn’t bring myself to feel it.
All I did was miss you. But even so, I know what I deserve, Qanek.
I deserve more than a dark cave. I deserve more than to be yelled at or locked away because of your fears. I deserve a life. I deserve to live.”
He nodded. “I will give you all that is in my power, my love.” He stood and held his hands out to me, waiting for me to take them. There were no expectations, only hope. “Will you come back to my side? As my wife?”
I stared at his outstretched claws and took a breath.
How to tell him that I had made my decision the moment I’d seen him loom behind Carlota in that eerie, menacing way he did? How to tell him that I’d made the decision even when I’d been whisked away back home and had lived without him for months?
He’d always been on my mind, never far and always missed.
I believed people were not defined by their mistakes. Redemption was possible for a lot of people. And he was here and I wanted nothing more than for him to prove what I knew deep in my heart.
That he was the gargoyle meant for me.
So I slid my hands into his.
And I smiled.