6. Pez
Pez
It’s the best and most frustrating dinner of my life.
That’s all I can think, as I watch Daphne and her little girl through dinner.
Cap is staying close to them and I’m following them around, but I kind of feel like a third wheel.
I resent it. I want to be the man at their side.
I definitely want to be the one Daphne is leaning against while watching her daughter play and that’s exactly what she’s doing now.
Only the man she’s leaning on is her brother and for the first time in my life I’d like to deck Cap and push him out of the way.
It doesn’t help that it’s still in my head as she referred to me as nothing more than her brother’s friend.
I’m a stranger to her, but I don’t want to stay that way.
For the first time since leaving Tennessee, I see someone I want to claim—someone that I want for more than just a quick fuck.
Daphne isn’t ready for that. She’s a good woman and deserves more.
I need to be logical and keep my distance.
I can’t really offer her everything she deserves.
She’s married to a lawyer for fuck’s sake.
Sure, he was a bad one, but I know the money they drag in.
Devil’s Blaze is still rebuilding. I make good money—better than I did in Tennessee—but probably nowhere near what shit-for-brains Dane makes.
Then, there’s the fact that there’s blood on my hands.
I have a felony record. I’ve got to find a way to keep that in mind–as well as remind myself that she’s my best friend’s sister who needs time to heal and once she does …
She doesn’t need me for a man. She deserves better …
someone clean. I say that over and over in my head.
Just the mere thought of someone laying claim to Daphne and her daughter cuts me up on the inside.
Cammie is a beautiful little girl that cracks me up.
She’s a five-year-old, bossy, dynamo who loves having us at her command. I want to keep her in my life too.
I’m jerked out of my thoughts when Cammie tugs on my hand. “Pez, play with me!”
I squat down so that the two of us are at eye level. “Do you want to drive a school bus?”
“Yes! Pwease, Pez!”
I grin at the way she says please. On instinct, I reach out to her, pleased as she jumps willingly into my arms. I hoist her up on my shoulders, keeping my grip on her ankles.
She squeals in joy and her little hands pat my head excitedly.
“Wrap your hands around my neck kiddo and lean into me and I’ll take us to the bus,” I explain.
She does it immediately. I feel like a freaking king and all because I made this little girl giggle in happiness.
I make my way to the small mechanical bus and put her in the driver seat.
Daphne comes up beside us and I tamp down the instant hunger I feel as she stands beside me.
I don’t know how this is possible so quickly.
It’s fucking painful, because I need to get used to the idea that she’s not mine.
Yet, the urge to be the one she leans on after a rough day, to hold her hand, to kiss her …
“Pez?”
I pull myself away from my thoughts as I look down at the woman in question.
“You can call me Eli.”
“Eli?” she asks, her cheeks coloring slightly.
“My name. Pez is my club name. I’m not club when it comes to you. I’m just a man.”
“Is that a distinction you always make with the people in your life?”
“I don’t know.”
She laughs slightly. “How do you not know?”
I watch as Cammie starts talking to a little girl whose mom just put her in the little bus with her.
The mom keeps staring at me, but I ignore her.
“I haven’t really had anyone that wasn't part of the club in my life. Well, other than your brother. They used my road name in the army, too. So …” I trail off with a shrug.
“Eli,” she says quietly, and I swear my dick gets harder. “Is it short for Elijah?”
“It is, but don’t spread that around,” I joke. As the bus stops rocking, I take Cammie into my arms again and we walk towards the miniature, porcelain, Ferris wheel. I buckle her in as she talks excitedly to her mom.
“You’re good with kids. Do you have any of your own?” Daphne questions.
She has no idea the kind of pain her question brings me.
I do my best to swallow it down and ignore the sting, but I know it bleeds through just the same.
“Let’s just say your situation isn’t unique, only in my case it was my woman who screwed one of my brothers,” I respond with a shrug, trying to act like I’m not bothered by the past at all.
In truth, I am. It’s not because I still care about the bitch.
It has more to do with this feeling that I wasn’t enough for her.
Suddenly, I feel Daphne’s hand on mine. I look down to see her hand over mine.
The heat from her touch zings through my system, firing through my veins like a runaway train and centering in my fucking heart—which is skipping beats as I listen to her sweet voice.
“I’m sorry that happened to you, Pe—Eli.”
I look at her. “I’m sorry it happened to you too, Daphne.” She smiles at me and my damn heart lurches again.
What the hell is this woman doing to me?